how do you keep up with people and have a life, dating etc.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Kimelia, Jan 24, 2006.

  1. Kimelia

    Kimelia New Member

    How do you guys manage a life. How do you keep the man/woman in your life happy with what little you have to give? I'm embarassed if I let someone in for them to see that I just don't have much to give them, but I feel i need a lot from them. I really don't get it. Are there people out there who want to be with someone who physically can't give like some of us can't. I guess if I weren't working I would have more to give probably but at this rate it just isn't possible. How do people do it?

    Man this is so tough. Working 2 jobs now, both of them combined I try to work no more then 25 or 30 hours though not always that little. I only started the second job(my old job) about a month and a half ago. I will have to quit the second job soon. I'm pushing hard to keep going. I can feel it coming but for now the extra cash is definately helping out.

    Problem is, I'm so tired. I go out wiht a friend friday night and I was so exhausted and weak he about had to carry me home from the movie. I get tired of being limited. I like to go dancing on thursday nights, once a month or every two months but I'm realizing I just can't do this because if I get in bed late it affects me for days afterwards. I guess it's a matter of having a schedule that works better for me. I'm sitting at work now and so darn tired. I woke up ok this morning and now that I'm at work I can't even workout, sitting in this chair is taking everything I have. I work in a fitness center.

    Part of it too is probably that I'm tryign to get rid of yeasts and parasites, etc..... I'm sure that I'm weaker then usual, maybe I should see it as a phase. But it seems these days/weeksk come no matter whether I'm trying to kill the baddies or not.

    Would love some input.
  2. zerped

    zerped New Member

    I can only tell you that I'm facing the same questions myself, but not as seriously as you perhaps. I got my disease about a year after a horrible marriage ended, and for the only time in my life I've actually enjoyed not going on dates! I know now that I could date if I wanted to, but it hasn't been a real motivator for me. Perhaps this means I'm afraid to try because things will turn out as you've described. It wouldn't be the first time I've chosen to not deal with something.

    I have a GREAT support system. Friends and family members think to invite me to all sorts of events and activities. The fact that I'm not working does play a part in this, I'm sure. I can usually make it to at least one meeting a week of my 12-step program of choice, and that keeps me connected with people, but also keeps to a minimum what a friend calls "another visit from the &@#% fairy."

    If you read Laura Hillebrand's story from "New Yorker," you can see that there are people out there who can handle whatever they are given. My only problem with that is that you have to have a person in your life already, who is now ready to deal with all the limitations and strageness. If you're currently unattached, your pool of available parties is considerably slimmer.

    On the positive side, there are people in my life now who never new me before the ME/CFIDS, and they don't seem to make much of a deal of it. We meet for coffee or watch a movie on DVD, and I'm "normal" for about two hours. I leave the party before most of the others, but that's all they notice.

    Funny that you should bring this up today. Tonight I'll be at a party and if someone is there, I'll ask her out for lunch or something. I know this hasn't put your mind at ease, but I know that so many things have happened in the last four years that I couldn't see coming that I won't write off any possibility now.