How Many Are Housebound or Bedridden, Also Suffer From Anxiety/Depresson??

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by greatgran, Dec 17, 2008.

  1. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    I know I have posted this before but with so many leaving the board and new ones coming I was just wondering how many are mainly housebound or bedridden.

    It seems I am getting worse as the years go by and do better if I just stay in and most of the time in bed. This doesn't do much for my Anxiety/depression as I feel so useless but every time I try to go and do I end up so sick.

    Yesterday, I did manage to get out and go to my greatgrand daughter's Christmas Play, (she was Mary) and I wanted to see her so bad. The church is only about a mile from my house and I wasn't there more than 2 hours, came home and within a couple of hours I was in bed. I became so nausated,exhausted, head felt weird and my legs ached to the bone and of course the anxiety finds me big time.

    I just feel like giving up at times but the suffering afterwards was worth being able to go and see her.

    I so doubt my Dx is this really CFIDS/FM?? Seems each day my symptoms are different.

    Thanks and God Bless,

  2. msbsgblue

    msbsgblue Member

    I mostly am especially winter here. It has been 0 to -5 at night and the daytime temp has been about 17 with snow for over 10 days now.

    I hurt bad enough to be in bed, but I refuse to give in and give up. I hurt too bad if I lay for more the about 6 hours at night anyway and since I have RA too that makes me so stiff and sore.

    I feel for all of us with this dd. I have had it for 20 years and I can testify to the fact that YES it does get progressively worse. I have tried everything bu the kitchen sink and nothing has helped me.

    Oh I imagine your diagnosis is correct since I agree with your last statement about that.
  3. charlenef

    charlenef New Member

    ive joined this group for the last 5yrs i need to be close to bed because sitting is impossible im in bed about 20-22yrs a day at the ripe old age of 39 hugs charlene
  4. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Know what you mean by trying everything but the kitchen sink. Well, today I have been in bed most of the day, mostly nausea, chills and depression from not being able to do and so much to do this time of year.

    I never knew anything could make one so miserable. I need to go back to the doctor but don't feel up to it and he doesn't know what to do .

    Oh, here I go venting.

    Sorry you hurt and I deeply admire you for not giving in, I try but sometimes I just can't win.

  5. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    So sorry you have had to join the group. I sure feel for you. I am getting to the point I am in bed most of the day. Don't like it but what to do. Seems nothing helps but lying in bed then I feel so guilty and depressed.
    With the holidays and I can't manage to do anything. My husband tries to understand but gets so upset with me cause I do nothing.

    Please keep in touch guess misery likes company.

  6. charlenef

    charlenef New Member

    my family goes to my inlaws but again ive been home for 5 yrs alone im not well enough to be out of the house that long i eel the most guilt about my sons graduation coming up in june that i will not be able to go it makes me sad but my family understands hugs charlene
  7. msbsgblue

    msbsgblue Member

    As most of you know I met my husband right here on this forum about 7 years ago. We got married 3 years ago Dec. 13th and both of us have FM/CFS and arthritis. That is good and that is bad.

    The best part is that I could not have anyone more understanding of how I am feeling or visa versa.

    If one of us needs a nap we take one, or both of us do. We know what the other needs and how to make the other feel a bit better.

    Though he has not been ill as long as I have he certainly knows what I deal with.
  8. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    mostly housebound and in bed.

    On a good day I can get up and potter about for an hour or two and then back to bed.

    On a GREAT day I can get out with my husband, in car, walk around a shop then back home and straight to bed - the following day I can hardly move.

    I'm lucky in that I don't have depression or anxiety but I'm weary from the pain.

  9. Bruin63

    Bruin63 Member

    I go to my Dr. Appt's, do my labs, go to the Pharmacy, if I have to , but the Hubby usually does that for me.
    He also does most of the Shopping, after so many years, he dose't even need a list.

    I missed the Christmas Play, my Grand niece was in, but I just could not muster up the umpf to go.
    My Son and his family don't even bother to call me anymore.
    Saddens me, that because I am not able to help out, all the time, that they don't bother with me.

    I did manage to go to my 45th Reunion, and then I was sick, in awful pain, for 3 weeks. I usually am down for a few days, after an outing, but not lately.

    We do have tickets to The Dancing with the Stars tour, we have gone every year, and this year I bought tickets for the "Cane Section".
    Last year I could hardly walk out to the Car, even with the Hubbys help.
    I used to dance, so for me this is my Big treat, of the year.

    But I do expect to be in bed for days afterwards.

    I have been losing a lot of Bone densinty, on my right side, and I can hardly walk, because I also have. Arthrittis, and Chronic Pain .

