How many board members does it take to change a light bulb?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gapsych, Sep 2, 2009.

  1. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    I posted this on the FM/CFS board but thought that it is funny enough to also post here!!

    I love the last sentence.



    1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

    14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

    7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

    1 to argue to move it to the Lighting section

    2 to argue to move it to the Electricals section

    7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

    5 to flame the spell checkers

    3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

    6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

    2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

    15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

    19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

    11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

    36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

    7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

    4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

    3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

    13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

    5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

    4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

    13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

    1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.
    [This Message was Edited on 09/03/2009]
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    What a kawinkydink! I went to the library today for the used book sale and
    bought "The New York City Cab Driver's Joke Book". Price: ten cents.

    This is contained herein:

    How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?

    Depends on how much insurance the light bulb has.

    Thank you for your enlightening post.

  3. Pippi1313

    Pippi1313 New Member

    You forgot the 7 who would insist the bulbs should be changed to florescent fixtures, anyway.

    The 13 who would say "good point".

    The other 13 who would remind them of the mercury in florescents.

    & the 1 who will link you to a lawyer who sues corporations for mercury poisoning...

  4. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    And should I say creative?

  5. JimB51

    JimB51 Member


    "Good point!"
    ... and then there's the guy who skips reading the thread posts before his ... and states the SAME INFORMATION that four other people just posted. LOL
    (of course none of US have done that)

    ... and speaking of light bulbs (or lightbulbs) don't you hate it when neighbors leave their Christmas lights on all year?
    (notice how the Topic will now change)

    [This Message was Edited on 09/03/2009]
  6. Pippi1313

    Pippi1313 New Member

    You're THAT guy! The one who takes a left turn mid-thread!!!!

  7. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Nah, I don't care what the neighbors do; long as they leave me alone.

    I'm so old I remember when strings of Christmas tree lights had to
    be tested to find the bad bulb. Which meant you had to screw bulbs
    in and out, cause if there was one bad one, the whole string went dark.

    And whenever we all left the house mom would check the Christmas
    tree a couple times. She was convinced that if you left the lights on,
    the house would burn down.

    Still reading the Cab Driver's Joke Book. Here's one I never came
    across before:

    How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

    A fish.

  8. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    My stomach hurts from laughing. There are also some good answers on the FM/CFS board.

    Wait did I already say that? I think I am confusing this as I put the same thing on the FM/CFS board about the posts here.

    Rock, you mean you don't have to test every bulb any more? Dang!! I wish I would have known that.

    I love the twists and turns that often happens on this board!!

  9. Pippi1313

    Pippi1313 New Member

  10. JimB51

    JimB51 Member

  11. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    I don't think this is a bad thing. It is kind of like a stream of consciousness or possibly stream of our collective fog.

    Like life, I guess posts are ever evolving.

    I have no idea where that last sentence came from. Don't want to know. I need to go to bed.

    One more thing. Jim, is the B in your PH name stand for Beam like the whisky? At least I think it is whisky, LOL!! Answer only if you feel comfortable.

    [This Message was Edited on 09/03/2009]
  12. JimB51

    JimB51 Member

    hic up.
    Whatever gave you that idea? ... hic

    Actually, my posts are all alcohol free.

    A stream of our collective fog?? LOL

    Are we a sophisticated people on this board or what?
  13. jole

    jole Member

    Lol....couldn't resist.....Jole
  14. JimB51

    JimB51 Member

    What's with Rock and his "surrealistic" answer ... " a fish" ??
    Easy boy! Easy on the sauce amigo. LOL

    I forgot. Anyone remember what this thread is supposed to be about?

    (I'm enjoying the ride. (just don't know where were going).

    JimB (no not Beam)

    Hey kids. Check my post on Spirituality board. (I need the attention)
  15. Pippi1313

    Pippi1313 New Member

    "Stream of Collective Fog"...

    Wasn't that a Van Gogh painting?

    I think there was a fish in it.....

  16. Debra49659

    Debra49659 New Member

    I just got back from vacation...this thread is too confusing for me to follow. Why is a fish changing the light bulb?? No wonder fish some fish have a high mercury level!!!

    Just leave the dang(censored) light bulb alone, some fool will come along and change it (usually a man)! Beside doesn't anyone have a can't change a light bulb without fingers! Poor dang fish I aught to call Greenpeace or Fish and Wildlife!


    I can't remember who posted this thread but I can't thank you enough for the laugh!

  17. JimB51

    JimB51 Member

    The whole fish thing was started by Rock.
    If you're out there Rocker, feel free to jump in here with your "priceless wisdom".

    Anyway, I think one thing we could say from the sum total of our "streaming collective fog" might be this this:

    There should be a law that people take down their Christmas fish a week after New Year's day
    or at least turn them off.
    A Green Idea don't you think?

    EcoScientists tell us that if the whole country did this ... the amount of energy saved could power up Hooterville or half of Mayberry for TWO DAYS! Staggering when you think about it.
    Tired of high gas prices? Turnoff your fish.

    You might also like the thread from the post: "Two cannibals eating a clown..."
  18. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Where do you find the most fish?

    A question posed in the New York Cab Driver's Joke Book.

    The answer is: between the head and the tail.

    My sister has one of those plastic fish mounted on a board that
    sings and flops around when you push a button. And here's the
    strange thing: she does not have a painting of Elvis on velvet.

    Have to ask her if it still works. Think it was 10-15 years ago
    I enjoyed the performance.

    I concur entirely, Jim. A timely removal of the Christmas fish and the
    holiday guests can only work to the benefit of person kind (and kind

    And here's a strange bit of fishy news to most non-Norskies, the
    traditional fish served at Christmas in Norge is lutefisk which is treated with
    lye and frequently compared to fish Jello.

    Generally it is accompanied by lefse which looks like a flour tortilla but
    is actually made w/ potatoes. And for a holiday toast, the Norskies like
    Aquavit which is not an aftershave, but Norskie vodka. It too is made
    from potatoes.

    As the Frugal Gourmet used to say, "Eat your heritage."

    Although I have searched the net diligently, I have not been able to determine
    who invented the light bulb joke. Some historians have suggested it was
    not Thomas Alva Edison, but his twin brother Thomas Belva Edison.

    Some people think Belva Edison (cousin) may have been involved. Belva
    grew up to be a writer, famous for her plain writing style.

    So there you go, Deb. Always glad to be of help.


    [This Message was Edited on 09/08/2009]
  19. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    One Christmas I got my dad one of those fake mounted fish with the Sandy Claws hat. You pushed a button and the fish would sing, "Jingle Bells" while his head and tail would flop back and forth to the rhythm of the song.

    This very same gift was given to Tony Soprano in "The Sopranos" I think he even had a dream about the fish where the fish was symbolically someone he had killed and therefore "Sleeping With The Fishes". I remember the name of the person killed but am not brave enough to put it here as it is somewhat inappropriate. :eek:

    But then sometimes a fish is just a fish.

    I also tried to find the origin of the light bulb jokes but no luck. We need help here folks, as inquiring minds want to know.


  20. Pippi1313

    Pippi1313 New Member

    Which side of a fish has the most scales???

    The OUTside!!!!!!