How harmful is the pain.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Quequay, Dec 5, 2002.

  1. Quequay

    Quequay New Member

    This is my second post, the first one was wonderful. Everyone was so nice and I sure felt better.

    Will my pain harm my body? I lost my beloved cat Daffney to epilepsy on Sunday and she was my main source of support. I helped her when her illness flared up and she helped me with my flare ups by being with me. I have the terrible 3's as I call it, fibromyalbia, cronic fatigue and myofacia all which seem to have settled in my chest. Daffney would lay on my chest and purr which made me feel better. There are no words to describe grief I feel now. My chest hurts so bad that each beat of my heart hurts. I was devestated when I was diagnosed with this disorder but knew I had an ally who would always be there. Knowing that she fought her illness to stay alive and function each day was so inspiring to me. We were medicine buddies, taking each at the same time. Now that she is gone I have no hope, no light, no one there to say "Hey, I can make it so you can too." I need to be here for my husband and my other cats but I am afraid my grief will be my downfall. The pain is so bad but the pain of losing Daffney is overpowering. In my grief am I hurting myself, my body and muscles? I hate this conditions and I hate myself.
  2. Quequay

    Quequay New Member

    This is my second post, the first one was wonderful. Everyone was so nice and I sure felt better.

    Will my pain harm my body? I lost my beloved cat Daffney to epilepsy on Sunday and she was my main source of support. I helped her when her illness flared up and she helped me with my flare ups by being with me. I have the terrible 3's as I call it, fibromyalbia, cronic fatigue and myofacia all which seem to have settled in my chest. Daffney would lay on my chest and purr which made me feel better. There are no words to describe grief I feel now. My chest hurts so bad that each beat of my heart hurts. I was devestated when I was diagnosed with this disorder but knew I had an ally who would always be there. Knowing that she fought her illness to stay alive and function each day was so inspiring to me. We were medicine buddies, taking each at the same time. Now that she is gone I have no hope, no light, no one there to say "Hey, I can make it so you can too." I need to be here for my husband and my other cats but I am afraid my grief will be my downfall. The pain is so bad but the pain of losing Daffney is overpowering. In my grief am I hurting myself, my body and muscles? I hate this conditions and I hate myself.
  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    It is even more difficult to lose a beloved pet than a human family member sometimes because they give such unconditional love to us. You have to feel the grief before you can fell better and, unfortunately, stress like this is very hard on us. Please take very good care of yourself and have faith that healing will happen. Your little loved one is beyond her pain now and from everything I read and see, their spirits remain by our sides after they pass. I know this is little comfort right now while you are in such pain.

    Grief counseling therapy is so useful to us, not only when we lose a loved one, but for all our losses from having our illnesses. I highly recommend it. Treat yourself as you would your best friend who has just been through this loss. Bless you.

    Love, Mikie
  4. teach6

    teach6 New Member

    This board is one of the best places for cheering people up that I've found. It is also a great source of info. If you are in so much pain I wonder what you are taking for it and if perhaps it's time to reevaluate.

    I'm sorry for the loss of your cat. It's amazing how attached we become to our pets. We have a lot of pet lovers here so you will probably hear from some of them.

    Meanwhile, if you really want some laughs check out the Chit Chat board, not to be confused with the chat room. It is full of jokes and people like you and me letting their hair down and having fun.

    Take care of yourself, and also pamper yourself while you are feeling down. Hope to ssee a lot more of you around here. Welcome to the board.

    Barbara
  5. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    I am so sorry that you lost your beloved pet. I can relate to your grief. I am a dog lover, and have lost two of them in the last year and a half. I am still calling the other dogs by the ones names that are gone.

    Like someone said, you will need to go through this grief period, but it does pass, but you will never forgot that little furry bundle of love.

    I am still so sensitive about my Beaute (she was a Boxer), and a little guy that was a mix breed, named Pogo. He weigh about 7 pounds. I can't put their pictures out. I am still that sensitive about them.

    I still have three indoors, but they all have different personalities, don't they?

    You come here anytime you want, there are many of us that a true animal lovers that can really relate to your lost.

    I strongly believe that there is a heavenly place for our pets, no more pain, and they can see us and still love us. I refuse to believe otherwise. That consoles me greatly.

    You take care, and know that you have kindred spirits right here. Try not to get sick.

    Shalom, Shirl
  6. Bellesmom

    Bellesmom New Member

    My animals have always been special to me but since I've been "sick" I seldom leave the house so they have become my life along with the TV.

    We have had 4 Rottweilers in 18 years. The last two had very short times with us due to illnesses. We had to have our last Rott, Belle, put to sleep the Saturday before Thanksgiving. She was 6 - we had her for a little over a year and she was the most comforting animal I've ever had (altho a lot of work). We had no idea she was that sick and we had to come home without her (no $$ to try to fix). She was awfully, awfully sick. I am missing her.

