how do you live through a wedding?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by erinwilburn, Jun 10, 2008.

  1. erinwilburn

    erinwilburn New Member

    My sister is getting married on the 28th and I am so worried about how I am going to do it all. I have 2 showers a rehersal dinner, wedding & reception to get through as maid-of-honor all in 2 weeks time.

    I have been bedridden for the past 2 months and usually sleep during the days. She was sweet enough to make the wedding late in the day for my sake, but that dosen't change the fact that I have not even been able to get my dress yet because I don't have the energy to both shower and leave the house.

    I even went to my DR to ask for some extra help with pain just for the month and he acted like I was asking him to shoot me.(idiot) he has become so nice he is stupid, meaning he ohs and ahs but does nothing to help.

    Any advise on how you all do it would be great! My family is understanding to a point but I am the oldest of six chidren so I am exspected to be in charge. Mainly because until I got sick I was!hahaha I think my stuborness as an odest is what has helped me servive this far!

    Again any help would be great!
    Thanks, Erin
  2. bikrgrl

    bikrgrl New Member

    I don't know about there but here, by law doctors are not allowed to knowlying allow their patients to be in pain without giving them something for it. They have to give you pain meds, if they know you are in pain.
  3. erinwilburn

    erinwilburn New Member

    sadly there is no law and now I am dealing with very high blood presure for the last month because of pain. 186/99 to which his reply was well you better find a Dr who rx's pain meds so you can get that under control... like I said idiot!

    I have been to several Dr but so far none want to deal w/ me. I did demand he give me the names of some that he knew had narcodics licences so maybe that will work.

    that is where I am at with last coment to him was "well I haven't died yet"

    The BP does worry me so I am working fast to find someone new.
  4. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Find another doctor.

    But as far as the wedding goes, my dear, if you had a terminal illness, would they really expect you to be at all these events?? I'm sorry if that seemed brash but isn't it true? Because our illnesses are invisible we think we must perform up to other's standards for us.

    On the other hand, maybe a bit of motivation isn't all bad. I know that if pressed to the wall, I can sometimes stand up for a bit before the crash. If I were you I'd have a quiet talk with my sister - after all, she's the one that counts in this - and see if you can't reduce your schedule. Say, skip the showers and attend the rehearsal and the wedding. Stay for a short time at the reception, if at all.

    Note to yourself: You're sick.

    Oh, and clear your calendar for the week after the wedding so you can rest.

  5. CanBrit

    CanBrit Member

    My son is getting married at the end of August and it's starting to panic me. I've tried to get our responsibilities done early...bought my son's tux and necessary accessories, ordered the wine for dinner, etc.

    We still have to face the rehearsal dinner, which will be out at our place, then the weekend of the wedding, both our parents will be up at our house along with my daughter who will be having a baby the end of July as well as my other 3 grandsons.

    This also doesn't include my son and his 3 groomsmen. I don't know where we're going to put them all.
    We have 1 bathroom!!!

    ARGHHH. I'm going to have to rely on my poor hubby quite a bit. We've talked about putting up our parents at a nice little inn about 10 minutes from our place in the country. It may cost us more, but my sanity is worth something too.

    I wish you luck.


  6. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    As the have that right. LOL
    You're going to have to ask for help. Have others do everything extra that you can't. Don't be a martyr and struggle through it - just let people know ahead of time (now) of your limitations. Do what you can and that's it.
    You want to be able to enjoy the wedding, not dread it.
  7. Empower

    Empower New Member

    I am sitting here crying at I read your post, because we can't enjoy these events

    I have a nephew getting married in November and maybe another nephew in December.

    I don't know how I am going to do it either

    I just pray that we can make it through

    I know the one thing I am going to do is get a hotel room at the reception and sneak out for quick "naps" on occasion
  8. erinwilburn

    erinwilburn New Member

    thanks for your posts. I do know that I am goig to push myself to a point but I hope I will remember to stop. Ya know I hate that...when I get tired it takes too much energy to say no(as crazy as that sounds) and I end up putting myself into a panic.

    I am having lunch with my sister to talk about my health. This wouldn't be so hard if they would have all just listened in the first place. But they are all young and unless it effects them they don't get it.

    We tried to get a hotel room in the area of the wedding but of course there is some big car show that weekend so there wasn't a room to be found in the small we will be driving the hour one way trip 3 times. That is what is going to kill me off.

    I dread big events now and it makes me sad cause I love dancing and chating and just having fun. Both my hubby and I are loud crazy people. I will just have to be crazy from a comfy chair.

    And now I am preparing myself to deal with a lot of hard huggs and "you don't look sick" coments. So glad I have the board to search and read all the letters to healthy people for good advise.
  9. cookie1960

    cookie1960 New Member

    That's all anyone can ask of us, Erin. As the maid of honor your main responsibility falls on the day of the wedding. Make sure that your sister is happy on her special day.

    As far as all the other events and details...just do your best. Ask for help from the siblings or other members of the bridal party. Attend the functions if you are able - and leave when you need to.

    Hugs - I usually tell people I have a cold - and they usually retreat. And by the way...your dr is an idiot.

    good luck to you and the bride!
  10. mujuer

    mujuer New Member

    I am in my sisters wedding on June 28th and I have to fly halfway across the states to get there. I ordered my dress as soon as she asked me. Then when it came in, there was plenty of time to have it altered. After the final fitting I had it shipped to my mothers house so I didn't have that hassel. I have taken alot of time to do all of this. When I felt good last week, I made a last minute hair appt. to have my hair trimmed.

    When I get there it will be off the wall crazy. My sister the bride is fighting with my other sister who says she's not going to be in the wedding now SO, I told mom to make up my room in the guest bedroom in the basement. It is nice and cool and dark down there and best yet, it is quiet. So when, notice I didn't say if, they stress me out, down I go to my little haven. Day of the wedding, someone is going to do my hair and off I go. I am just going to pace myself. They all understand and just appreciate that I am coming. I hope you find some relief from some other Dr. that believes that patients have a right to be treated correctly. Best wishes, P
  11. kriket

    kriket New Member

    I am engaged am terrified of a wedding. LOL So Sad. I do not have money to have a wedding planner. I also have severe anxiety. I am thinking of just eloping to avoid all of the stress, although I have dreamed of a very elegant wedding. I know how you are feeling.

  12. erinwilburn

    erinwilburn New Member

    thanks I will take your advise on the road trips. My HB is blind so I have to drive but only 20min to my parents house and that is my limit for using my legs to drive (I have been saved by cruse control before). I did get us a ride the rest of the way so I could pack myself in nice and soft.

    I did tell her I wouldn't be at one shower but I do have to go to one but it is a special day my Grandma throws for her grand-daughters. We spend the day being mushy and hearing about our parents wedding and hers. I can always use a good dose of Grandma wisdom.

    Thanks for your posts!