    I didn't think , my life, would be like this,
    I don't think anyone did.

    This year has been very hard, on us, I have lost a Bro, and a Sis. and my Hubbys Mom passed away also.
    I hate this year, and will be so glad when it is over,

    Greatgran, I hope your Holidays will be kind to you, so that you can particapate in some of your Familys celebration, if you can't do not feel guilty, I look at it this way, I took care of them for years, and if I can't do it any more, well, their all grown now.

    Time that our Families took care of us, I know many People are Blessed with caring People in their lives, some of us are not so lucky, but I say make the best of what you can do.

    I read, and I love to Color, lol, keeps the mind busy while I am in bed, I can beat any 6th grader at coloring I bet. lol

    Wishing you a Happy Christmas,
  10. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    To each of you for your replies. So sorry we are in this boat but guess we have to make the most of it.

    After 8 to 7 years with this I think this has been one of my worst years but got to make the best of it, oh is it hard.

    I have a doctors appointment tomorrow but feel whats the use as he doesn't understand or knows what to do. Heck what can he do??

    Anyway, I want to wish each of you a great Christmas and Peace.


  11. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Oh sweetie -
    We need to get your depression and anxiety under control. You wrote 'sometimes I can't win'.
    You need to redefine what 'winning' is. I know that guilt is a biggie with all of us. We feel guilty for all that we can't do, for the burden we feel that we are on others. There is nothing we can do about it. We have limitations that we have to accept. If we were missing a leg, we wouldn't be able to run, period.

    I know it is so hard to feel well mentally when physically we feel like crap. But we have to try and work on one or the other. Right now I think getting your anxiety/depression under control might help you. Are you taking Xanax? Is that right? (or do I have the wrong person? my memory stinks! LOL) Do you take anything for depression?

    Can you get from your bed to the couch some days? Maybe feeling like you're in with the family some days might make you feel a little better once in a while. Can you watch TV with your husband? Rent a movie? Anything to take your mind of your illness for a little bit.

    Can you get dressed? I know that for me when I'm really feeling awful just getting comfy clothes on makes me feel a little better than wearing my pj's all day. It's a mental thing.

    What makes you happy - that doesn't require going out or a ton of energy? ..that you CAN do? Could you do a Word Search game? a simple puzzle?

    You are NOT alone. I'm sorry that your husband gets upset with you. That must just add to your feelings of guilt. Does he understand that?

    I'm thinking of you - I wish I was there personally to help you through this.
  12. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Thank you for your concern. When I say I can't win, I guess I mean I can't get well enough to do the things I feel I should or want.

    Yes, I am taking xanax and for now have upped my dose from 1/4 mg 4 times a day to 1/2 mg 3 to 4 times a day which somedays seem to help somedays not. One of the docs I have seen said I should up them to about 3 mg a day then another doc doesn't even want me on them. But they do help.. I have tried many AD's and haven't been able to tolerate any due to side effects.

    Yes, I do get from the bed to the recliner and most days I shower and dress. About everyday I have to go get my granddaughter so I still drive. She is only about a mile away . Then there are days I can do a load of laundry and always try to pick up a little around the house.

    Its real cleaning, shopping, cooking, traveling even short trips, etc that I haven't been able to continue to do.

    I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and going to take my husband with me and hope the doc will talk to him and try to explain this illness once the doc convenses me that I do have CFS/FM.

    What makes me happy, is to see my children happy when all is well with them seems I feel so much better. Not sure if you know about my daughter, granddaughter the greatgrans and the custody battle, which my daughter ended up getting custody. I tried to keep the little ones while she works and I think that is what set this big crash on and all the anxiety.

    Hope some of this makes sense. Today is a better day and when I have an ok day I am up, when not I am down. Like most of us.

    God bless and thank you so much.

    Have a Blessed Holiday,
  13. onedaysoon

    onedaysoon New Member

    I never go anywhere. I always feel miserable, but my misery is less if I just stay home. I don't even go to family holiday events anymore :eek:(.

    I don't even drive anymore, because of the way I feel. I have no freedom, but I guess it doesn't matter since I don't feel good enough to use it :eek:).

    I don't believe I have CFS, but what do I know :eek:). I don't have the money to go to the dr. to find out otherwise.

  14. karynwolfe

    karynwolfe New Member

    Hi gg.

    Unfortunately one of the main problems with CFIDS/ME is that any exertion whatsoever makes you feel worse, even on your good days (this isn't the case with FM, where mild exercise can reduce your pain). Every day, every hour, your symptoms can change. And it's so unpredicatable...

