How Do You Find A Passion or Purpose With This DD?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by greatgran, Nov 25, 2008.

  1. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    I have CFIDS , FM second and keep a sinus infection, along with the anxiety and depression . The first couple of years I was mainly in bed and housebound, then started to feel like getting out some and was trying to care for my 2 greatgrans and do some church work which gave me a meaning to my life.

    Since March I have felt so bad its like all this DD is starting over and I have been mainly in the bed and housebound again. Had to give up keeping my greatgrans which breaks my heart because they need me as much as I need them.

    Guess my family is my passion and purpose but all they see is me lying around and feeling bad, when I feel this way I don't want to be around anyone or anyone see me. My poor husband.

    I just can't seem to get it together and find a meaning to anything anymore. Its much worse with this darn sinus infection and the antibotics make me so sick I am trying to ride it out. My whole body aches, my ears ring with this darn sinus.

    Thanks, I needed to vent.

    God Bless,

  2. CanBrit

    CanBrit Member

    I guess we both needed to vent at the same time. My post was within 5 minutes of yours. I wish I could explain you why things seem to be so much worse this year but I don't know why. A few other people I know with FM are having a terrible time this year.

    I guess we have to keep hoping and praying that tomorrow, next week, next year, will bring a better day. I have 5 lovely grandboys, 4 who live 6 hours away and 1 only a half hour away. I love my boys dearly. They sure do exhaust me when they come up, but I'm surely looking forward to Xmas when we'll all be together.

    I sure hope they're prepared to give lots of help.

    My best to you Greatgran. I hope you have better days soon.


  3. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Still searching for that purpose....... I don't know if that's what I'll find, I'll probably find some blessings along the way and they might only be in retrospect.

    I especially relate to your third paragraph - laying around, feeling bad and not wanting anyone to see you. I apologize so often for "looking like this", for "feeling like this", because I hate it. Thank goodness for the wonderful husband I have (and family), who encourage me to rest.

    I don't know what's happened to me. I know that mentally, I'm not fighting like I should be that's for sure. In my 'moments' of normalcy, I am so strong, then I retreat when my body takes over.

    I'm sorry you have such trouble with your sinus infections - that must be just awful. I can't imagine. I know you're hurting. I wish I could be there for you - in person!! But I do understand.

  4. tut90

    tut90 Member

    I know how you are feeling, not wanting to be around people when you are in so much pain, I do feel like that sometimes, but I've noticed that everytime I'm around my family I do feel better, and for a while I forget about my pain.

    I have two daughters and five granddaughters. One of my daughters comes over at least once a week and helps me clean the house and does most of the cooking when I'm in too much pain. Her oldest daughter stays with my husband and I a few times during the week, she helps out around the house and makes me laugh all the time, I adore her.

    I hope you start feeling better soon.


  5. pearls

    pearls New Member

    I understand your frustration. Finding meaning to anything is difficult for anyone who is getting older and whose own children have grown up. Mine live in cities 200 miles away, one to the north and the other to the south.

    However, I have found several outlets for myself, and I will discuss one with you here: genealogy, also called family history.

    I have been working on my family history, as well as that of my daughters-in-law, and my sisters-in-law. There is always plenty to do, and it is so very exciting when someone in the family finds new relatives because of me or who begin to understand their roots because of the work I do.

    Because of computers, finding new relatives is much easier than it was back in the snail-mail days. When I find new relatives these days, I often get the gift of photos of common ancestors. Either that, or I can share mine.

    You'll need genealogy software, or you can begin a family tree online at a site such as Ancestry. Those kinds of sites can also give you online instruction on how to start. But I'll give you a few hints:

    1) Gather everything you can find in your house that might give you clues to your family, such as letters; photos; Christmas letters; diaries; family Bibles; membership cards; documents for marriages, births, divorces or deaths; church bulletins mentioning family members; scrapbooks; photo albums; autograph books.

    2) Chart your family beginning with yourself and work backwards by full maiden names, birthdates and places, marriage dates and places, and death dates and places. Software will provide the format for these or you can purchase paper family group sheets and pedigree charts.

    3) Include the brothers and sisters.

