How many of you got pregnant/had kids AFTER diagnosis?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by meowchowchow, Sep 16, 2005.

  1. meowchowchow

    meowchowchow New Member

    I'm getting married in january to a wonderful man. I want kids but am scared. Will my body be able to handle pregnancy and labor? Will I have the energy to spend with kids and raise them?

    How did pregnancy and labor affect your CFIDS?

  2. orachel

    orachel New Member

    GREAT post. You just asked some of the "hard" questions that I hadn't really gotten up the gumption to ask (or have answered, if that makes any sense!). So thanks for the post, and I hope we get some good info. I have EXACTLY the same worries, and when I hit 30, my baby "pangs" seemed to quadruple! But I'm terrified I physically won't be able to handle it...or goodness forbid, have children and then not have the "energy" to devote to them all they deserve from a loving and supportive mommy. Terrified, quite frankly.

    Worst case scenario in my book (though this would really really really hard for me to accept) is to realize that its really not possible for me to do everything to care for an infant or toddler...which would be traumatic. But hubby and I have said that if that's the case, we'd possibly look into adoption of an older child, who needs extra love and a family, but who would be a lil more "self sufficient" physically...does that make sense? lol

    Thanks for your courage in asking these questions!
  3. orachel

    orachel New Member

    I'm being totally nosy here...(like that's any different from my usual, right?) but I noticed you're getting married in Jan. CONNGRATULATIONS!!!

    I don't know if you're having a wedding, or eloping, or bopping off to JofP, but I just wanted to offer any help you might POSSIBLY need! I'm a wedding fanatic...planned my entire shebang on the internet, and have some UNBELIEVABLE referrals for all types of services from internet. Spent like 8 mos myself doing nothing but researching wedding on net. So if you need ANYTHING, from referral to great handmade invitations, or the cheapest calligrapher known to mankind (she was amazing!), or favor makers, or idea for beautiful gifts I was easily able to make myself for guests (super cheap, too!), or ideas for bridal party gifts, or the best selection of headpieces/handmade veils, to a great template for handmade programs, to best sites to get amazing fonts and stuff for all sorts of uses, to rosepetals....anything at all, You just don't hesitate to ask, OK? It would be my absolute pleasure to help in any way, and I'm also stuck home right now, bored to tears! LOL
    I also know how insanely FRAZZLEY it can be planning a wedding, and I can't imagine how strong you must be to be doing it while also struggling with this DD.

    Congrats, again!!
    And you can always page me on the board, for anything.
    Rach, again...
  4. meowchowchow

    meowchowchow New Member

    RAchel -'s nice to know there are others out there who have the same children concerns as I. And thanks for the wedding help offer! I think everything is mostly under control We're trying to keep it pretty low stress because I couldn't handle a big stressful wedding! It would just be too much for me.
  5. snooker11

    snooker11 New Member

    Yes, that is exactly the same question I ask myself. Will I be able to take care of my child? can I go through prenancy without medication? what if I pass this on the my child? Raising a child is risky business. I guess you have to weigh out these factors and decide for yourself. I am also looking into adoption...

  6. Mareeok

    Mareeok New Member

    I developed RSD before I got Fibro and at the time didn't even have a name for it yet and was getting no help from doctors. I was scared to death about pregnancy and worse regarding labor and delivery. How would my body hold up with the pain my back and neck were in?? It turned out that the RSD went into complete remission when I got pregnant and I stayed in remission till my second child was two yrs old (about six years). She explained that progestrone is very beneficial regarding chronic pain. And when we are pregnant our bodies are soaked in progesterone. My doctor, not too long ago, attended a huge conference where this very issue was being talked about (an idea she's been wondering about for a long time she said). I just bought a book she recommended entitled "Are Your Hormones Making You Sick" by Eldred B Taylor MD and Ava Bell-Taylor MD. I haven't read it yet.

