How is your sex drive?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Honora88, Jul 20, 2008.

  1. Honora88

    Honora88 Member

    I have no libido since getting ill. Do you have any desire?

    Having sex is one thing which is painful but desire is another. I have neither.

    Just wondering if this is affected by cfid. I'm a bit wary of posting this I guess my propriety gets the best of me.
    [This Message was Edited on 07/21/2008]
    [This Message was Edited on 07/21/2008]
  2. hensue

    hensue New Member

    Like you said it makes me hurt. Who wants it especially if it makes you hurt. I wish they would make a viagra for women. Oh yeh i remember this is a mans world. My husband does not understand. He thinks i do not have any desire for him. That is not good. You cannot explain it to him.
    He cant see it ! He is way beyond sulking.
    No answers here I hope we get some

    BILLCAMO New Member

    CFIDS/ME can have a very negative effect on libido. Even with men. The same is true for Fibro.

    Here's a way that may help "normals" understand : Does it hurt a carpenter's hand when he hits it with a hammer ? And what happens when the hand he picks the hammer up with cramps up so bad that he can't even lift it ?

    Blessings ,

    [This Message was Edited on 07/21/2008]
  4. Pansygirl

    Pansygirl New Member

    I'm having troubles too and sometimes I think it's a combination of the meds and the dd FM . And my hubby's desire has always been more than mine.

    I definitely understand what you are going through.

    Take care, Susan
  5. Hootie1

    Hootie1 New Member

    I have the sex drive of a 91 year old woman with a 46 year old that has a libido of a 25 year old!
  6. JohnThreeSixteen

    JohnThreeSixteen New Member

    I hear ya, but it's like my spouse has this disorder, too, because he has to suffer from it, lol. But I'm not going to allow it to rob us of a sex life and why can't we talk about that here? It's a part of life. I'm new to this, so my attitude might drastically change as I lose hope! LOL

    Ok, so anyway, most anti-depressants have the side effect of killing the libido or being unable to orgasm...even in women. I betcha the percentages would be higher if women tested would TALK ABOUT IT, so I congratulate the poster in having the nerve! Also, I think FMS in itself (the pain, the fear of pain, fatigue, etc) has an effect on libido. But anyway, I AM going to take an antidepressant (because it helps ALOT) and I AM going to keep looking for one that is everything I want it to be...been through Citalopram, Lexapro (not exactly the same), Cymbalta and Pristiq and now Minalcipran. I also don't want to take Lyrica because of the advertised sexual side effects AND weight gain.

    Don't stop looking for the best combo for treatment! Treat ALL of you...not just the pain.
    [This Message was Edited on 07/21/2008]
  7. msbsgblue

    msbsgblue Member

    Billcamo above is my husband and we both have this dd. We manage just not as often as we might like.
  8. poets

    poets Member

  9. Pansygirl

    Pansygirl New Member

    I wanted to add that one thing that is helpful for me and my hubby is the open communication in relation to the sex /libido issuse.

    take care, Susan
  10. texangal81

    texangal81 New Member

    Anyone care to volunteer so I can adequately answer this question? *LOL*.

    It has been FAR too long and I wasn't sick back then, so I can't really answer other than I used to start chewing nails if I went celibate longer than a few weeks and now I'll stop and think, "wow, it has been almost 3 years"!

    I am sure if I had someone in my life that this DD would would be taking its toll.....
  11. marti_zavala

    marti_zavala Member

    Texan Gal - ROFL! Ditto!

    Well, this is how it is with me -
    no interest, (Thankfully, no partner).

    But as my thyroid is getting balanced - it seems to be increasing.

    This is worrisome, because life is easier to deal with, without the desire (since I have no partner).

    I do believe that the lack of interest is biochemical in nature and can be addressed with balancing thyroid, adrenals and the brain neurotransmitters, seratonin and dopamine. I have not done much to pursue this from this angle, although I have been working on these areas so the interest is increasing.

  12. kellygirl

    kellygirl Member

    It is differnet with my husband and me...........he has no desire for sex! Whoever heard of that?

    He has been diagnosed with depression but doesn't want to do anything to help with that. It's his choice.

    He goes to work, comes home and sleeps.

    I have my own life with friends and family and he likes to be left alone.
  13. RatsWife

    RatsWife New Member

    I've started to believe that the hypersensitized nerves in my body are zapping me with both good and bad sensations. When I feel good enough to fool around with the Rat (hub's nickname), I've been really, really surprised by the strength of the sensations. We've been married over 30 years. In this one arena, I can almost wish I'd always had FM. No joke. Intense.

    Peace and {{{Love}}}

    DRAGONSGIRL New Member

    ? Are there really still people out there that have sex? Why? lol
  15. Pansygirl

    Pansygirl New Member

    Texan you made me laugh, I did need a good laugh but then again I was curious how you are doing? Any luck on finding a doctor that will really help you with your pain.

    Gentle hugs, Susan

    PS interesting thread and Ktn105 I'm glad you started it as it's another part of this dd that we all have to deal with at some point.
  16. lynn3811

    lynn3811 New Member

    HaH!! whats sex? been no where near it for three years!
  17. tandy

    tandy New Member

    could be better, but its not non-existant.

    although I hardly think every 2-3 weeks is a good healthy sex life :)
    but it works for me!!

    the kicker is,that it takes a couple days for the increased pain to wear off.

  18. kellyamos

    kellyamos New Member

    Well, it looks like I am not alone. I am 46 years old and it has probably been 3 or more years for me. I hate to admit it, but hubby and I even sleep in separate bedrooms... Actually I sleep much better alone.

    I am starting to wonder though if hubby is having an affair.. And actually, I am to the point where I would not care if he was. I work full time, do EVERYTHING around the house, cook, clean handle all finances, etc., etc.. All he does is work, sleep, eat and go to a bar every day after work for about 2 hours. Oh, but he does mow the grass on weekends... Gee, aren't I lucky to have such a wonderful, caring husband??? NOT!

    So there is really no attraction to him any more. And I am trying to figure out what purpose he serves on this earth.. You know, I can hire someone to mow my yard in the summer.

    Sorry to get on my soap box everyone. At least I know I am not the only one with no sex drive...

  19. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Sex is a totally normal/natural thing - so no need to be embarassed to talk about it - or lack of it actually.

    We go through phases. Actually I'm not usually even in the mood - it's not really because of pain. I'm just too darn tired. My poor husband. He's so good too - he never gives me a hard time about it. I know that it would be good for our intimacy.

    I know that my meds do affect my desire. I could easily do without with no problem. We do flirt though to keep things alive and fun. THAT is very important in our relationship.
  20. MsBrandywine

    MsBrandywine Member

    Well I have or did have the desire but he had the low sex drive.. we've been together for will be going on 2 yrs in August but..

    I've always been for the most part the one that kind of got things started.. but then after being with him and he started saying I was oversexed.. because I mentioned once or twice a wk might be nice.. He thought maybe once or twice a month.... then comments that were made, they made me feel like I was over sexed.. which I dont feel that I am at all..
    Think that I've slowly lost desire??? But that doesnt mean that I dont think of it.. and when we did, I,...usually I felt good the next day.. it was like it relieved alot of stress lol... so now with me living at home and We haven't seen each other in three wks, maybe now he will be ready lol