How do you handle stress ?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Fudge43, Jul 21, 2006.

  1. Fudge43

    Fudge43 New Member

    Stress has such a physical impact on me .. hits me like a giant hammer .. especially with my older cat being so ill .. her time limited .. I can't seem to ward off the constant worry of everything.
    How do you control it or at least keep it at bay, for a while, for down time ?
    All thoughts and ideas appreciated !
    Joy : )
  2. cymbeline

    cymbeline New Member

    Have a look at the leaflet on stress, you might find some ideas in it.
    Hope it's useful.
  3. kriket

    kriket New Member

    Have you tried CBT (cognitive behavior therapy)? It helps you think of things in a different way, a more positive way. The therapist can help to reprogram your mind in a way to deal with stress. I think it is worth a try.

  4. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I am so stressed right now that I feel like I as as tight as a drum. And this stress is not going to go away.

    I have 3 daughters 2 are married and one is not and is a naanny. Last night was a bad night as my oldest called me in hyesterics that she is not doing any thing right , she is not happy and fears that she is pushing her husband away.

    For me stress is like having the roof fall in on you and you can't get out from underit. And my pain is worse as it is so flippen HOT that I cna't think straight at all, my pain is worse and my feeling are right at the surface and I will break in to tears any minute now. I didn't get enogh sleep last nigt as my dughter had a panic attack and was crying for a hour or more. I am so tired that nothing makes any scence to me now.
    I am going to go and lay down and see if in a while the workld will straight ,
    Sorry for all the tears and mni===misunderstanding tingI hae written, HUGs to all as my and my stress are going to lay down.

    Rosemarie[This Message was Edited on 07/21/2006]
  5. ckball

    ckball New Member

    I let out a big ole AARRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHGGG then I eat lots of ice cream:) Stress is the worst thing for us.

    There really is truth in the power of positive thinking. But it takes one hour at a time at first.

    I am sorry to hear about your kitty. I lost my 15 year old Bubbus this past March. Cherish what time you have with your baby. When you feel stressed, scoop her up and tell her how you feel.

    When i get real stressed I just veg out with the tv and pet my critters. We can't solve every problem in the world and you have to let go of what you have no control and have faith it will work out the way it was meant to be.

    That's how I do it-hang in there -Carla
  6. Connie3

    Connie3 New Member


    Stress devastates me as well. I am going through so much personal change and pain right now that I thought for a while I was losing my mind. I do several things that seem to help. First of all, I believe getting my hormones a little better balanced has helped immensely. The FCC in Dallas has me on estrogen cream, testerone, and progesterone. I have also been on lexapro which really helped for a while, but just seemed to quit. So I am weaning off of that. I listen to positive affirmations whenever I drive, or listen to something motivational and positive. I read everything I can get my hands on about trying to understand my situation and how I have made the choices I've made. I go to a wonderful psychologist on and off and this has been a Godsend. I take .5 xanax and 50 mg. trazondone at night which usually lets me have fairly restful sleep. Other than that, I think diet is really important. Seems like my body everacts severely to stress and it has been a struggle to find what works.
    I wish you love and God's blessings. This message board is such a blessing, too!

  7. AnneTheresa

    AnneTheresa Member

    I avoid stress as much as possible. Since leaving the workplace and letting go of several toxic relationships, I've managed, for the most part to take myself out of the line of fire. The inevitable life stressors that still reach me are dealt with by
    - talking to a friend
    - prayer, giving it to God
    - not taking on trouble that doesn't belong to me
    - trying to rise above the situation
    - long walks, hot showers
    - using CBT techniques (no generalizations, no black and white thinking, no catastrophizing etc,)
    - take it one day at a time

    Also during stressful times, I pay particular attention to my own needs and take extra good care of myself.

    I'm sorry to hear your cat is ill - that kind of stress is particularly hard to deal with.

    God bless,
    Anne Theresa
  8. keke466

    keke466 New Member

    They are right. Stress is a killer. I've been under so much stress with personal issues lately that I've had chest pains for 3 days now. I personally can't give any advice on how to handle it cause we're all different. I haven't been sleeping well either which makes ya feel worse. I have xanax but I try not to take it very often but think I'm gonna have to,to calm myself down so I can sleep. Life is so stressfull in general.