    I don't know how successful this actually is with RSD and FM but I know what happened to me so it may be something to read up about.

  7. Beckula

    Beckula New Member

    I have been married over a year and I have asked this same question a while ago.

    Here is the thread:

    I hope to one day be at peace with whatever I decide, but right now, I don't want children...but I go back and forth on this. A LOT.
  8. spasco

    spasco New Member

    I am not sure if this will be of any help, but, I got FMS and Crohn's Disease while I was pregnant for my 2nd and last child. I somehow managed with 2 babies and 2 diseases. Mind you there were days when I had to have help, and it will not be easy, but it is do-able. The thing that bothered me most is that I was less tolerant of things than a "normal" mom would be. I got impatient more quickly. Also, I couldn't go to the Basketball, etc games because I couldn't bear to sit on the bleachers. You may not be able to play with them as much as you'd like to, but you can still cuddle them and read to them!

    God bless! Stephanie
  9. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    so though I know I had FM then it wasn't severe back then. I had a really bad time with back pain in both cases, and for the full nine months. I wasn't on medication then either and didn't even take aspirin while I was pregnant. Deliveries were easy for me though, go figure.

    I think we do what we have to when it comes to our children. You might have to find different ways of doing some things, make changing tables at the right height to avoid back pain, lifting from a seated position and various ways to make it easier for you. But that all lasts a relatively short time. The terrible twos are the biggest challange probably, which actually should be called the chasing
    2's and 3's, when you are running after them to keep them out of things that might hurt them. LOL! Good locks
    on cabinets etc save a lot of that..
    and clearing any and all possible dangers off tables and within reach of a curious toddler.

    I am sure you will do fine and children do seem to sense when a parent has special needs. I've read of blind women, women wheelchair bound and all sorts of handicaps raising children successfully. I think it's all in your determination to do your best, which is all ANY parent can do. No matter WHAT you do
    or how you do it, no matter how much you love and nurture..noone ever gets it all right. So just try to do a little better than your mom did and all will be fine.

    Most women put it off thinking for one reason or another they may not do
    it well, but if they end up having kids they find the money, the time, the disabilities etc all fade away in the most perfect form of love God ever gave a woman. No matter how they turn out, no matter what they end up
    doing with their lives you will never feel a love like it. I even find my
    children's skin feels unlike any other human on earth. Both of mine are in their 30's now, one doing well
    but with severe FM and the other struggling through life, but I love
    them both and always will. It taught me what totally unconditional love really is!
  10. LollieBoo

    LollieBoo New Member

    How on EARTH did you make it through yesterday? The answer to that is the answer to how you will get through pregnancy, labor, delivery and childrearing- and that is exactly why I think you SHOULD. That solid perseverance and dignified endurance needs to be passed on to another generation!

    Like an earlier post noted: many varieties of "disabled" women have raised wonderful children. In this instance in particular, I would find it more appropriate to use the usually laughable, but more pc term, "differently-abled". You see, the difficulties that you encounter do affect how you parent.

    In my case, that has resulted in peaceful, understanding and very verbally-skilled and empathetic children. Mine are the ones comfortable with disability, because my discomfort has caused them to realize (even the 1 and 2 year olds) that different people have different abilities and are still really great, i.e.: Daddy will carry us, but Mama can't. (This results in a request from my two-year-old to "hold my hand, Mama" instead of "Carry me". I only had to say "Mama can't carry you- I will hold your hand and we can walk there together" a few times before she understood. My kids all know also that Mama is the one for a fun song or a good story, and is very sensitive to their needs. My son has become a very responsible 10-year-old, who loves his sisters and is eager to help me out with them (usually means the room gets DESTROYED, but messes clean up!). My children are also very obedient, as I have had to be very consistent, insisting that they comply with my verbal instructions immediately (using the 1-2-3, followed by a disciplinary "I don't like it when you...." and an age-appropriate time-out), as I can't afford to end up having to ever rely on my ability to physically chase or rescue my children. This, of course is all moot when Daddy is home, as he has a different parenting style.

