How many couples both have disabilities

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Starla, Jun 17, 2003.

  1. Starla

    Starla New Member

    How many couples are struggling with two different issues? Each person having their own physical/mental problems? How do you cope? How do your problems interfere with each other?

    I feel like my family is a sit-com. It gets so humorous sometimes and not so funny either when issues collide. Just wondering how to keep my sanity.
  2. garyandkim

    garyandkim New Member

    into that grouping. Facet digeneration, IBS, Gary degenerative disk, stenoisis, has hand fusion and what I call rotor rootering on C5-7. Needs more. HRT, osteopinia, nonretorative sleep Both of us, and so much more, me CT had surg on on hand so far, ashma, hypothyroid, ostoporosis, Glacoma urologist is watching me for cancer development and more, We have 5 boys one Dxed and 2 others that show a few symtoms and the other 2 a couple symtoms but are trying to ignoir it.

    Sence of humor a must, understanding and going with the flow. We just take it all in stide and don't get freaked or uptight to ofton. We are lucky for our financial situation is sound and this is a great advantage. We don't have much left over.

    We say you don't have to be crazy to live here but, it helps!

    Take care, Kim and Gary
  3. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    My husband diagnosed with MS around 6-7 years ago, at the time he could handle working and functioning. He got hurt on the job around a year ago, not two herniated disks, possible surgery, may never go back to work.

    I was diagnosed with FM around 3 years ago.

    Our medications, the medicine cabinet, its ridiculous. We ended up getting shoeboxes, one for him, one for me to be able to sort meds out better..

    Most days either one of us feels good, and so complaining starts, and bickering, picking fights. Like who feels the worse, who is going to do this chore, go get the kids here, or take them there. Who feels well enough to fix dinner, do laundry, and the list goes on and on.

    The latest is who handles their disability the best. And its getting old, the fighting.

    Our children, they handle it best they can.

    Going through counselling, it helps some. I mean I am going through it, he refuses.

  4. Seagull

    Seagull New Member

    I developed CMP, FMS, Meniere's, bilateral carpal tunnel, and morbid obesity after injuries received in a car crash in 1992. All conditions, except for the Meniere's, appeared quickly after that car crash. The Meniere's presented about 3 years ago. I am on 3 drugs and a low sodium diet to control the Meniere's symptoms. I get non-drug pain management for the CMP, FMS, and carpal tunnel syndrome with chiropractic and massage therapies. I have too many chemical sensitivities that prevent me from being able to take any pain meds for now.

    My husband was diagnosed years ago with bipolar disorder. He also has 123 of the 124 symptoms of Delayed Combat Stress Syndrome (he's a Vietnam combat veteran). In the last 12 years, he has also experienced several episodes of TIAs, which have left him with chronic severe migraines that he deals with on a daily basis. He gets a 2 mg shot of Staydol every couple of months to help control the pain levels of the migraines when they rise too high to cope with. Otherwise, he takes regular doses of Vicoprofen every day to deal with the pain. His doctors also believe he may have ADD, which could explain his inability to relax. It's like living with a butterfly -- he constantly zips from one activity to the next and cannot understand why I can no longer do that with him. This of course is frustrating to him.

    Needless to say, we seldom have days that are restful or uneventful. It is easy for both of us to get on each other's nerves, often for no apparent reason. We are glad to have the type of room layout in our home that we have. There are two living areas -- one at the front of the house, where my hubby spends most of his time, and one at the back of the house, where I spend most of my time. So, we are able to get some relief from each other's company pretty frequently. At least, the arrangement works for now. :)
  5. FMayastigi

    FMayastigi New Member

    I have been dx w/ FM, CFS, DDD, APS, migrains, depression, obesity (the hardest one to dx LOL), & some others can't think right now. I am in the process of being dx (if I could find a doc who knows & cares) with either Lupus or MCTD. My husband had a kidney transplant 5 years ago so he is immune system suppressed & has HBP and cholesterol w/ triclicyride(sp?) problems.
    We got the large make-up travel bags, one for each of us, to keep our medicine in to seperate it. We have been doing things with our budget(trying to anyway) and have figured that just with co-pays we spend between $400-$500 a month on medicines. Makes you just want to go to bed save the money take a cruise and start all over again.
    There are often times that I feel that I should be able to be stronger because he went through the transplant and is back to work and is the only income in the house. We have one son and he is about the only job I can handle and there is alot that he does that I feel bad about him doing but I just can't. I do often worry that he will end up with something that one of us has and that he should be allowed to be a kid and not have to help do so much. Well, anyway that is our story. Thanks for listening.
    Tammy
  6. larayne