    This has been very rewarding to me, and I can do this whenever I feel like I'm up to it, or I can walk away from it for as long as I want. I find purpose in this because having a family history gives people a sense of place in the world, and gives our family members something to talk about besides the weather.

    Perhaps that can help you.


  6. Slayadragon

    Slayadragon New Member

    It sounds to me like you're taking the antibiotics for the sinus infection.

    If so, that could be a mistake. Even the Mayo Clinic (the most conservative health organization around) says that a very high percentage of sinus infections are caused by fungal infections.

    If yours is a fungal infection, the antibiotics would be making it worse.

    Unfortunately, many doctors have no understanding of the fact that sinus infections can be caused by things other than bacteria, and keep giving the antibiotics. Why they all missed this particular study, I don't know.

    If your doctor isn't familiar with the role of fungal sinus infections (especially amongst people like CFS'ers who are inclined to candida infections in general), I'd look for a new doctor. There's no way for people to treat your properly if they don't know what's going on.

    Another route is to use colloidal silver to attempt to get the sinus infection under control yourself.

    I found that colloidal silver nasal spray works really well. Use several times a day in each nostril. (This can be found at health food stores.)

    Colloidal silver is antiseptic and thus kills whatever it comes into contact with. That's a reason not to use too much internally (consumed orally), since you want good bacteria to grow in the intestines. You don't want anything growing in your sinuses though, and so using it there is fine.

    The package directions will say something like don't take it for more than a few weeks. That's just so that you go to the doctor if there's a real problem. Of course, in your case it sounds like the doctors aren't helping and might be hurting, and so if the colloidal silver works I'd stay with it.

    Colloidal silver kills bacterial as well as fungal sinus infections, by the way. I've not had huge amounts of success with most supplements used by CFS patients, but this was an exception for me.

    A dozen or so people in history have turned grey as a result of taking colloidal silver orally. This always was a) after multiple cups daily over a number of years and b) with a homemade solution. Squiring a tiny amount of a commercial solution in your nose does not present a risk of your turning grey (or blue).

    I'd also consider looking at the gut for candida infections. If you have a candida infection of the gut, it eventually will spread to the sinuses.

    For internal candida (yeast/fungal) infections, consider: no-sugar and no-flour diet; herbs (oregano oil, goldenseal, pau d'arco, citrus seed extract, etc.); high-dose probiotics (my doctor, Dale Guyer M.D., makes a good one; google his name for the pharmacy store). Nystatin or ampothericin-b could be used if necessary.

    Save Diflucan and other systemic antifungals for "emergencies"; they can stop working if used too much. (If you can't get the sinus infection under control any other way though, you could try them as an experiment. Usually a day or two of Diflucan will do it, if it's really a fungal one. Expect a relapse when withdrawn if you're not taking other measures.)

    Good luck.

  7. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    If you can find one tiny thing you can do, even the smallest thing like paper folding crafts, it helps. And you don't have to be really passionate about it, just do it to take your mind off your symptoms for a little while.

    I've spent the last twelve years or so making gaming files. When I write codes and work the files, I am only concentrating on that, so for that time I don't have to think about all the pain and suffering. And I do it in my own time when I'm feeling up to it.

    Everyone has a hidden talent. It's just finding what that is. Even if you feel you don't have one, try something tiny. There are many things that can be done from the bed, even scrapbooking if you keep all your stuff nearby. And even if you can only do one tiny thing in a day, it helps.

    That's how I've gotten by. On bad days, I do nothing. I just sit or lay around, watch tv if I can. But on better days, I try to do small things.
  8. goog1212

    goog1212 New Member

    I have found my purpose and my passion, and it is helping others with health problems!

    At age 35, I went back to school and am now a full time grad student to become a Physician Assistant. It took 5 years of getting prereqs and fulfilling other admissions criteria, but I finally made it and was accepted into one of the most prestigious (and demanding!) programs in the country. Only 34 people made it into the program out of 400 applicants this year!

    I firmly believe what got me in was the passion and the determination I expressed during my interview. They could (hopefully) see that my purpose in life is to help heal others, and they accepted me.

    Now, I would not be able to meet the physical and mental demands this very tough program has without the medication regimen I have been on for the past year! Summer of 2007 was awful for me. I was completely bedridden, incapacitated. In November, I saw a fibro specialist who has changed my life. I won't say I'm "cured", but my flares are a lot less frequent and last a lot less time, so that allows me to deal with the rigors of school.