    My children are not perfect; the one-year-old has her share (and three other children's shares!) of fits and tantrums, my two-year-old is quite proud of her brand of naughty and my 10-year-old has major responsibility issues-- but I am consistent and completely convinced that I am doing the right thing by my children by acknowledging my limitations and finding alternatives to those things that I can, allowing them to be involved in, but not weighed down by, my illnesses.

    This is a terribly long post already, so I will post another detailing my actual pregnancies, to give you all a break (and Rachel- you thought YOU were windy!).
    Little Lovies,
  11. jaltair

    jaltair New Member

    I didn't know what I had was fibro, just thought I must be "lazy." I hid my health problems until they surfaced in very weird ways. I started having FMS at about age 25. I'm now 58.

    How did the FMS affected my motherhood? I believe that it destroyed most of the joy I should have had as a mother by horrible feelings of guilt. I was tired so much that I would sleep when the kids were down for naps (I had them taking naps until they were in kindergarten!), and when they were home . . I would sleep on the sofa with one eye open. I think that I must have slept most of their childhood away!

    I was never one to want to do too many after school activities as I felt miserable most of the time; between my IBS and unexpected bouts of uncontrolled diarrhea while shopping, my aches and pains that prevented me from doing activities with them . . I don't think that it was really fair for my kids that I was their mother. They deserved a mother who would have been much more active of a mother.

    I, too, had always wanted children, but wondered at times "what in the world did I get myself into!" I couldn't have loved them anymore, I was just always feeling so terrible and never sure why. I just didn't know what FMS was back then, and I didn't understand what I was physically going through. I felt as if I were a failure.

    I hope this rambling makes sense to you. Today, with all the information and self-help as well as support groups, it may be easier to be a mother and have FMS. There are others on this Board who have children. Each person has a special story, and your's will be a very special story.

    I wish you the best in your upcoming wedding! God bless you and your soon-to-be hubby. Thoughts and prayers coming your way, Jeannette
  12. LollieBoo

    LollieBoo New Member

    I became pregnant at the young age of 18, after an approximately five-year history of undiagnosed FM symptoms. I was young, and my body was as healthy as I have ever been. Yet,I had an odd pregnancy, with some relatively minor issues with reactive hypoglycemia and low BP resulting in some scary bouts of syncope. Toward my seventh month of pregnancy, I developed preeclampsia- gained 35 pounds in one month! Had a terrible doc then, who should have been more alert, but alas! B/c of the preeclampsia, I had a difficult labor and baby was face-up, so pushing was exhausting (three hours!). In retrospect, I blame youth and poor nutritional and exercise habits for my lack of preparation and active participation in my pregnancy. (Sorry- it is looking bleak!) I became a single mother (as do so many very young mothers...) when my son was 5 mos. old. We synchronized nap schedules and he was a very patient, relaxed baby. I made it through alone for five years. I did, on occasion, have to call over a friend on a really bad day or two. There were also days, where I made sure everything was safe for him in one room and the two of us retired there, with me intermittently napping and participating in his play and he playing, and waking me up if he wanted company. His care was always my first priority, and I took whatever assistance was offered.

    My next pregnancy was also odd (1:1000), as it was a molar pregnancy that wasn't diagnosed until I was 12 weeks (the day I was dx, my uterus was the size of a 16-week pg, four days later, when I was admitted for emergency surgery, it was the size of a 20-wk pg.). That was a fluke, but it bears mentioning b/c it has relevance to my story... I had a lot of issues hampering my recovery... Hormones are over 10x normal w/ a molar, and I was advised to not get pg for 1 yr. following a normal Hcg, so that my risk for cancer could be assessed. Birth control caused MAJOR problems with my system... it took over 6 mos. for me to be "outwardly mobile" and to reduce the # and severity of my panic attacks following such that I could go out in public. Much difficulty with bleeding and anemia as well.