    My cat, Tommy, also lays on my chest and he does bring me a lot of comfort so I know what you mean. After having him for 13 years I have come to realize he can't live forever but it will nearly kill me when he's gone. You cannot find replacements for these little guys.

    We have lost so many animals over the years that I just don't see how I could ever get another one. Yet the big empty space just looms.

    Hang in there. My heart understands.

    Pam
  7. Kathryn

    Kathryn New Member

    I lost two kitties 1 1/2 years ago, just a month apart. I was resigned to the fact that my 18 year old Johnny would not be around much longer, but 4 year old Callie died before he did due to premature kidney failure. I still miss them both. I also had to put down my 16 year old K-9, who had saved my life when we were still working together. Believe me, THAT hurt. I keep his picture on my desk and I still think of him often. My new pup that I just got Saturday, looks a lot like him. So much so that my husband looked in his eyes and named him Little Murphy. He has some mighty big paws to fill. Call your vet or the local humane society and ask about grief counseling. You will not regret it and it will help. Your goal is not to forget your loss, but to learn to deal with your sadness. It does get easier with time, but there will always be a void. Someday too, a new kitty will pick your name out of the hat and show up at your door needing a home. When that happens, don't be too quick to turn him/her away. You might just find that New Kitty is a composite reincarnation of the kitties that you are still missing.
    Kathryn
  8. Quequay

    Quequay New Member

    Thank you for your posts. I often wonder if these continuous pitfalls in my life will ever end. I was starting to cope with the help of Daffney but her death is hitting me so hard. I haven't slept well in over a week and have nightmares when I do sleep. I am on paxil with is wonderful for my overactive emotions and stuff. I am on nortriptyline to replace amitriptyline which I had reaction to. I am on several vitamin supplements as well as percocet and darvacet for pain. None of it takes away the pain completely but at least enough to rest. Since I have been upset this week I forgot to renew my perscrips and now I have to wait for dr to call. The other aweful thing is my Dr has left the practice. She was the only dr that took time to go through things with me and help find a course of treatment so I can function. She would do research and call specialists to gain as much info as possible. I hate the Dr that replaced her. She made me feel that I was an addict and all I needed was therapy.....she was lucky that I was tired that day or look out. Now i am afraid to go to the dr cause I would feel worse coming out than going in. I am so lost at this point in my life. I started coping, I found a way to make money from home by painting my cats and selling the artwork. Now I can't paint for awhile cause the horrible loss of Daffney who was a focal point in my paintings. My house only has a shower so we have been trying to save up enough for a bathtub that will have whirlpool jets to help my muscles. I also need a extra long tub because I am very tall. We had almost enough then my stupid jaw started acting up and I ended up getting a root canal which costed just as much as I had saved. Now we are back to square one, with out my baby Daffney, me in a painful state, in need of more root canals cause I have extra roots in my teeth that already had root canals. I was reading about amalgum fillings and I have loads of them...would cost a fortune to remove. But I would trade everything, I would take the horrible pain, I'd give away everthing to have Daffney back. I know this is going to kill me. I already look like death warmed over. Everything that I hold dear and that keeps me going is slowly slipping away. I must of done something horrible to deserve this...I know I have. I wish god would just take me instead of everything I love.
  9. sybil

    sybil New Member

    losing a beloved pet,is every bit as bad as losing a close human friend.
    i had my siamese cat for nearly 17 years and he died in my arms in february 1999.i was so grief stricken,i had to have 2 days off work and i haven't been able to have another pet since,he was irreplaceable,such a live wire and so intelligent.
    physical pain in itself is not harmful,it is a sympton that something in the body is not right,but that is not much consolation and it can wear you down being in pain all the time.lots of people have psychotherapy,it isn';t for everyone,but it may help you,

    sybilxxx
  10. klutzo

    klutzo New Member

    First, I am so sorry for your loss of Daffney. We lost our 17 yr. old cat, Bosco, a few months ago,and are heartbroken. We're still grieving over our 14 1/2 yr. old Golden Retriever, Harpo, who died many yrs. ago. I have to believe we will see them again one day. Heaven could not be a heaven without animals in it. May you find peace.

