How many lost a parent when you were young?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kholmes, Jun 8, 2006.

  1. kholmes

    kholmes New Member

    I know this is a rather personal question, but I've been curious about this.

    My mother died suddenly, when I was fourteen. I don't believe my ensuing shock or grief over her loss or caused my CFS, but I suspect it may have weakened my immune system during my teen years, making me more susceptible to it later.

    I also believe that CFS and Fibromyalgia are completely physical illnesses, (there are countless sufferers who have, frankly, simply not had any enormous losses in their lives such as the death of a parent), but I wonder how issues of grief relate to them.

    If you're willing to share this information, I'd be very curious to see how many of us also lost a parent as a child or teenager. I hope that those who would rather not post about issues of loss or grief would feel free to "lurk," to see how others respond to my post. Much thanks.

    Sincerely,

    Kholmes
  2. claudiaw

    claudiaw New Member

    My mom died of melanoma when I was 17 yrs. old.

    I think this is part of my FM problem.

    Claudia
  3. lenaw70

    lenaw70 New Member

    My dad died when I was 15 of kidney cancer. He lived only 3 months after diagnosis...was VERY fast. I was a daddys little girl...VERY VERY VERY hard core time in my life. My first love boyfriend moved away from me only one month after dad died...lost TWO loves within one month.

    I wander if Fibro is post tramatic stress related sometimes too.

    There have been theories and rumors, but not sure.
  4. Jo29

    Jo29 New Member

    when I was 22 years old and eight and a half months pregnant.

    I am an only child and my parents were divorced so I was responsible for my father's funeral expenses. He had absolutely no insurance. I had absolutely no money.

    To say the least, it was a very stressful time for me.

    My dad was an alcoholic and was very drunk when he killed himself. Alcohol will kill you one way or another.

    Jodi
  5. woofmom

    woofmom New Member

    My dad died from a cerebral hemorage when I was 12. He had high blood pressure caused by his being an alcoholic.
  6. dleaning

    dleaning New Member

    when my mom died. I was 35 but pretty much that was when I really went down hill. She died 5 min. after my birthday was over, and I haven't been the same since, and then I lost a baby 10 months later, a little girl, for reasons we still don't know. That was 7 years ago.

    Mom and I were extremely close. She was the one I turned to for everything.
  7. aka1977

    aka1977 New Member

    I lost my dad when I was 23 just starting the process of planning my wedding. He passed of an unexpected heart attack, no one could get ahold of him one evening, so being I lived close I went to check, and I found him deceased, most awful day of my life so far. I was a total daddy's girl. All my fm, depression, & anxiety started shortly after. I'm no longer able to work since 2001, and I still miss my dad terribly, People say it gets easier with time, I find I just miss him more everyday.

    Aka1977
  8. Hope4Sofia

    Hope4Sofia New Member

    He died of colorectal cancer when I was 10. He was 42.

    I have felt the impact of his death in stages over the years. It really hit me hard when I was about 17-18.

    My father was very symptomatic (of FM) but they didn't have that diagnosis back then and I don't think he understood what was wrong with him.

    Sofi
  9. mrsED

    mrsED New Member

    My Mom died when I was 15 of breast cancer. She had been ill for 5 years before she died.
    I'm sure it has effected me in ways I don't even know.

    I just watched the DVD "Show Me where it Hurts", among others things they talk about how stress effects dopamine levels. I have to watch the DVD again to understand this better, but the point is, what greater stress than losing a parent at a young age?

    We can empathize with each other over this awful loss. I really do wonder what part this plays.

    MrsEd
  10. Aeronsmom

    Aeronsmom New Member

    my dad died when I was 18 and my oldest son turned 1 and 3 days after my son turned 1 my dad died of a massive heart attack..it just about killed me cause I was daddy's little girl..it's 20 yrs later and it still feels like he just passed away..I miss him soooo much.

    Ann
  11. painandagony

    painandagony New Member

    Besides having both my parents, I still have 3 grandparents. I haven't had or didn't have any big issues with my parents growing up.

    Hugs
  12. sfrazier

    sfrazier New Member

    my dad died when i was 16. he had lukemia for two years so we saw him slowly waste away. I was very much a daddys girl. The funeral almost killed me. My youth minister came back from vacation cause he had heard about the death and he was the one that carried me back to the car. Three months later I was raped by someone that I knew. Police couldn't prove it. It wouldn't surprise me if Fibro is somehow related to PTSD. They tell you stress is not good for your body and that you need to lower it but when you have PTSD stress is such a natural part of who you are getting rid of it is not that easy. Hence that is why i'm going to a therapist. lol.
  13. Beadlady

    Beadlady Member

    dad killed himself. I don't remember much of the death, just a lot of people crying and spending time at the neighbors.


    When I was 10 my mom died of a cerebal hemorage. I was really close to my mom. Looking back & remembering on the aches & pains she had I really think she had Fibro--but that wasn't even a word then. She died in 1969.

    And, 14 years ago my brother killed himself. I was close to him too. It really rocked me to the core and about a year later a very close friend died.

    I think my Fibro symptoms started around 1993--I've been looking for some of my old medical bills to confirm some of my medical issues from that time slot.




    [This Message was Edited on 06/08/2006]
  14. maggie_d

    maggie_d New Member

    I lost my mom - my best friend to leukemia, when I was 21 - one month after my wedding. I then lost my Dad to a heart attack when I was 32, my brother and I found him at his home. My symptoms started when I was in my 20's, I am now 42. I have a very hard time on Mother's and Father's day as no matter how many years pass I feel the tremendous loss.

    I still read grief recovery books and have attended a support group in the past, but out of the blue the loss really hits me in the heart like a ton of bricks.

    Maggie
  15. 1975jet

    1975jet New Member

    My mother died when I was 33 to an unknown bowel disease. She was my best friend, my dad is also gone now- I try and talk to them everyday to give me answers - my heart goes out to all of you, it is truly a loss you never quite get over.

    XXXOOOO Kisses and Hugs
  16. bozey

    bozey New Member

    My Mom passed away 36 years ago of cancer when I was 17. But my Dad didn't pass til 2002 and I think that is what put me over the edge. That is when I started with FM and CFS symptoms.

    bozey
  17. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    My mother died when I was 24.

    M.
  18. onlythestrong

    onlythestrong New Member

    My mom died of cancer also.
    Take Care,
    Mary
  19. Aberlaine

    Aberlaine Member

    When I was three years old, of leukemia. The family closed around my dad to help him with his two babies (I also had a brother age 1 1/2 years). No one ever talked to my brother and me. For most of my life, I just thought I had been such an awful child, that my mom left us.

    It wasn't until I was 12 years old that my step-mom told us the truth.

    When my soulmate died of lung cancer in 2000, I think it brought all those grief issues back to the front. And that's when FM reared its ugly head.

    Nancy
  20. Staceymarie

    Staceymarie New Member

    when I was 10, of breast cancer.