    larayne New Member

    I have been in 2 major car accidents. Both times I was in the back seat and another car speeding rear ended us. Both times spent time in the hospital. Severe whip lash and back injuries. Then several other things happened such as getting very sick after having to take the swine flu shot. I literally thought I was going to die. While in the hosp. they discovered I had Mono. After that my legs hurt so bad I thought This is the end. I must digress a bit and say when I was about 9 I was skipping and having fun and my back went out of place. I can still remember it well. The horrible pain and my hand was touching the side walk while still standing. I couldn't move. Two other little girls were with me and they tried to straighten me up and I screamed in pain. They then went to my grandparents and got the wagon but I couldn't get in it. My grandparents were taking care of me at the time. My grandfather ran to me but when he touched me I would scream. The pain was so bad I couldn't even cry. A chriopractor lived next door to my grandparents and he came and held my tailbone a certain way and I could move my legs a little and he got me to the house and into my grandparents bed. He thought it was polio as my cousin had it at the time and we played together. He said he was reading about Sister Kinny and he came to the house three times a day and wrapped me in hot wool and then massaged the legs and moved them. I couldn't move them for 42 days. The first movement was my big toe and I had to learn to walk all over again. I missed almost a year of school due to this. But I WALKED!. I still have a different walk. When I was a bit older my back was so painful and my parents took me to a specialists and he put me in a steel brace from my neck to my hips. I had to get new ones as I grew. The crutches that were attached were able to be screwed and made larger at times. Now I remember crying myself to sleep almost every night due to my legs hurting so bad. This was before the skipping incident. I was taken to many doctors and they said it was growing pains. Nothing was ever done for them. When I was a freshman in highschool I refused to wear the brace anymore. I always had back trouble but I got married and had three children. In '58 I started to have migraines. I was expecting my 3rd child by then. Then I had an undiagnosed fever that was self limiting. (They said that meant it cured itself so never questioned it) I developed severe pain all over my body and the doctor diagnosed it as fibromyosistis or something like that which is the same thing as FMS . They changed the name of it. I was doing good and working but had arthritis (osteo) and was put on Voltarin, 10 years ago I developed an ulcer that perferated into the artery and I almost bled to death. I had to retire then. Right before I had the bleed I had my mother in the hosp and my husband was working and caught his hands in a metal lathe and they rolled backward crushing both hands and wrists. The left being the worse. They did a radial shortening where they cut the bones in two and removed a bit and then pulled the bones together and put a plate in to hold them together. He was unable to use either hand as the fingers were in a contraption that pulled them up and also had a brace on the arm. I had to take complete care of him. Bathe him every am, brush his teeth, shave and dress him. He had to be fed , taken to the bathroom and also to therapy every AM. Of coarse he couldn't drive. He was so bad he developed some mental problems as he had all dignity taken away. This was so bad for him. At this time I was working evenings and graveyard shift so I could care for him. I would do all for him and take him to the bathroom and leave for work. When our son got off work he would come (he lived 40 miles away) and fix his supper and feed him and stay with him until 9 or 10. He would feed him a dish of ice cream and pot him and put his PJ's on and put him to bed. Leave as he needed to go home to his family and rest to go to work the next day. This went on for a year like this. In between he had 8 nerve blocks and so many things done but he has his hands ! He still has a lot of pain and now the screws are loose so might have to have surgery again. He wears a brace on the left. However right after he was well enough to drive. (He could use the right hand ) he had a heart attack. This was touch and go and he required a lot of care again. He had to retire. He hadn't worked for over a year anyway. They refused him disability SS as he was old enough to get SS. We were not smart enough to argue as we just needed the money to live on and took what we could. That is when I had my bleed. Along with the FMS, and the major bleed. (the doctor that met the unit said he still can't believe I lived as I lost most of my blood) I was unconscious and in intensive care . I received 14 U blood plus packed cells and plasma. I had to retire. He has now developed Bronchial Asthma and he almost died from that. He has to take it easy and use the nebulizer, Inhalers, and several other drugs. Yes, we have alot of pain and we moan and groan alot but we keep hanging in there. The doctor says I had better get a different house as stairs are getting worse and worse for me. Another problem. Sometimes we just don't know what to do. We enjoy our good days and our bad days take care of one another. He helps with the house work but will not cook. If I am having a real bad day we have cereal and banana or something like that. We are hurting alot but we are also grateful we have each other yet. Oh another thing we have a dog that has her aches and pains also but she gives us so much pleasure we take care of her. I could write a book on her but I have really written too much, but remember you can turn me off. Cheers and warm fuzzies LaRayne
  7. Starla

    Starla New Member

    Thanks for all your post. It is always comforting to know that you aren't alone.