    In Sept. of 2002, I became pregnant (and scared to death!) with Maggie. I had done much research following both of my previous pregnancies, but I was nervous. I had maintained a healthy diet and lots of exercises aimed at strengthening abdominals and Pelvic floor since my molar pg (took 2 years of trying to conceive). I maintained that throughout my pregnancy. I was active, walking, stretching, squatting and doing "light" yoga clear through labor. I did have some episodes with "loose joints" and "bursitis", which was blamed on my stretching, with already-relaxed ligaments; and more of the syncope episodes that I had with my first pg (I still have them, but have gotten better at noticing when they are coming on and lying down- so not sure if pg had much to do w/ that- just that it was amplified and more frightening when I was carrying a child) I had noticed WAY more incidental aches and pains, fatigue and overall soreness, but chalked it up to being nine years more advanced in age. My labor was long, but easy, I kept moving the whole time, squatting through contractions, with my hubby applying counterpressure and humor. I pushed for twenty minutes and immediately after she was born, got up and took a shower.

    I felt great, but I had some odd pains that just never seemed to subside. I began seeing a specialist to try and figure it out. Four months post-partum, while I was still nursing, the specialist had to do a quantitative Hcg for some test she wanted to run and I found out I was pg. again! Hubby and I were excited. At nine weeks, I was struck with an immobilizing headache that crippled me for the next six weeks straight. I don't know for sure why it was triggered at that time, at first we suspected hormones, but it still persists to this day, even with my hormones back to normal. When the headache lightened up, only to return the next day, I called my GP and requested medication advice. I had tried all the natural remedies I could, to no avail. I was sent to a pain specialist who tried for weeks to find a suitable answer or relief, but we finally ended up discussing straight pain killers to get me through the pregnancy, whereby we could continue making me a guinea pig without involving my child. SO- from about 3 or 4 months into my pregnancy with Sydney, I was medicated.

    ****NOTE**** For those of you certain that you cannot maintain nine months sans Rx, take heed: #1 Hormones are wild things- they may change the nature of your pain, your tolerance to pain or even relieve your pain somehow magically. #2 if they do not, I was told that ACTUALLY, as far as the fetus is concerned, narcotics are the safest alternative for pain control during pregnancy. As the nature of my pain intensified and receded periodically, and my fears and worries for my unborn child grew larger and more detailed, I went from taking Lortab to Hycodan, a Hydrocodone-only syrup, to avoid too much acetominaphen (sp?), to Morphine, and back. I took phenergan for persistent nausea and vomiting. Toward the end of my pregnancy I was terribly cautious to limit the amount of pain medications that I allowed myself to take (fearing I would give birth to a drug-addicted baby). After all, I had endured the first six weeks of completely mind-boggling, unrelenting pain absolutely drug-free (not even Tylenol).

    As far as my physical health, I had many episodes of dramatic increases in pain, some with accompanying "stroke-like" symptoms, causing an ER doc to insist on an MRI- which revealed swelling around the vascular areas of the brain involved with the symptoms I had. I went on a course of steroids immediately, and became terrified of my head exploding during labor. (sorry- I'd like to tell you I was rational and a champ right through it all...) Anyway, by the time I went in to labor, I had dealt with so much pain that my labor pains were nothing. My mom didn't believe that I was really having contractions!

