How do you handle this kind of frustration?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Adl123, May 4, 2006.

  1. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Hello,
    All of us are limited in our activities. Usually, I think, we can muddle through disappontments and loss, and keep on trudgiing on.

    But, today, it hit me like a ton on bricks - the frusration of not being able to just go out and have fun. I have never been a sporty or camping person. I've always painted or taken short trips, for fun. Now I have the opportunity to take a workshop with a wonderful artist who has come up from Southern California to a place "only" 3 1/2 hours away. It's like dangling a carrot in front of a starving rabbit!

    I know I can't go - Heck, I can barely drive to any location mmore than 20 minutes away!and I have't been able to paint for almost a year. Yet, illogically, I'm frustrated at not beng able to do those things I promised myself I would do when I retired.

    I don't mean to whine - but I guess I am. Just goes to show, that one shoud make hay while the sun shines, If an opportunity come us for you to do something you love, and you can somehow manage to do it, then do it. No one knows what will happen to us as we get older.

    Thanks for letting me vent. I'm surely glad you're here.

    Gratefully,
    Terry
  2. KMD90603

    KMD90603 New Member

    I don't think it's possible not to become frustrated with this disease. I often get frustrated because there's other people in nursing school with me who also have kids and work and they are able to function. But whenever I have any little bit of free time to myself, I just crash and can barely even walk.

    With any illness like this, it takes a piece of you away. There are inevitably things that you can no longer do. And of course that's frustrating. But, I try to find other things to compensate. No, I can not longer go outside and run around with my son for 2 hours. But, I can take him to the park and watch him running around, having fun with the other kids, while I relax on the bench. I'm still there with him, and he's still having fun, but it's a lot easier on me and my body.

    So, going to this workshop at this point may not be an option or you, but try to find something else instead that would be less taxing on you.

    Gentle healing hugs. I hope this helps.

    Kim
  3. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    I built up a reputation as a doll designer and was highly collected, and I cannot even touch clay now! I really understand that frustration.

    I was wondering if you have anyone who could drive you. I cannot drive more than about 20 mins either due mostly to anxiety on roads. Is there any art organisation that could provide you with a driver? How do you find out who else from your area is going? could you place an ad"Disabled artist looking for a ride(share expenses) to .... workshop" or maybe the organisers could let you have names of people who are also going, or at least contact them for you.

    I bet the artit herself would want to help. Even though you can no longer paint I do think that you want to go.

    I wish you luck and give you hugs.

    Love Anne C
  4. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    My thoughts exactly.Sorry,I have no advise except we have to live within out limitations..I still haven't learned how.

    Know what you mean about being able to go and do..My grandson is 3 hrs away in college, this is his last week and I want to go so bad and he is begging me to come and see the school as I have told him I would but only in my dreams have I been..

    Wish I had something more positive to say...

    God Bless,
    greatgran
  5. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Terry:
    I envisioned my retirement differently also. I was going to travel and enjoy life. Unfortunately it turned out to be something like yours. I look at brochures of places I would have liked to go to, but ultimately throw them away.

    It is frustrating. I handle by thinking: this is the hand I was dealt and I will have to live as happily as I can with it.

    nyrofan
  6. Jordane

    Jordane New Member

    That is so awfull.To have a chance to go do something you love,and not well enough to go!!:>(

    I had planed to work for a few more yrs.Even after my hubby retires(2yrs).But I am lucky if I get my housework done,let alone wrk.I gave up last yr.

    And I feel SO guilty because I am not bringing in any money to help with bills and such.I feel so lazy!!! Tell myself to get over it!!!Go to wrk.

    But this DD.,fixed it so I cant.:>(

    And we are allowed to whine, to vent, it feels so unfair!!

    Take Care!
    Jordane
  7. 6cats

    6cats New Member

    Yes the frustration can become overbearing!!! Here I am turning 42 this month and my body feels a completely different age! I am also a doll artist and that is one of the things that keeps me going. I may not be able to do as much, but I still do it. And I still go to National Conventions every year. And I am soooo tired half the time but seeing all of my friends is worth it. This yr has been extremely hard as the marriage has been declining and the therapy and the stress has made the fibro worse. So yes I get what you are all saying!
  8. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Terry, like you, I had great plans for my retirement - and my life! Now a trip to the library is actually exciting.

    I guess we need to face that sometimes life just isn't fair but it's still up to us to (usually) make the best of it. And, please, don't blame yourself for expressing your frustration. We need to do that.

    (You might enjoy reading Letters to Sam by Daniel Goetlieb.)

    Marta
  9. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    for your support and helpful ideas. I'm sorry others are going through this, too, but it helps to know I'm not alone.'

    I can't tell you how much I appreciate you.
    Big hugs,
    Terry
  10. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    or not, do your best to not give up on your painting. It is so beneficial as a temporary pain relief in that it can take you away from it for awhile.
    I see quads painting with their mouths, so inspite of the difficulty some are producing absolutely beautiful art. I know it can be so hard to do anything but sometimes we can just do it differently or for short short spurts of time instead of long sessions.

    If you can't do it standing or up right, maybe you could do it on your lap? Sometimes just figuring out an alternative way to do things we love works out. There are great videos and DVD's out for instruction also, it might be worth checking them out if you can't make it to events like this one. Contacting the person might even result in them making a video of the event for you and others unable to attend. You never know.

    Good luck on whatever you do and I do hope you will be able to find another way to do what you love to do.
  11. ilovepink4

    ilovepink4 Member

    Terry....yes, it really, really sucks....i feel bad that you feel bad....

    i think you deserve a good complaining session to whoever will or won't listen....you will feel better...

    then, maybe you can figure out a way to still go...maybe to only part of the workshop...go and stay in a hotel the day before? get someone to drive you? take tons of pain meds and ...i figured this one out...nodoz...or one of the stay awake meds...it helps me temporarily if i have to go somewhere and i am in a flare...

    if you can't figure it out...go shopping online and buy something you totally don't need...it is fun and it cheers me up...even if it is under $10...and you can't afford anything more...or eat something fattening...just be bad...it feels good when you are ....it makes me feel better when i am ticked off...lol!!! just don't take this laying down....pink

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