how DOES one talk to their doctor?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by homesheba, Nov 1, 2006.

  1. homesheba

    homesheba New Member

    i really try to be assertive and nice
    to my dr-
    but he seems if i say something like
    ' id like to try so and so for my pain..'
    he gets all weirded out
    and acts like i am trying to get more drugs!!!
    so i sit there mostly meekly now and say ok.
    . while he babbles on and i wind up leaving crying
    cause he gives me the same med over and over - even when i tell him- forcably
    that its not working.!!..
    i dont know what to say ?
    any suggestings??
    i have got to have help soon
    or i will be a crying mess from pain.
    i am pretty much there now.
    do you know that i put off going to the bathroom
    cause it hurts to
    sit on toliet???
    anyone else??
    wierd i know...
    any things NOT to say?
  2. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I When I last saw my pain doctor who is in the middle of some realy bad legal issures , I asked him to lower my dosgae of MSContin and he asked me why I told him that I was not useing them all so I didn'dt feel I needed to take as many a day as I have been prescribed and he said ok and changed it with out any further dissuscion.

    HE is a really good mad just has got some rotten patients who did n't get what they wanted in pain meds so they are causing him problems for not prescribing pain meds for them.

    He has been one who has listend to me from day 1 and still does dispite his own problems. I really thank him for all the help he gives to me. And I pray that all will go ok for him and his problmes will work out for the best.

    HE has listened to me when i have said that meds he has prescribed for me don't work for me and make me ill he will stop them asap. So I know that he is listening to me. And he is the best pain doctor I have ever had.

    Good night I Hope that I was some help
  3. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member


    I have asked my doc for injections, nerve blocks, Dalmane and an assortment of things. He always says 'absolutely not'.

    So...I wanted to go off of Vicodin and go to Percocet.
    The way i said it to him was:

    'Before you say 'absolutely not' would you please listen to me'.

    You might say 'Before you say no, would you .....

    I would stop him from denying anything until he heard me out.

    It seems to work.

  4. homesheba

    homesheba New Member

    yes i will try that!!!
    thank you. before you say no....'
    and you know what??
    i do want to ask him about percoset..:)
    does it help you better that lortab abd vicodin?
    i was told that was the next on the list.
  5. kjfms

    kjfms Member

    Sometimes for whatever reason it is hard for all of to speak openly with our physicians.

    You might try writing a letter and take it with you for your next visit. In this letter explain exactly what is going on and how you feel and how it is affecting your life.

    Give the letter to your physician explain that your emotions are on edge due to pain and you would feel better if he/she would read this letter and you will wait until he/she finishes so you both may discuss.

    This may work -- it is just a suggestion.

    I hope you find a solution most physicians really want to help but sometimes we must go that extra mile to make the relationship work -- I am not saying it is right or wrong it just happens.

    Take care,

    Karen :)
  6. Kimba4318

    Kimba4318 New Member

    HI - I, on the other hand, might know that the percocet would be a step up & explain to my pain doc that what I am taking is not helping the pain as it used too & I have been taking more than I would like to. Usually this works and he will prescribe the next step up. I am always hesitant to say the exact med I think I need. I think they feel like you are searching if you say an exact name, plus they have their ego thing.

    This has worked for me and I make sure to give the doc feed back too. I usually call and say Thank you, I am able to function better or no I am not getting the help I need, etc.

    Hugs & Good Luck
  7. Fredericka

    Fredericka New Member

    Meaning, read up on what you want or think would work for you, and WHY. The more knowledgeable you are, about pain meds and every other step of the way with your doc, he will respect you more.

    Yes, while at the same time not being too pushy! It's a hard line to balance.

    The more you know, the more he/she will try to work with you, rather than against you.

    It isn't easy!!

    I've found calm, cool reasoning works better over anything emotional.

    It's tough! Don't be afraid to "fire" your doctor if it is not working out.

    It has taken me a long time to be more proactive and I still have times of being non-assertive and hate myself for it.