    Take care,Keke
  9. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    have good suggestions. Cognitive therapy. New ways of thinking. More accurate ways. Instead of "My life is ruined" or "Everything always goes wrong", wouldn't it be more accurate to think: this is a tough patch right now, but I know things will be better again soon?

    And yes, life is much less stressful when you don't have to work anymore.

    Exercise is also good, but of course, most of us can't exercise anymore.
  10. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I recently gave my husband a list to look at while he's at work and stressing.

    Chit Happens...

    So when it does, it's important to remember a few things...

    * Can I control any part of the situation?
    * What part do I play? Can I improve upon it?
    * If it's out of my control, what do I have control over?
    * Can I control my reactions better?
    * Did I do the best that I could?
    * Did I learn anything from the situation?
    * Should I have learned something?
    * Did I handle myself with dignity and others with respect?
    * Was I the best I could be today?
    * Do my loved ones love me?
    * Now that's important!!

    This was written for his stressful situations at work that he's facing and recently his work has gotten a whole lot more stressful, but you can change it around and see if it helps.

    Nancy B.
    [This Message was Edited on 07/21/2006]
  11. Fudge43

    Fudge43 New Member

    Each one of you have had important and useful things to say about my question .. I appreciate the responses VERY much .. Thank you !

    I have never thought "my life is ruined" .. all I thought most times is "how the heck am I going to get through this and survive!" .. so really .. stress tips are truly survival techniques basically ? ... surviving a bad time in our life .. the problem is they seem to happen more frequently .. and I am less able to get back on the horse and ride through it .. sorry .. must sound a bit silly .. but it really explains it !
    We all suffer from it so often .. it is difficult to get a handle on it .. and with all that is wrong with us physically it stomps us badly.

    I have another question for the animal lovers help .. this is really hard to even type it out .. when it comes time to put my little beauty to sleep .. I am so conflicted about being there for her .. I'm so sick inside with this coming .. I want to be there for her yet I'm frightened to death she is going to sense my sorrow and fear .. and that it will make her more upset .. I just don't know what to do ?
    Can anyone help me understand what might be best ? .. any sad experience going through this ?
    Thanks again to you all !
  12. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    ask for a pre-med injection first and that will calm Molly down.

    30 years ago I handed my cat over to a vet to be put to sleep and I still regret it......I know it's paranoid but I wonder, did he do it right away, did he hand her over for experiments......I know thats totally unethical but I just wish I had been there with her.

    I've had 3 pets put to sleep since then and I make sure I'm there talking to them.

    You're right to consider this now so you are prepared.

  13. Fudge43

    Fudge43 New Member

    Rosie ... yes ... I know what you mean .. we think of all the terrible possiblities .. it is such a massive amount of worry we go through .
  14. Dainty45

    Dainty45 New Member

    I do a lot of crossword puzzles to relax, I also play games on the computer, they seem to relax me and keep my mind off of things. I also like taking a hot bath, for about an half an hour, it is very relaxing. Try to deal with things as they come up, but don't dwell on things. We can only do so much in a stressful situation. I also take a ride in the car with my music pumped up, that relaxes me. I don't drive to far though, because that would cause pain, but a little bit is good!!

    Good Luck!! Just chill!!! SB
  15. ckball

    ckball New Member

    Sometimes if you listen, they will tell you when they are ready.

    My dear Bubbus, my ex named him, spent 15 years with me. He was HIV pos at 2 after a night out with the boys. He came home with a bad bite on the paw.

    We had him fixed and he became an inside cat, oh what a hard time that was, wheww he did not like that and was a very verbal kittie.

    When my ex and I splilt he came him with me because he was not allowed to keep him. Then it was 10 years just me and him.

    I moved to an area with a big yard and let him out again, he no longer roamed but stayed at home up in his favorite tree or on the roof becuase the branches hung over the house.

