How many of you have lost your faith in God due to your illness??

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by busybusymom, Dec 22, 2005.

  1. busybusymom

    busybusymom New Member

    I'm just curious about this issue. I was raised Catholic and am married to a Methodist. Ever since becoming ill with CFIDS and then one thing after another, and the stress it has put on my marriage and children, my faith in God is pretty much zilch. I feel like a hipocrit though, because I still pray at night for my kids and that "tomorrow will be a better day."

    I have not signed up my children for CCD through my church in four years because of my lack of faith. My husband takes them to his church every once in awhile, even though they were baptized Catholic.

    I hear over and over that people's faith and strong belief in God has gotten them through the rough times. I suppose it's the vulnerability that won't let me try to believe again.

    Thanks ahead of time for any input.

    Jennifer

  2. darude

    darude New Member

    Been close but still have faith. I pray nightly for an end to these horrible dxs and hopefully will be answered soon. I can't beleive the suffering here!!!!!
  3. Jen102

    Jen102 New Member

    faith isn't "zilch". Keep searching. My faith has been sorely tested. For a long time, I asked the question "why?" But now I feel this is the wrong question. Faith and trust are required when we don't know the answers, rather than when we do. I read the book of Job. In it Job constantly asked "why." He felt the circumstances were unfair, and that if God gave him a hearing, he would see that things were unfair, and change them. Job didn't get much of an answer from God--just that God is above all things and all knowing and all powerful, and will do what is best. It is our job to trust. This along with the verses supporting the idea that God will work out things for the good of his people, have given me hope. Blessings to you. Jen102
  4. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    One thing that has helped me over the years has been to be able to vent to God my dissapointment with him, my pain and sorrows, anger at life - at him.

    Before I had cfs; I have had severe post-traumatic-stress-disorder since I was a young child.

    I struggled tremendously, and still do, about the evil that happened to me; and to other people in this world.

    Do you think it has something to do with our original expectations of what life should be - if we should trust God or not?
  5. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    I have begged, pleaded with God to please make my feel better. To take away the suffering. However, now I pray for God to show me the reasons why I have to go through this. What am I supposed to learn from this?

    Then I look around and see others with cancer, leukemia, diabetes, etc. etc. I know God has a plan, I don't understand many times, but I just remember......"my grace is sufficient for you." I trust him. We are being perfected in the fire and refined into gold.
  6. razorqueen

    razorqueen Member

    its hard to understand why we have to suffer, but it all boils down to sin. Not necessarily ours, tho that often will play into things ( concequences for our actions). But, God has us here for a purpose. We often find our purpose by seeking God and asking Him what He wants for us. If we didn't go thru anything, had no suffering, and life was all peachy-keen, what would we have to offer others who are hurting? I bet you've been able to help some one with the things you've experienced in your life. The way I look at it is if I can help just one person with the things I have suffered and gone thru, then it will have been worth it.
    Just think of how we all have been able to have helped each other on this board. I appreciate every one of you.
    But I know God is trying to teach me something, and often He has to resort to harsh things to get our attention, to put our focus on Him and OFF of our selves! We aren't here for ourselves. We are here to give Him honour and glory that His Will may be done.
    Blessings,
    Raz
  7. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    I was raised Catholic but now attend a Methodist Church when I am up to it. As a Catholic, you really get it drilled in your head, the value in suffering. They always say some people are victom souls, maybe that`s what we are. Victom souls suffer for the greater good.

    I do believe God is a loving God and I don`t think he punishes us. I believe we pick the basic plan of our life before we are born. I believe I choose to have this just as I believe a blind man chooses to be blind. Crazy as it sounds, that`s what I believe. So, I can`t get mad at God because this is my life plan. I still ask to be healed but I understand maybe its just something I have to go through.
  8. fairydust39

    fairydust39 New Member

    No I haven't!!! When my youngest daughter was hit by a truck --I ask God to Please Please let her live--and she did. She is in a wheel chair now. Several years later my youngest son died suddenly(10) years old. I thought I'd just cuss God and die myself. Then something said to me--I thought that you gave him to me and said let my will not yours be done!! And I was SOOO ashamed b/c I know that God knows the future and we don't.I ask God to please forgive me, for even thinking about turning my back on him.
    I don't care what happens to me,as long as I live "I will serve God,with all my heart and Soul".B/c guess what,this is peanuts here but when we get to heaven,we will get our reward. I will trade this measly life anyday for Eternity with Christ!! I,for One will serve the LORD!!!!
    Hugs Shirley
  9. razorqueen

