How do you stop telling anyone about your aches and pains?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kirbycat, Aug 24, 2006.

  1. kirbycat

    kirbycat New Member

    I want to stop telling everyone how I feel. It is fruitless and comes across as whining (i think). Nobody really wants to know anyway. The few people that really care about you can tell by body language how you are feeling. My husband oftens says "you are about out of spoons huh). He can tell. I am getting tired of bothering with an explaination when it falls on deaf ears.
    When friends or family asks me how I am doing, I usually tell them about that days events, they just smile and nod, not really any eye contact. That's when I know it made no difference what I said.
    I'm going to quit.
    Cathy
  2. mezombie

    mezombie Member

    on the person I'm talking with. I try to be there for my friends when they are having a hard time, so I don't think it's unreasonable to ask that they listen to me when I'm in a similar boat. The problem, of course, is that we're always having a hard time... So when I do talk about the DD, it's during the times it's worse than usual.

    I try not to focus on my symptoms when I'm with others, but rather ask them about what's going on in their lives, or talk about something else. I need an emotional and mental break from CFS, and contact with "well" people gives me that.
  3. littleleafhopper

    littleleafhopper New Member

    My solution up to now has been to fake it. When someone asks me how I feel I usually say great how are you? That includes most of my family. Unless I'm awful then I withdraw completely.

    I've noticed over the years that most people are caught up in their own lives and their families lives, each with it's own set of unique problems.

    Although I really believe that most care, they just don't have the energy, time or focus to deal with the complexities of these illnesses. More simply, they just don't have time. Their lives are too jam packed with their own personal struggles.

    I think that embracing the illness would be a heathier attitude for me to adopt personally, but I don't know how well it would translate to the real world. Perhaps a compromise would be best.

    Faking it is pretty lonely, but also a form of self preservation.
  4. Scapper

    Scapper New Member

    I've yet to find the balance with this. I think everyone has there limit to how much negative stuff they can possibly listen to and with my body, I seem to be able to fill a day.....every day......with complaints!!

    I'm even noticing it with healthcare professionals. I can hear my words going on deaf ears. I think they're pretty burnt out from listening to how much pain people are in.

    I guess it's about "balance" and mine seems to be off.

    I think it's very sweet that your husband uses the term "spoons" -- that's so great -- treasure that one.

    It's hard not to talk about pain when it's so loud. But I do understand people wanting to hear other things from my mouth, other than how horrible I am.

    Thanks for the topic......Scapper
  5. littleleafhopper

    littleleafhopper New Member

    Kirbycat!

    I was a nurse in the ER. too. That was years ago, and I just couldn't keep it together. Not to mention the rotation shifts.

    Last year I thought because of finances that I might go back to school and get more training. Didn't make it past the first day. Just dropped out, realizing it would be way, way too much.

    Nursing was far too demanding mentally and physically. Plus lets face it, with impaired immune systems, being involved with communicable diseases could be a danger.

    I'm trying to decide what to do from here. Perhaps that's a new post.
  6. littleleafhopper

    littleleafhopper New Member

    Sorry guys I put the post above on the wrong thread.

    Oh well, Please forgive!
  7. kirbycat

    kirbycat New Member

    I just get so frustrated with MYSELF when I get up out of a chair or off the couch, I have to unfold in agony. I grunt and groan. It just hurts so much I can't help it. I keep forgetting that I have this DD, I try to jump up and run and sometimes I have literally fallen on my face. My husband is like 'slow down' and I know it but it makes me so mad!! My children used to complain about how fast I walked, they had to trot to keep up. That was my life then, fast and furious! I had a sharp wit and could pop a comeback out to everything that came up. I was fast with a joke or quip about anything. I laughed all the time. I can't remember laughing until I almost wet my pants like I used to. I was also quick in thinking, I could spout out medical treatments and doseages without even giving it a second thought. It was all just second nature. I knew this stuff inside and out. I was in charge of about 20-30 nurses every shift. I was head nurse for years in charge of 50 as well as the budget, reports and everything else you could think of. I babysat doctors, patients, families, administration. It was all just part of my day. I was a problem solver.
    Now, I can't remember where my check book is, damnit.

    another day in the life....
    Cathy