    Many times he was there for me when I was sick with cancer and what ever I was going thru.

    The last few months he started losing weight and not looking good. I knew what was going on but couldn't bare to take him to the vet for fear of what he would do.

    One evening, while the dogs were out he came to me and wanted some attention which I always gave. We cuddled awhile then he went back to his bed.

    The next morning I got up and found him laying in the kitchen floor, at first I thought or hoped he was asleep.
    But he was gone :( I still miss him so and so does smitten.

    She has become reclusive even more than she use to.

    I have only had to put one animal down and it was a sweet little kitty named Stripe, he had feline leukemia. My daughter was 12 then and we sat with him because we did not want him to be alone.

    I know how hard this must be for you. You don't want them to suffer but you don't want them to leave either.

    As I said last night, spend all the time you can with her and she will let you know when it is time. Carla
  16. Fudge43

    Fudge43 New Member

    ... I was really touched by your experiemce .. thank you so much ! .. I have gone through some hard times .. but this is really tugging at me so badly .. I'm lucky to have support from my husband and son .. but I do so appreciate the support here so much !
    ck .. you are special and your little souls around you know it !
  17. 1975jet

    1975jet New Member

    Stress - it can be such a difficult thing for anyone to try and find that happier medium- somedays I can beat almost beat it and somedays I just have to lay down and take a Xanax to relax... It is a challege.

    It seems when I get more stressed is when the pain gets worse. I had to stop working last year do to breaking down- mind and body. Now I am trying to take a day at a time but when stress hits hard it is like a bomb hit.

    This board has given me alot of great info. and I am so glad I can come here and get the encouragement from you all.

    Bless all of you beautiful and kind people..

  18. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    My body has fallen apart! Guess that says it all.

    I stuff until I drop....and I dropped a long time ago but continue to stuff and continue to fall apart.

    Will I learn? No, I don't think so. I'll just continue until I drop permanently.

    Anyone else like this? Haven't done it right and don't have the energy to learn to handle it right.

    Funny when you really think about a very sad kind of way.
  19. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    Regarding the question with your kitty, I'll share my experiences and maybe they'll help you decide.

    First time we put our dog down was due to an error with a neuter/teeth removal surgery in Hawaii. I cried for 3 hours in the vet's office before signing the papers. (4# dog lost half his body weight and functions)

    But I couldn't be in the room for it, nor could hubby. (about 15 years ago)

    Second time was about 5 yrs ago...our cat of 9 years was very sick and had been for 2 years. Vet care was very iffy in Bahrain and we made the difficult decision to put her down.

    Each of us had a job, I took her to the vet and held her while the doc gave her the shots, held her while she died....Daughter cleaned the house of her bowls and things etc...Hubby buried her at the Tree of Life, we all played our part and it helped.

    Then a few months after that I was at the vet with my pup when a man and his son were there with a beautiful, big white Persian cat and I knew they were discussing putting the cat down.

    The discussion went on for a long time (can't remember why I was there now) but eventually the man and his son left. The cat was still there in the other room with the vet and the techs.

    I asked if I could hold the cat. They thought I was nuts, but I assured them that I knew what was going to happen and I wanted someone to be there for the cat telling him what a good boy he'd been and how much his family loved him (but couldn't be there, because I DID understand)

    They let me, so I held this wonderful boy and helped him go. (He had a broken back) I told them I wanted someone there for the cat, not just the tech you know what I mean?

    Anyway, nobody can make the choice but you'll know when it's right. Whichever way you do it, people should understand, I know I do cause I've been there.


    Nancy B.
  20. Fudge43

    Fudge43 New Member

    Nancy .. thank you for your experience. I cried so much yesterday I have on heck of a headache this morning .. but I wanted to say I appreciated your story.

    I so want to be there and my friends think I should be too.
    I am going to do this the right way for Molly .. we are lucky to have a couple of wonderful vets .. so compassionate is our young woman vet .. I want it to be quiet and loving for her .. I'm going to do my best.

    Thanks to all of you again for responding !

    Nancy .. thank you .. reading what you have gone through helps !

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