How do you cope?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Pinky, Nov 4, 2002.

  1. Pinky

    Pinky New Member

    How do you all cope with the reality of this syndrome and the way it makes you feel, the pain it puts you in and how it changes your life? How do you cope with the depression-the fact that you will never be the same again, that you can't do the things you need and love to do? Just going to visit my kids or having them here for dinner or even just going to the movies exhausts me let alone to excercise! Do you feel this way, too? I can barely make it through a part-time job during the week, by the time I get home I have no energy and am in so much pain I can't do the things I need to do much less the things I like to do. It is so depressing- No FUN in the life of a FM/CFS patient. I know many of you would give anything for the few hours I do get without pain- I can't imagine- so what do we do to help make our lives with FM/CFS a little more bearable???? I try to live day to day rather than look to the future but that tends to be hard to do- I am afraid to plan anything or look forward to anything not knowing how I am going to feel that day or if I am even able to get out of bed.I used to take pride in my home but I am unable to take care of it the way I would like, things just don't get done. I used to look forward to going to bed and sleeping but now I dread it every night- I can't sleep-I can't even get relief from the pain by going to bed! I can't read, I have alot of trouble with memory and concentration. I can't watch T.V. for very long, I get uncomfortable and can't sit still very long. Tell me- how is this not depressing?????? I am not living, I am barely surviving!
    Debbie
  2. Pinky

    Pinky New Member

    How do you all cope with the reality of this syndrome and the way it makes you feel, the pain it puts you in and how it changes your life? How do you cope with the depression-the fact that you will never be the same again, that you can't do the things you need and love to do? Just going to visit my kids or having them here for dinner or even just going to the movies exhausts me let alone to excercise! Do you feel this way, too? I can barely make it through a part-time job during the week, by the time I get home I have no energy and am in so much pain I can't do the things I need to do much less the things I like to do. It is so depressing- No FUN in the life of a FM/CFS patient. I know many of you would give anything for the few hours I do get without pain- I can't imagine- so what do we do to help make our lives with FM/CFS a little more bearable???? I try to live day to day rather than look to the future but that tends to be hard to do- I am afraid to plan anything or look forward to anything not knowing how I am going to feel that day or if I am even able to get out of bed.I used to take pride in my home but I am unable to take care of it the way I would like, things just don't get done. I used to look forward to going to bed and sleeping but now I dread it every night- I can't sleep-I can't even get relief from the pain by going to bed! I can't read, I have alot of trouble with memory and concentration. I can't watch T.V. for very long, I get uncomfortable and can't sit still very long. Tell me- how is this not depressing?????? I am not living, I am barely surviving!
    Debbie
  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    You didn't say how long you have been sick or diagnosed and it's not in your profile, so I'm not sure how my answer will be received.

    It's very easy to get depressed if one dwells on what is lost and if one believes that it will be like this for the rest of one's life. This is not always the case. I'm not saying it is easy, but many of us have found treatments which have improved our lives. This is done through education, trial and error, and having docs who will accommodate requests for treatment. We do have a lot more control and options than it appears on the surface.

    There is more research today than ever before on the whole family of immune and autoimmune illnesses. This, combined with the mapping of the human genome, is reason to hope.

    As long as one fights against the current, no progress is made. It is only when acceptance happens that one is able to go with the flow and learn to live the best lifestyle possible despite our illnesses. This is accomplished by grief therapy and working through the stages of loss.

    At the same time, we need to treat our symptoms, starting with the worst one first. If our docs aren't helping us, we need to find new docs. We also need to destress our lives as much as possible.

    Is any of this easy? Absolutely not, but what are the alternatives? We have to reach waaaaay down inside to find the courage and desire to meet the challenges we face. Many of us have had silver-lining-type rewards along the way. It is easier if we believe that there is a reason we have our illnesses in our lives and that by meeting the challenges, we will grow stronger spiritually, which is what this life is all about.

    I pray that you are able to rise above the depression and find the help you deserve. Bless you.

    Love, Mikie
  4. toots2

    toots2 New Member

    With an antidepressant. I can't even imagine how I would feel without it. Don't want to know either. Toots
  5. GoDaleJr

    GoDaleJr New Member

    and so do many of us on here. So you're not alone.
    And I often wonder the same thing. But I was talking to my sister last night and she said she won't let herself think about things because it does get her depressed. And all the people in my life who just won't try to understand what I am going thru are the same way. They don't let it get to them. I know, easier said than done, but it is true.
    If there is anything you can do to get your mind off the pain, then do it. I have pain and anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication, but I don't take it all the time. Only when I really really need it. Do you have any kind of pain medication or anti-depressant medication? I suggest you get some from your doctor.
    I used to spend a lot of time thinking every day. Thinking how I hate my life and it will never be the same and I will never be able to do things like I used to. And how I feel so helpless and misunderstood by my doctors and no one believes I am in pain because I don't look like it. blah blah blah.
    It is really unhealthy to be thinking negative thoughts all the time. Try thinking of positive stuff. Like if you won the lottery, what you would do with all that money. Or think of the happy times you had in your life and dwell on those. You'll be surprised at how much more energized you will feel after doing positive thinking. You have to start small and do baby steps. Even with exercise..and work your way up.
    This is what I am doing to help save my sanity and my body. I hope you find some help in what I am saying.
    Take care and know that we are here for you...always.
    Good luck,
    ~Gina