    Good luck. Never give up! We are our own best advocates for these DD's.
  8. Liz919

    Liz919 New Member

    In order to avoid the lectures and the talking over....I tend to avoid dr.s almost entirely :). Probably not the smartest way but I just emotionally can't handle it right now so I'm toughing it out. The only upside is I'm switching GP's as soon as I get the time and the new one (my mom's dr :/) apparently has FM as well. So hopefully that will go well but I'm still not sure it's going to be anything other than well if you weren't so fat and slept more and tried harder. My stay sane plan is geared toward only letting one person yell/guilt me at a time. The quota is already full so I just won't do the dr thing just yet. Good Luck though and personally if you need to I'd suggest being just as much of a bully as they are. :) I'm too timid myself or at least I've never needed to do it enough to get my butt over the timid.
  9. homesheba

    homesheba New Member

    shut for awhile but finally
    i can only take so much and i do eventually
    give it back to them.
    not being ugly, but i will say
    that they have treated me badly
    and have not given me a quality of life,
    all the time trying to keep my voice from shaking
    and a knot forming in my throat...:(
    because it hurts so much
    to keeo being rejected
    over and over.
    i found out today that the rhumey
    that dxed me with fibro-
    wont see fibro patients anymore...
  10. homesheba

    homesheba New Member

    you know what?
    i have the notes to take with me today
    and also
    i will suddenly perhaps have a near and very dear
    cousin that also suffers with it
    and has a job at the irs also!!!
    i forgot allll about him!!
    oh yes!!
    works for me! ha ha ha!!
    i laughed out loud here
    when i read your post!!
    now they really do think i am nutty here...tee hee...
    thanks you all.! xoxox
  11. Clay2

    Clay2 New Member

    I am always accompanied by my wife. We've started explaining that she's there because of the brain fog. (She just sat though a rectal exam with me at the Urologist's. The guy said when he started practicing, he'd never heard of such a thing, but these days it happens all the time. He has, of course, never heard of a woman who has her husband in for a pelvic exam!)

    Back on topic, my problems are sudden and recent, so I've seen something like 12 doctors in the last 7 months. They vary so much. My wife has taken to preparing a page long 'resume' for each new one with bullet points highlighting the critical issues. Some love it. The Uro barely glanced at it.

    All my doctors are on email. The next plan is to send each one an email a day or two ahead laying out one or two major issues that we want to prioritize. In the case of the last visit, we had too many issues to cover in the time allotted, so I could put a note in the email saying we expect to have repeat visits to discuss the 99 other topics.

    I always take in a chart listing all my meds in large print, the dose and timing, patent and generic names, supplements, and reason for taking them. Also drugs I've had problems with and can't take are listed.

    I'm 62, male, underweight, and I still have to work on this issue for every visit. I expect those with opposite qualities have a lot more prejudice to overcome. I don't know what I'd do without my health advocate.
  12. beachwalkerbill

    beachwalkerbill New Member

    I started treating myself like a slab of meat when I go see internist now. He loves it.
    I am very unemotional.
    I have placed all the info I want him to think about in charts and graphs. Lists and tables.Purely scientific
    It seems to be working. Unfortunately he's not Mr. Spock....I am.
  13. homesheba

    homesheba New Member

    i can totally relate!
    do they want crying women like i was yesterday
    to get that nu nu head
    to actually pay attentinto me??
    or a woman who does not lift a eyebrow
    and sits there stoic till her face falls
    off from pain??
    i do not know??
    i have tried both way,
    tho i will say yesterday he gave me the
    fental patches and need info on them..:)
    and i was a blubberingidiot.. sigh.
  14. butterfly83

    butterfly83 New Member

    I've been through the routine of doctors only wanting to prescribe maybe 2 or 3 different meds, and if those don't work then they just throw up their hands and forget about it.

    But there are also doctors out there who are willing to work with you, and discuss medication options, as well as things we can do in other regards to improve our quality of life. But you should NEVER feel guilty for being informed and wanting to feel better. I've had the most luck working with a Pain Management doctor. They have been the most willing to try various options for controlling my pain. The rheumatologists i've been to have not been very helpful, and I often felt just like you did. But now, I usually bring a list of different medications or therapies i've read about, and my doctor isn't AT ALL put off by the fact that I am questioning whether something might be right for me. Of course i'm not like 'put me on this!!', but I show him the books i've read or medical articles i've found that say something might be helpful, and we discuss the benefits and side effects, and then decide what might be helpful.

    So keep looking! There ARE doctors out there who aren't threatened by our education.
  15. homesheba

    homesheba New Member

    i am in the process now f getting my med records and getting them to a new pain dr
    and then ....what happens down here-
    is that they have to look at them
    and then decide if they will 'see' you...
    isnt that pitiful?
    like so many-...haha !!
    are chomping at the bit to get a fibro sufferer.
    . sigh.
    not to mention one with all the otherstuff i have wrong. man,
    i wish i had a dr that someone had already
    ' broken in'
    you know?
  16. homesheba

    homesheba New Member

    think you are GREAT also !!:)
    and everyone else here.
    i am so glad i stumbled into this place with you guys!!!