How long before you pay for doing something? So bad today..

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Kimba4318, Sep 25, 2006.

  1. Kimba4318

    Kimba4318 New Member

    Hi friends.... Just wondering... I assume I am having a bad flare. I went away last weekend & this past weekend, I did not do too much. Sunday came & I was actually able to sleep in a bit (mom had the kids) I drove to the grocery store and I could barely keep my eyes open. By the time I got home, I ate a snack, and that was it for me.

    I could barely get to the bed - layed around all night and thru the morning... Could barely wake up this morning to get the kids off to school. It hurts to turn my neck. My hips and lower back are killing me. Still so hard to keep my eyes open.

    Am I paying for my weekend away from last week? It was very stressful - but geez! Wondering how long it takesn for you to pay for over doing it. Do you see a pattern. I hope this does not last very long... it is one thing after another. I'd rather have this pain then the severe fatigue.

    Any thoughts on your flares and when they hit you?
    Hugs :)
    Kim
  2. Kimba4318

    Kimba4318 New Member

    bumping in hopes..
  3. Kimba4318

    Kimba4318 New Member

    Thank you for your input - i appreciate your response. I will listen to your advice and try to rest in between things, even though i feel like i am always at 1/2 speed trying to do ANYTHING. Wouldn't feel as bad if I had a full force weekend and have gotten things done, then the flare.... I wouldn't mind paying as much!

    You know how it is.... obviously you really understand!!

    Thank you soooo much for responding!
    Hugs :)
    Kim
  4. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    it's difficult to figure out if and when you 'pay the price' - it can be the same day, next day, next week.

    But I always pay!!!! When you feel like that just rest, if possible until it passes and there's no telling when that will be either.

    love
    Rosie
  5. Kimba4318

    Kimba4318 New Member

    You are sooo right. It is so hard to understand it!
    I wish we had a "schedule" of how and when we are going to pay... then we could decide if it is worth doing.

    Hugs & thanks again.
    Kim
  6. KMD90603

    KMD90603 New Member

    It usually takes me anywhere from 6 hours at the least to 12 hours at the most. Usually the days that I go to school, by about 5 in the evening I'm beginning to crash. Other days, such as if it's a day that I'm out and about all day, it won't be until the next day that I begin to feel the effects of the CFIDS. For me, it depends on how much I've done, and whether or not I had a chance to lay down and rest throughout the day.

    Gentle hugs,
    Kim
  7. Redwillow

    Redwillow New Member

    Generally if I am going to flare it is in about 48 hours.

    But like the others there are days when I seem to be fine..... and others that I crash for no apparent reason.

    Like Livinlife I hate when that wall hits you, especially if you are out somewhere and you don't know if you are going to make it to the car.

    hugs Redwillow

  8. Slayadragon

    Slayadragon New Member

    I honestly think that for the most part, my body keeps going until I have time to give it a real break. If I need--or really want--to do something (at least recently), I can generally pull up the energy to do it and not feel too bad during. But eventually I know I'm going to have to pay, like taking money from a credit card. It's better if I have "cash in the bank" (saved-up energy) or pay the money back quick. If I were to wait too long to pay it back, I'd drown in the interest for sure.

    I've not read this approach being used by many other people. I think it works for me because:

    1) I'm in fairly good shape, 60-70% overall. (I thought I was in very bad shape until recently, but compared to a lot of other CFS suffererers, that seems not the case.)

    2) I try to rest up in advance of busy times.

    3) I try to get as much sleep as possible, whenever I can get it. Anytime I can get more hours, I figure my body needs it.

    4) I create my schedule so that it has "breaks" in it so that I can rest up. For instance, during my recent trip to Japan, I scheduled 2-3 days of a lot of activity and then another few days at a hot spa or wherever where I knew I could totally crash. (I also didn't absolutely commit to any activities in advance except train rides.....I could always niiss seeing sights somewhere if necessary.) I build this cushion into things like my business travel as well.

    5) I don't have kids or a 9-5 job, and so I easily can "bow out" of life the vast majority of the time if I choose. I try to finish independent projects way ahead of time, so that my body can rest when it needs to and I just need to worry about being "up" at a particular moments when traveling or presenting.

    6) I try not to commit to things much in advance unless they matter a lot. That way, if my body wants to rest on a particular night, I just do that.

    7) I have a great husband who thinks that the purpose of our marriage is to help us be ourselves, not to conform to some idealistic standards of what life is supposed to be like for a married couple or to please one another. He doesn't put expectations on me, therefore. (He's very sympathetic toward and understanding about my illness, but this is a two-way street. I try not to put expectations on him either and to let him do what makes him happy. If it weren't a two-way street, things between us would not be very sustainable, I don't think.) Other people don't understand our marriage, but they don't need to.

    8) I've had this thing long enough to know my body and its limits well. (For instance, I know this is where I am now. If prepared, I can have a few days in a row that a normal person would feel were active. Then I have to have at least a couple of days where I can rest and have a really light schedule if I choose. I can go on this off/on pattern for a few weeks, but then I know I'm going to have to "zonk" for as long as my body chooses, for several days or more, maybe even not leaving my bed (except to eat etc.) for 3-4 days. )

    9) I never, ever, ever schedule myself in a way that seems too much (although I can get sucked into doing too much on a particular day if I get on a roll and am not careful).

    10) I try as hard as I can not to let people persuade me to do more things than I'm comfortably able on the spur of the moment, especially if it's not my desire to do them. If I do this, I get thrown off balance easily and often feel angry with the other people (even though rationally I realize their actions would be fine if I were normal).

    11) I control all my own time. I never answer the phone. I don't even use Caller ID....it doesn't matter who's calling. People know to contact me by e-mail if they want to talk or get togeteher or whatever. I return answering machine calls when I'm up to them. Clients attribute it to my being busy (and in fact, a good part of the time I'm not answering because I'm out of town etc.). If friends/relatives don't understand after I explain, that's too bad.

    12) I carefully prioritize _everything_. Even though it's against my nature, I try to be as ruthless as I possibly can with regarding to putting my own needs well above those of others (which is not to say I don't do lots of things for others.....just that I do them only if and when I can and want to and decide they're a priority).

    13) I monitor my body carefully. If it seems to be less well than usualy, I immediately scale back my activity in any way that I need to, regardless of the cost.

    At some fundamental level, I think my body and "I" (as if my body isn't "me"!) have struck a bargain: if it allows me to do what I really want/need according to plan, I will make sure it gets what it needs.

    What tends to get pushed off to the side are long-term projects that don't have an end date (e.g. writing). I need to schedule them like they're work. But that's a problem common to everyone, not just those of us who are sick.

  9. Kimba4318

    Kimba4318 New Member

    Wow Lisa - it seems that, as much as possible, you really understand how your body is working. Maybe that is what I need to do, just expect to pay and it's a bonus if I don't.

    I guess I need to allow more time to rest in between things and not just keep pushing and have a bigger crash.

    You seem to have things very under control - that is great.

    Thank you for all the good info - it helps alot!
    Take Care!
    Kim :)