    By the time we got to the hospital, I was dilated to 5, and FEELING IT. I was also not dealing well with it. I had not been able to maintain the level of activity that I should have during my pg, and I had not been able to hold down much anyway, so I made concessions in my diet, considering it good when anything would stay down, even if it was Coca-Cola and saltine crackers instead of Red Raspberry tea and fresh Salmon. There was no such thing as squatting, and when they tried to give me Nubain to dull the pain, it only intensified, so they doubled the dose, figuring I had developed tolerance. Still no relief. I thought I would never make it through. They checked me one hour after my arrival at the hospital and I was dilated to ten- oh, no wonder I felt like I was turning inside-out! I was told to push, and three minutes later, Sydney was born: healthy, perfect and full of spunk! She weighed 10 oz. less than her sister, but was a healthy 7#, 5oz. She was watched closely for signs of withdrawal, but showed none. She nursed like a champ and has been a wonderful and healthy (if ornery!) baby. So, after all of my worry, what I realized was: I am actually pretty darned strong and I had not shown a reduced tolerance for pain, but a marked increase (dilating 5 cm. in 1 hour!)of intensity of pain.

    I still had my headaches and odd joint and muscle pains, but my husband and son are great with babies and there were days where I was just brought a baby to nurse and burp, then I would be back to sleep until a baby was delivered to me at the next feeding. That was usually on the weekends, when I was trying to "catch up" with rest that I'd not gotten being home alone with the girls during the week days. I am a pro at nursing in bed! Actually, at one point, I remember that that was the only place I could nurse, as I couldn't hold the baby comfortably in a sitting-up position. I am very unstable at times, especially in the middle of the night, I have a difficult time with my balance right after I awaken. My deal with my husband became: I always feed the babies, so all he had to do was supply me with a diaper, wipes and the baby and I would feed and burp and awaken him when she needed to go back to bed. It worked, and kept him from losing too much sleep as well.

    Keep in mind- in spite of any difficulties, time passes so swiftly when YOUR child is growing up in front of your eyes. Whatever you decide about getting pregnant, each child is a miracle, and that is always apparent during a pregnancy. You would be amazed at the strength you can find within yourself when you know you are participating in a miracle. And it only lasts nine months; your symptoms change throughout- you can't predict how it will go and no matter what, it will end. The first six weeks of having a new baby is enough to drive anyone over the edge of sanity, but we recover- you WILL recover, then they smile... The milestones stack up and before you know it, pregnancy is a vague memory and you've made it through five years of intensive parenting and they are off to school!

    Here's my theory on parenting with a "disability" (as if anyone cares!- but it's late, ny head hurts, and I can focus on this... so...I will indulge!): if you have an "only child", they will be easy for you to care for, because they will be very in tune with you, as you will be focusing all of your attention on them. They will be "the one" and, your way will be their way; only children are very malleable (within the bounds of individual temperament and the overall temperament of your household).
    If you have an urge to provide a sibling for your child; do- they are easy as well- they entertain each other and fill each other with love and attention and the times when they are older(and you would be surprised by how soon this occurs) they will occupy each other, offering you respite from being the primary source of entertainment. Don't fear your illness getting in the way of your ability to love your children.

    Once you know that you want a child (or children), and take that leap of faith, you can't go back- and your life will become driven by a desire to nourish and protect your children- not hindered by an inability to move comfortably. I would suggest that you do consult with your doctor beforehand to find out how he/she would deal w/ excessive pain during pg, and to haer their thoughts on it; stay active and eat healthy and keep a positive mental attitude.

    I hope someone found something wothwhile in all of my detailed reminiscing and proselytizing... I love my children and would never change a thing. I may yet have another, if I can regain some control over my symptoms! I don't suppose to know what is best for anyone else, but I think that one person's insight can trigger true feelings in another...

    For those of you wondering... follow your heart. For those of you wishing... Blessings and best of luck as you leap. For those of you unsure... wait until you are sure. You will know.

