How do you handle stressful times?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by fibrohugslife, Jun 3, 2006.

  1. fibrohugslife

    fibrohugslife New Member

    My question is how you hand stressful moments or times?

    I see that for myself stress is so hard for me to handle and then my CFS, IBS and Fibro act up and then I am on a downward spiral to pain and fatigue and all bad with with those illnesses.

    I do not handle stress very well, and I would like to learn how to handle it when stress moments arise. I see this as one of the main steps in helping me to get better.

    Please tell me how do you handle this? Or are there special things that you do?

    Thanks!
    [This Message was Edited on 06/04/2006]
  2. im much the same as you fibrohugslife.i havent yet mastered how to handle stress.

    i went to a pain management course last year.they learned us to lay down on the bed,eyes shut,relax and picture in our mind nice things...then back to reality...all the people who live near my house have noisy kids/dogs/lawn mowers/drills...theres no peaceful room in my house in which to lay down and relax fully.

    i try the slow deep breathing i was learned to do,even that doesnt work in stressful moments (often caused by other people)

    so sadly,at this moment in time,i have no answer to your question.

    i do however emediately take myself away from the person or noise that is making me so stressed out,and i wont even look back as i leave.but now im kind of becoming the recluse i was at the begining of me being aware i even had this illness.ive gone full circle,and still no cure.

    kind regards
    fran
  3. fibrohugslife

    fibrohugslife New Member

    I don't know if I will ever become a Master at handling stress.

    I know that I have tried to lay down and block everyone out but have a hard time concentrating.

    The same thing for my home, there is not a quiet room in the house. I am either dealing with my neighbor revving up his motorcycles and talking loudly with his friends, the airshows to go on over here, and the list goes on.

    I believe I will keep trying what you do is trust trying to lay down and relax and block everyone out.

    I learned tonight to move away from stressful situation and found a better seat to sit in.

    Thank you Fran!
  4. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    I've realized that it's not the people or situations that stress me out but rather my reaction to those people or situations.

    I've been trying to locate a CBT therapist nearby but I may for now try to find the tapes that Prickles is using.

    Another thing I've done - over and over, I'll admit but it works when I do it - is to resign as Manager of the Universe. When I don't feel so doggoned responsible to make the world as I know it right, stressful feelings are less frequent.

    My role in life has always been The Repair Kid/Lady: with my parents, with my ex, with jobs, with the community. I'm good at it. Although I made good money doing it at work, the other "jobs" I've given myself only made me sick.

    For that reason I've recently decided to let go of my 38 and 40 year-old sons' problems which they love to bring to me. I'm learning to say Awwwwwww and Hmmmmmm and You sound upset and Wow. When they persist, I have a call I have to return.

    Don't get me wrong; I love my kids and grandkids beyond measure and, as they say, I'd "take a bullet for them" but I cannot give my life for them in this way, tiny pieces at a time.

    (You realize, of course, that this was a pep talk for myself as much as hopeful information for you....lol)

    Hugs to all Managers of the Universe,
    Marta
  5. Empower

    Empower New Member

    I don't

    Stress is a HUGE problem for me


  6. dumdum

    dumdum New Member


    I cut out the stress in my life that I knew I was no coping with. Shopping, cooking meals and when the kids became demanding all these were stressfull to me.

    I am lucky and have a husband who understands and takes on these roles to allow me to cope. We are lucky to be in a situation where we help each other, he can not work due to ongoing back problems and I can work but only with his full support running the house etc.

    We moved house to a quite area because noisy neighbours were very hard to contend with especially when I sleep most weekends to regain my energy levels.

    I miss having friends as whenever I make a lunch date etc this must cause stress, have not worked out why but I end up sick almost everytime and friends get sick of me constantly letting them down. Just something I will have to work through and try to explain though it is tough as its hard to expect anyone to understand.
  7. ohmygoodness

    ohmygoodness New Member

    Today as I was trying to relax my feet for a custom orthotic the nurse kept telling me to relax, she can't get a proper cast if I don't relax. Meanwhile she's pressing on the pad of my feet and it HURTS, as does my feet in general, my hips and back this day. She wants me to relax?????? I said well if we could do this at night when I have some med in me maybe that'll work. She said I should try Zen. I told the foot doc when he came back to check the mold that I wasn't a good patient as I did not RELAX well. I wanted to hit her. I am a type A personality I am anal. I have even been getting better at this, I really try. I starting taking Paxil for the serotonin uptake business about my pain awareness. I felt that maybe my co-workers ought to try doing their job better and maybe I wouldn't feel like I had to do everything, they wanted me to "role release" which I tried once and they didn't pick up the slack. so I resented going on a med to take MY edge off. I am a special educator I went from preschool to autism to functional children all at the preschool, k-1 level where all parents are in denial and think their kids are going to be cured. I have to be very diplomatic I use all my patience for my students and their parents. Then my principal thinks I need to have better relations with the district people to which I said I use all my patience where I need to use it, they make more money than I do if they can't hack it maybe they need a new job. I have a special needs son, I am not taking out of my hat here. I still go through the Kubler-Ross stages and my kid's 23. I am now moving to 2nd/3rd more academic kids - not so many issues. I hope it helps my stress at least I won't have to lean over so far or be on my knees at their desks or manage physical outbursts...
    I want to teach special ed, I want to teach, If I did not have fibro and all I would stay with autism, but it is too physically and mentally draining on me. OH well, is this handling stress, maybe a little I don't know. I would be decidely less stressed if I did not have this fibro and its various wonderful concomittent STUFF. If I can get the pain down to a reasonable level again, I think I need to do something about this. But I was never a "just fall back and let your partner catch you person..." God help me. Sleeping helps now, if I can sleep well it helps. Good luck.
  8. jess

    jess New Member

    Hi, I too can't handle stress. In fact my parents died 5 months within each other 2 years ago and I am still stressed out from that. Now my husband is sick and I relapsed the next day. I have used Transcendental Meditation in the past but now I find I can't sit quiet because I am too stressed out. I may try the Paul Mckenna tapes too. Jess
  9. TxSongBird

    TxSongBird New Member

    and always have since I was a child. I was taught by my Mother that I was to be the mediator in the family, the one to set it all right. That put a huge burden on me and I will never forget that moment when she told me that. I have had lots of psychotherapy in my lifetime to deal with stress and feeling as though I had to fix everything and everyone. Now at 48, I can deal a little better with the stress that is thrown at me. I use to freak out at the slightest thing that would set me over the edge, but now I try and stay calm and remember, this too shall pass.

    TxSongBird