    I really second Janalynn's response to you. You can't always change what your illness is going to do, and you can't blame yourself for that. But you can change what you do with your days, and how you see yourself. You're still a great, loving person who might not be able to do what the rest of the world does, but you still have things that make you happy! I think it's all about finding your limits, accepting those limits, and then making the most out of what you still have. :)

    I'm 90% homebound (leave my house about once a week for food), and bedbound a lot of the time. I went out with a friend on Saturday (the first visit with anyone since October) and now it's Tuesday, and I still haven't been able to get out of bed, or even take a bath. It's crappy, it really is! But tomorrow isn't guaranteed, and for all I know, things could keep getting worse. So I want to enjoy whatever I'm still able to do, even if it's sitting on the couch for a few minutes while I drink some coffee. As I said in another post: As long as I can still stand, even if it's only for a few minutes, I'm going to do it! :) I also really enjoy participating on the forums at times like these, that way I can offer support to other people who are going through the same thing. It's a way to be productive even if you can't get dressed!

    I read all that you were still able to do on your previous post, and I say, go you! Congratulations that you got out of bed and picked up a few things. Congratulations that you drove and got your granddaughter. You could have said, "I'm throwing in the towel," but you didn't! Those might not have been the accomplishments you imagined a few years ago, but this is NOW, and you owe it to yourself to do whatever you can within your limits. :)

    I hope you can get your anxiety and depression under control, because those two things are going to make everything else much worse. Have you tried Zoloft? It's one of the older ones, but very effective for me, and I only take half the dose because I'm so sensitive to medication. I find many people who have tried a slew of other pills haven't ever been offered one of the old ones that still works!

    I hope you have more good days!

    *gentle hugs*
    [This Message was Edited on 12/30/2008]
  15. bobbycat

    bobbycat New Member

    I spend most of the time in bed I have FMS the pain is unbearable and it is taking my mind as now I have organic brain sydrom. My cognitive memory is very bad. It is progressive and progress differently in people I think it depends alot on the stressors in life. I feel for you take care. Bobby
  16. sharon5650

    sharon5650 New Member

    I am not saying I don't get out at all during the winter months, but I am saying it is so much more difficult than the summer months. It seems that during the winter months I suffer so much more, and the nauseau is just a killer for me lately, I am always sick with it.
    Although I work part time I have to tell you those 2 days are absolutlely killing me, I am in bed for the rest of the week recouperating (sp) ...I swear it's horrible. If I didn't have to work those 2 days, I would not do it for sure, as it causes me so much anxiety all week just knowing I have to go for those 2 days, but $$ is short.

    Three weeks ago I wasn't able to talk for about 2 weeks, I was so run down and so tired, I lost my voice, something that always happens to me when I am about to crash. I know that was because of my work, as those 2 days I worked 12 hour shifts, I feel like a hamster on a wheel and can't get off.
    Lately I am always in pain, my legs just ache, and the nausea is a killer.

    and now my sister wants me to go tomorrow to a New Years Day dinner, oh boy I wish they wouldn't invite me anywhere, they get so angry when I say no. I give up some people will never listen or care to understand..

  17. MsE

    MsE New Member

    Hi Greatgran. Whether or not I'm housebound all depends on what I've been doing. For instance, I took the bus to the Seattle area for Christmas and by the time I got home on the 27th, I was wiped out. Have done very little since. In fact, today was another day on the sofa. But as you suggested, sometimes it's just worth it. We know we are going to have to pay the price, but doggone it, it's Christmas! So we pay the price!

    Hope you are feeling better this evening. Oh, and yes--sometimes I doubt my Dx, too. It's the part of this me/cfs stuff that I find most difficult, I think. My own self doubt. We've got to get over that, my friend. Hugs, MsE

    [This Message was Edited on 12/31/2008]
  18. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    So good to hear from you..My grandson just got back from Seattle, he was there on business for a couple of weeks. He really liked it there and was given the opporunity to relocate but decided it was to far from family .

    I think about you often , how are you doing other than this darn DD that we are never sure of. My doc retired so am seeing a new one , not sure about him yet but the first thing he ask me to do is to not eat any sugar at all, he said I mean none except I can have organic or pure maple syrup. Also he wants me to take vit. d which I was low in, multiple vitamin, magnesium, extra vitamin B complex, fish oil, caltrate and 1000 units of vit. c. So figure I have nothing to lose don't mind taking the supplements.

    Oh, he increased my xanax...said I needed to keep calm to help build my immune system. I am taking .05 three times a day.

    Still having problems with granddaughter, I did post on the worship board if you want to read.

    Take care my friend and so good hearing from you,
    God Bless,
  19. MsE

    MsE New Member

    I left you a message on the worship board, dear friend. MsE