    God Bless,
  13. LollieBoo

    LollieBoo New Member

    1st of all - I just saw my last post on the board and it's even longer than I thought- sorry for the book, guys!

    kate- hang in there and Congrats!

    jaltair, I know exactly the feelings you describe, but you have to let it go... your kids did not suffer for your illness, you did what you had to do and you can't beat yourself up for that. I know how it is to feel "just lazy" and not want to make commitments to be a participant in your kid's activities for fear of having to cancel and being revealed as "unreliable". (I just had volunteered to go on a field trip with my son's class on Friday, but ended up having to back out last minute because of my FM and med problems)

    Don't fret. I think children need the opportunity to assert themselves without their mom there. It strengthens their trust in you when they hear your words echoed by someone else's mom. If you had been there at one of those points, when you weren't, they would have lost the perspective that was gained. Don't underestimate the power of the autonomy that your kids were afforded by your "sleeping". There's a reason you are their mother. it was not a mistake, and you didn't sell them short. They may have expressed disappointment at times, but I would bet that what they carried with them into adulthood was not that disappointment, but a deeper understanding and appreciation.

    Okay, so I'm rambling again... Sorry!
    I'll go to bed, now- chin up, jaltair, give yourself a pat on the back- you made it through!
    [This Message was Edited on 09/18/2005]
  14. meowchowchow

    meowchowchow New Member

    Thank you everyone for your thoughtful and honest responses thus far. This is a topic that I think about often! I hope even more people respond!

  15. cjcookie

    cjcookie New Member

    Just remember to consider all the things you need to before having a baby:

    Can you give them the type of life they deserve - will your husband be supportive? Could you do it alone if necessary?

    Are you willing to chance it that they may inherit this disease. I am very outspoken about this - I could never take the chance that my child would feel as bad as I do now. I couldn't live with myself if that happened.

    Can you live for 9 months with no medication, no caffeine, etc.?

    If your symptoms actually get worse, do you have a backup plan for care?

    Thank God for those of you who are considering adoption. I have six adopted nieces and nephews. There are many children out there that need a good home and love. Some of them are past the age that need their diapers changed or carried.
  16. rileyearl

    rileyearl New Member

    Tell you what, I could talk about babies all day long!

    I was dx with fm in July, 2005, but now realize I've had it since I was 15, if not longer. I just always thought I was weird. I liked naps better than just about any alternative!

    About having a baby with fm. When I was 47, I got pregnant with my first and only child, Ian, who is now 4. Due to the hormones I felt better than I'd ever felt in my life almost my whole pregnancy. At the very end of the full 9 months, my doctor missed that I had pre-eclampsia. It seems like a 17# weight gain in a week would be a clue, but that's what happened. My delivery was h***, but I think it's supposed to be. In my case it was because an inept anestheiologist joined the team with my nazi OB/GYN. Anyway, after a 15 hour labor, I had a C-section. Back in my room, Ian was having some trouble and making little distressed sounds. The nurse handed him to me for the first time. I told him, "it's Mommy." He recognized my voice and his breathing was calm. I was hooked! He is the best thing that ever happened to me. I ended up having to go back into the hospital because of the pre-eclampsia sticking around and finally getting dx. I was there another 5 days. The first night on a magnesium drip, I lost 14 pounds!

    So, how is it now? Ian is very active, but gentle. His dad does all the running around with him. They go to a coop preschool together and do all the shopping. He spends a day with my mother once a week and at 76 (with fm) she does so much with him. Right now I am not bedridden, but very limited in productive time--maybe 10 minutes in an hour. Ian seems to understand I can't do much and has no problem with hanging out with me in bed. He plays with toys while I doze. Our house is a mess. I think my kitchen floor might be HIV positive. House cleaning is near the bottom of my list of important things to do. Ian wanted me to take him to the state fair in the worst way and I just couldn't do it. Yes, there is some guilt, but it's outweighed by the joy.

    That's my experience. Everyone is different, but since two of us mentioned the pre-eclampsia, really watch for that. It is a DRAG to go back to the hospital when all you want to do is go home and love your baby! And show him off!

    If you do have a babe, keep nursing as long as you possibly can. Those wonderful hormones stick around through nursing. I stopped at 3 months and CRASH! Sorry this got so long, but there it is!