    Secondly, I read all the posts, but did not see where anyone had actually answered your question. They were all pouring out their empathy over the loss of your pet and may have gotten distracted. So.....
    Yes, untreated pain can damage you. There are plenty of studies on this, and it makes me so mad that doctors and the DEA don't seem to "get it". Maybe they don't have the time or inclination to read the research. It has been shown that persistent, untreated or undertreated pain will lower your immunity and cause depression. Because of the lowered immunity, the average life-span of untreated pain patients is significantly less. I am pretty sure I read about this research in Fibromyaliga Network, and they have back-issues available at their website for just a buck or two. Since I can't give out the website here, you can use a search engine to find them if you want to get the actual research to take to your doctor, or call them at 1-800-853-2929 and tell them what you are looking for. I don't know if they can help over the phone, but you never know until you try.
    There is also plenty of research showing that people in pain get addicted to pain meds at a rate of only 1%. That's because we are not getting a high....we're just getting more like normal. Sure pain meds produce dependency, but you can withdraw from them slowly and carefully if you don't need them.
    I think the Puritan ethic of suffering being good for you is still alive and well in this country and I could go on all day about it (but thankfully, I won't!). I am lucky that I was able to stop taking prescription pain meds for my FMS after I went through menopause....it somehow lowered my pain level and also took away my migraines. I made the mistake of withdrawing too quickly and almost killed myself, but that's because I asked my doctor for advice on withdrawing. Always ask a Pharmacist not a doctor for advice about drugs!
    I hope you can get pain relief soon. I think the others are right that your emotional upset right now is increasing your pain.....maybe it will setttle down more as you come to grips with your loss.
    In empathy,
    Klutzo
  11. catgal

    catgal New Member

    I, too, recently lost my 14 year-old cat named Tyler to liver dysfunction, and how I miss his beautiful face, healing purr, and soft touch on my face. I have FM, CFS, Degenerative Disc Disease, Arthritis, and severe Asthma & allergies. I have 5 other cats, but the loss of Tyler was a deep wound, and I am still recovering...for I also lost my precious 10 year-old dog, JeniLu, back in June. However, I am grateful for the time we had together, for what they taught me, for the unconditional love they gave me, and for always being there for me.

    I wish you a gentle healing with fond memories rather than sad ones. And somehow, I still feel that Tyler and Jenilu are still with me in Spirit. They left their love with me, and I can feel it, feel blessed with it, and know that they will show up at my door one day with a different furry look--but their Spirit will shine through.

    Take precious care of yourself, and you must be a very gentle, loving person yourself to have cared so much for one of God's furry, comforting critters. Carol....
  12. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    I can't add anything to the other posts except to say that I am so sorry for your loss. I have two cats, Wendy & Gracie, who mean the world to me. I recently found out I'm allergic to cats (didn't used to be) so I am taking shots (they're safe w/no preservatives)---anything rather than part with these two friends. I know what you mean about them sitting on your chest & purring; when I'm in pain, or having a lot of anxiety, that calms me right down. Just feel your grief, as hard as that is; you have lost a beloved family member & you have every reason to feel the way you do. I know it will be better eventually, right now is the darkest time. Post here often, we'll help you through this.

    Take care & gentle hugs,
    Pam
  13. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    so I can relate to how you are feeling. I lost my cat, Felix (yes he was a black cat) after having him for 21 years in 1997. I now have three cats (the third one was a stray we just adopted a couple of months ago). They are a lot of comfort and company. I remember Felix always seemed to know when I was not feeling well. He would often lay quietly beside me. One time when I was really feeling bad, he came up to me quietly and gave my hand a quick lick as if to say he was sorry. I am sure that the grief you are going through now will affect your pain since I have found that any stress definitely increases my pain level. I lost my mother in October (after a long illness) so I am grieving for her. The holiday season makes it harder, especially since my mother loved Christmas so much. I think any kind of loss is going to affect you mentally and physically, but I think the most important thing is to cry and work through your grief. After my father died I had some grief counseling, which was very helpful to me.

    Ellen
  14. kellym

    kellym New Member

    I'm so sorry that you have to go through the pain over the loss of your beloved Daffney. I understand how she was your "life". Pets are so extemely hard to lose. It will take time for your wounds to heal. But, I promise, the pain will eventually subside a little, though you will always love and miss her. Please take comfort in the fact that she is no longer suffering. And, I know she wishes you weren't either.
    Warm hugs from a fellow pet lover,
    KellyM
  15. Rain122865

    Rain122865 New Member

    Pericarditis is an inflammation of the lining sac (pericardium) which surrounds the heart. I had this one time and I thought I was having a heart attack the pain was so bad I could not hardly breathe was later told that it was my heart beating against the fluid filled sac causing the pain. I only mention it because alot of people have this in a milder form and it is over looked and sometimes misdiagnosed. If the pain is in your chest all the time and seems to correspond to your heatbeat or breathing I would have it checked out. Please do not assume that it is your other illness that is causing the pain. It is better to be safe and have it checked.
    Rain