    In turn, being in school and walking around and doing rounds at the hospital makes me move and that keeps my joints and muscles loose and strong, which adds to the wellbeing. And the feeling of pursuing my dream and of helping others is like medicine for my soul, too!

    Find your passion, and follow your dreams, whether as a job or as a hobby! It will definitely have a big impact on your soul, which perhaps will translate into a positive impact on your body!
  9. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    I'm teaching my dad how to use a laptop. That's been one of my big projects lately (big for me). It's been really rewarding and he's very appreciative. It's nice spending more time with him too. :)

    I have to constantly readjust and often drop my projects and hobbies because of these DDs as well as I continue to get worse all the time. When I can barely do anything sometimes I go into Chat here and that can be relaxing and fun and it surprises me because I usually think I don't have the energy for it. You should try it if you haven't. It can be a real boost.

    My biggest focus is just trying to do my best every day. That's it. I tell God, "This is my best and you and I know it," and that makes me feel a little better. I'm always hopeful for a brighter future for us all.

    Hugs and Happy Thanksgiving.


    [This Message was Edited on 12/01/2008]
  10. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    Sounds like you need some heavy duty antibiotics to knock out that sinus infection. Have you ever been checked by a ENT doctor so see if you have something else going on, like nasal polyps. They have advanced so much in treating sinus problems with laser, etc.

    Sinus trouble can make you feel sick all over. Maybe you can find a really good doctor to help. They also have those Neti Pots you can use to cleanse your sinuses with sterilized saline solution. It is really supposed to help but I would not do it before consulting a doctor - you might drive the infection further in your sinuses.

    I hope you are feeling better soon.

  11. lynn3811

    lynn3811 New Member

    Last week a friend gave me a cane to use. It was hand-painted vibrant blue on the handle, and the long part was painted was painted red and white vertically. I am just as proud to be American as the next person.

    But this was a little toooooo flashy for me. So, i started to sand the whole thing down. Underneath all the red and white paint was a small flower with a vine winding along it. Surprise!! Well, it took me most of the afternoon to finish. I put some Min-wax sealant on the whole thing, and it is so pretty and delicate looking.

    Just doing this small thing made me really happy. I paid for it the next day thou. My hands hurt soooo bad. But this unexpected surprise gave me alot of pride in myself. I was able to do this thing all by myself.

    Sometimes the smallest things can lift your spirits.

    Greatgran, hugs to you.

  12. MsE

    MsE New Member

    Good morning to you! For several months I've stayed away from this site because it had some major changes that I had trouble using. But today I decided to take another look, and when I saw your name, I figured all was not lost!

    We have been through several years of ups and downs with this stuff, and I'm sorry you are experiencing another downer. Me, too. You wrote "I just can't seem to get it together and find a meaning to anything anymore." I know, I know, I know!

    I have a new great grandbaby, and I haven't seen him yet. Will have to wait until Dec. 21 when I have a ride because driving is just as bad as it was a couple of years ago.

    Maybe it is the Christmas season that makes being housebound and sofa bound so much of the time especially difficult. I tried to keep up with two of my daughters the day after Thanksgiving. Yeah. Sure. Now I'm paying for it. Why try? Desperate for company, I guess.

    I'm glad I saw your post. The longer I have this stuff, the harder it is to find someone who will put up with even minor venting. I'm glad this board is still functioning. Looks a bit different from the last time I visited. That time I went away disgusted.

    Warm hugs to you and I hope you feel better soon...your friend, MsE
  13. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Sorry, I haven't replied to your post but have been mostly in the bed, just didn't feel like getting on the computer.

    I can't seem to get back on my feet after this crash or whatever I have. Its been about 4 months now.

    MsE, so good to hear from you, I do hope to write more later.

    Jam, thank you for missing me.

    I am not sure what is going on with me, the sinus thing can't seem to shake, my legs ache so bad from my hips to my thighs, then my whole body aches but not like my legs. Guess I am falling apart . I keep hoping each day I get up that this will slack up but so far not much improvement.

    Thanks and love to all will write more when my body lets me.


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