  17. Jeanne-in-Canada

    Jeanne-in-Canada New Member


    If you could talk about your baby experiences all day long, I could listen all day long. Your kitchen floor has HIV indeed, hah.

    My hat's off to you, first child, w/ FM no less, AT 47. You're my new hero. I've been wondering if I can, and want to, manage at 38. Now I see i'm just a pup.

    This has been the most entertaining and informative thread from you all. Please stop apologizing for long posts, I can suck this stuff up w/out a straw. Just keep posting.

  18. KimDC

    KimDC New Member

    I've had CFS since my daughter was 3 (she's now almost 8). When she was 3 and 4, we did just fine together at home all day. I was not able to take her to preschool, but we played, read, and watched movies in my bed. When my husband came home from work, he would take her outside to "burn off her energy". She only needed about an hour every evening of running around outside (we had a park only 4 blocks away) to be able to sleep at night. We did always allow her to stay up later than most kids (9:30 or 10) so that she would sleep until 8 or 9 a.m. Also, I have both sets of grandparents in town and they would come over maybe once a week and take her to do something fun. The year before kindergarten, we decided that she really needed preschool and that was hard for me many, many mornings. It continues to be the hardest task for me as a parent - getting up at 7 a.m., making breakfast and lunch, driving her to school. I nap during the day and then go pick her up at 2:30. So, it is possible. However, I have to mention that my illness has caused quite a bit of anxiety for my daughter. She worries about me. Sometimes she says, "I wish you weren't sick." At one point we had to take her to a child psychologist because her anxiety was taking over her life. He helped her. But, I cannot imagine my life without her. The 3 of us love each other so much. We're a team. People comment on what a great family we are. So, realize that it may be a struggle to have a child, but IT WILL BE WORTH IT.
  19. Jeanne-in-Canada

    Jeanne-in-Canada New Member

  20. hidlyn

    hidlyn New Member

    I was 29 when I got married and had CFS/FM for 3 years by then, but not correctly diagnosed until I was 30. I was very worried like you about being able to take care of a baby. Well, we went ahead and started trying. Turned out we had fertility issues that were not resolved with less invasive treatments so we had to do IVF. At this point I was determined to go ahead with things even though I thought I might have to leave work in order to take care of a child. In the end, I ended up pregnant with triplets. YIKES!! The pregnancy was high risk with lots of bedrest anyway, but the FM pain went away totally while I was pregnant. I had minor symptoms throughout pregnancy and up until the babies were 5 months old I had some relief from the CFS too thank goodness. I also had to hire help through the first 12 weeks which probably took off the brunt of the work. After that though I crashed. I pushed through by myself until the kids were 11 months old and then cried to my mother that I couldn't take it anymore. Every time I had to jump out of bed to tend to someone's cry I thought I scream from the pain in my feet. My fatigue left me impatient with them at times and that is what finally prompted my parents to find some part-time help for me. It's been very difficult.

    BUT...... They are the reason I'm doing as well as I am. A child can give your life purpose like no other and can push you when you think you can't go on. Looking back on all of it, I would do it all again. They are 2 years old now and my life didn't really begin until I had those babies. I love them more than myself.

    I believe if you want a child, it can be done and you might want to make arrangements during your pregnancy to have help or to have a little less to do at work. You might also discuss a C-section with your doctor, but only if you progress to the point that you're just unable to work at it anymore. There are times where I feel like my illness may cheat my kids out of a more active childhood where Mommy can play ball and run around outside with them, but they don't seem to care. Mommy is the one they run to for comfort and celebration of their accomplishments. I'm the one they run to for cuddling and loving. And I hope in their teen years I will be the one they turn to for advice, not for playing football outside (which I used to do very well by the way).

    So, my advice I guess would be plan ahead for what might happen, the worst case scenerio, and then hope for the best. It will probably be somewhere in between. I believe it is ALL worth the effort in the end.

    Take care and good luck.

    [This Message was Edited on 09/20/2005]

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