How life changes when we find out that we have fibro

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Oct 26, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    Once when life was not so painfull there were things I did that I really liked to do.. What happened to the days when my husband and I wallked threw the fair grounds together and had so much fun,buying cotton candy and just spending time together.

    I didn't want my life to change but it did any way. Pain became some thing that i had to live with and I didn't have the choice to tell it to go away it was just there to stay forever. That was not in my plans for my life. I wanted to be a LPN and to help others and give all the support I could to make them feel better and as good as they could.

    Now I just wish that there were nurse's that woulld treat me as I wanted to treat others back when. IN todays worlds we who live with pain are shoved aside and told that WE don't really hurt that badly" aWhen in all realiitiy we really do hurt that badly.

    I don't want much just acceptance from family , friends, and husband, I want the world to accept me as I am now not for who I used to be. AS that person is not here any more she left when the pain got too bad for her to cope with.

    Yes life has changed since that word fibro came in to my life.
    SOMe tell me that it is in my head and others tell me that itis not real and that I should just see a counsler and for get this fake illness.

    And then there are the doctors that treat me who take good care of me and them get charged with crimes that it is doubt full that they really did what they were chaged with.

    So many pain doctor are not being sued because some one didn't get the pain medication that they wanted so they made up some thing bad about their doctor and sured him for it.

    It is so hard to go to the hospital these days as every one knows what I take for my pain and they gasp when they really hear how strong the pain meds i am taking and judge me for it and suddenly I am a drug seeker or a drug addict. All because I take pain pills.

    Yes , i long for days gone by but they are not comming back. They are gone and today is here tostay. Pain and all no one wants to understand that pain can really be a 10 every day for your livfe 24/7 and no matter what you take it just eases a enough to take the edge off of the pain.
    zmaybe this is some thing fomr God to teah me things I need to know and understand and in time I may learn what it is that I need to be taught. But for now I don't know what it is.


    I just know that it hurt me so much, I just want people to accept me for me and not becasue I am so outo f it that they just say things that they don't mean . I want to be happy and feel loved.

    I want to hold my grandson and his new still waiting for in jan o 07 tocome out to play wiht us. I would rally like to be accepted for me for the lady that told paints and for the lady who smiles at them all the time. I want to be happy and to enjoy my life for the things I want to do.

    As i said I only want one thing and that is be happy with my slef and to accept my self . I want to be accepted for bb.


    There is so much that i sil real;y want to do ad I know that they won't hapn maybe as fast as I would likd. but I am bound and to do. I want you to}}I don't meant to remember know that each one of you inspseires me to do, I may not be the person I once was but i have learned that I am a new one who still can do .

    Thank you for just letting me remember the joy of life]]
    Much love and for letting me do all that I can do. Thanks for accetping me or me and beinging me such joy.

    LOve you,
    Rosemarie
  2. Kazah

    Kazah New Member

    it was a real change for me. i was always a sporty kid and my friends used to call me the water baby and superfit due to my swimming and activites. FM hit me hard at 17 and all of a sudden the person i identified as me was gone - i was no longer the sporty one, i was nothing.

    i felt like my youth had been stolen from me just at the time when i should have been going out with friends and partying i was having to act like a pensioner and go to bed at 9:30!

    Twelve years later i'm still finding it hard to let go of that image. i so want to be able to run and swim again. I feel like i am still grieving for my former life. I go through different stages i can only describe as similar to those when you experience the death of someone close, denial, bargaining, anger, but never really seem to get to acceptance. I think this is because i always feel there must be some hope that things can change and life can be better again.

    Lots of people post that they have found some positives from this and i guess the only one i've found is that i can be more understanding of others who experience long term pain but i'm afraid for me this isn't much cosolation. i want my life back.

    I didn't tell my family and friends what was going on until last year though I had to tell work a few years ago so that i wouldn't get fired fo my sickness record. I didn't want people to see me differently but they already knew i had changed and i guess it helped them to know why.

    Thankyou for posting this as it feel good to be able to vent this at someone who might understand. I know being angry won't help me but i can't help how i feel.

    take care
  3. abcanada

    abcanada New Member

    I've been living with FM symptoms for close to the last two years. Getting MRI this Monday, so will either give me FM diagnosis if nothing else shows up. I'm 32 & the mother of 4 little angles(They really are). It began with my last pregnancy, which initiated a flare that I have not recovered from. In fact continued to get worse.
    When I found out I was pregnant, I was alarmed wondering how I would handle 4, being healthy. I got myself psyched up, but had nothing but deteriorating health. Keeping a positive attitude at all times I just could not get out of this flare. Now all this time has passed and I'm beginning to feel my life slipping by. I haven't got an ounce of energy most days. I can barely get my kids needs taken care of. I'm also in alot of pain, which is making it hard to keep positive.
    Five years ago I never would have dreamed that my health would have taken such a nose dive. I was a high energy woman with alot of goals and greatly enjoyed doing anything outside. I actually feel pretty much like a waste of space some days. I can only continue to hope that soon this will remit, or I will find help and compatability with a drug.
  4. nerdieduckie

    nerdieduckie New Member

    I haven't had trouble with the doctors, the friends (mostly), or the family that many of you have, but it still seems like the world just isn't meant for US. Nothing's really CFS/FM compatible. Stress always makes me flare, so I try to stay away from stress....but that's near impossible!

    I used to be a Straight-A, high goal oriented student who loved school, and now I can barely get through reading a book...although really it IS a boring book...but I digress.

    I've never been fit, I'll own up to that, but I cried when I looked at the scale and saw I'd gained over 20lbs in 4 months. Just due to medication. I'd been maintaining a steady weight since 7th grade or so, and then that. It was really upsetting, and I was already self-conscious enough. I want to go out and run or walk or something, but I can barely make it through 4 stores without begging my parents to please get me out of there and take me home.

    Contrary to popular belief, good things have come from this ordeal though. I've picked up jewelry-making, I've learned my life isn't set in stone and at this point I can still pretty much do what I want, and I've found an obscene love for cleaning/organizing. I used to HATE cleaning. Whether or not that last thing's a good thing, I'm not sure yet.

    So, I guess in a way it was beneficial for me to get it, because I had one set path and one set path only, or so I thought. Now I have all sorts of branchy thingies everywhere ^_^

  5. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Rosemaria:

    My life changed once I realized I would need life-song medical care for the diseases.

    nyrofan