    razorqueen Member

  10. kalaya

    kalaya New Member

    Great post,very real and raw honest.The peaks and valleys of life can drain all the fight and endurance out of us and there are times when we all are running on spiritual empty.Your anger and questioning if God is lovingly here with us or just an absentee land lord is a valid question and one that he can deal with.
    I think it would be perfectly well if you were to let God know how disapointed you are with him and your circumstances,this would hardly make you a Creaton or having gone over to satan.
    I absolutely do not agree on any level with the person who stated that we choose our circumstances before we are born like a blind person chooses to be blind as if we have all predestined our lives into little water tight compartments this is just not well thought out and in my own opinion pie in the sky absurdity.
    Who knows why these trials and misfortune befall us???The one thing we would probably all agree on is that they aren't much fun to endure,and if we had the option would choose different circumstances.
    To answer your question if I have ever lost faith in God my honest answer would be yes I have and I have very much questioned his love for me and others on this earth when suffering pervades human history such as my father going through the concentration camps with his family,then having his parents murdered by the nazis.
    Far far to many parallel situations like this for so so many,but inspite of this I firmly believe that what comes after this life will be wonderfull and well worth enduring this.If eternity is comparable to 1 million years then this lifetime is no more than the blink of an eye but the question is how do you endure the blink?
    I am certain God loves you which I know to you just doesn't jive with your present set of circumstances but some questions are simply going to remain unanswered in this life.I have never met you but I feel effected that you are hurting and feeling beaten down by life.I with your blessing will pray on your behalf that God will give you the stamina to endure your trials and the wisdom to cope with your circumstances and that he will protect you mentaly,physicaly and spiritualy.God bless and Merry Christmas.
  11. Angie812

    Angie812 New Member

    I have always had much difficulty in life accepting the fact that life is not fair and it is not going to be and doesn't have to be and the fact that the "good guy" doesn't always win.

    One day while having a pity party for myself with a friend and was asking "why?" That friend said "why not?" It kind of threw me at first, but now it makes sense. Why shouldn't I have CFIDS? Why should I be the one who never has any problems in life?

    There is a bigger picture that we cannot see. Somehow, in a way that we cannot immediately anticipate, this will work for good. I do not believe that this is some sort of punishment from God.

    It's hard to keep the faith when you are hurting. I have my doubts myself sometimes. It is ok what you are feeling and it is ok for the kids to go to their dad's church. It will give them another perspective on religion.

    You obviously still believe, or you wouldn't pray for your kids. You are just at a place of feeling resentful towards God.

    I don't have any answers on what you should do or how you should believe. Just know that your feelings are normal and that you are not alone.

    Angie
  12. catsmeow369mi

    catsmeow369mi New Member

    You know, it's funny cuz my minister said on Sunday that we should pray very hard for other people who have similar problems. He said that we will find we get healed by praying for others. I have been praying for a woman at my church who has all kinds of back problems. I keep asking God to heal her.

    There has been times when I have sort of given up on God & tried to ignore him, but I just couldn't do it. I pray every night& I just couldn't imagine not praying. I wouldn't know what to do before I go to sleep.

    I love God with all my mind, body & soul.

    Love- Val
  13. tanyasue

    tanyasue New Member

    That maybe you have faith, but that you are angry and dissapointed.

    I get very angry at time because I don't have the life I want. I see what others have, and I want that. But, I do my best to remember that in the next life things will be made up for. I really believe that even though this is brutal, in the next life it will be better.

    tanya sue
  14. busybusymom

    busybusymom New Member

    Many of you responded that I am angry with God, and you are all so right!! Nancy, I started crying when I read your response. I have been told by another woman in a marriage group my husband and I belong to that I should just yell my head off at Him and let Him know how angry I am that this DD has happened to me, and ask Him WHY???? I haven't been able to tell Him, but I've been able to tell my husband and therapist that I am angry with God. I don't know - maybe I am afraid He will really come down on me. I know it sounds stupid. I would really like to talk to a priest, but getting the guts to do that is another challenge.

    Many of you mentioned that we were picked for some reason to be ill. I do agree with that - I know, for me, I have become a more empathetic person and believe that something GOOD must come out of all of this. I realize that there are many people in much worse conditions, are terminal, have lost children or spouses, can't have children who so desperately want them. I know in my heart I should be very grateful that I am still alive!!!

    Shirley - I am so terribly sorry to hear about your daughter and the death of your son. My one and only friend lost her son a couple of years ago at the age of 9 in a tragic drowning at the lake. He would be 12 on Christmas Eve day. I can't imagine what she must be going through, and yet, she is up and running and has the most positive outlook, even when things are so terrible. I cannot imagine the pain you went through, and I admire your strength - I can feel it in your response.

    Thank you all for your words of encouragement and your understanding. I really appreciate this website because you can talk about just about anything and not feel judged!

    Jennifer
    [This Message was Edited on 12/22/2005]
  15. shep

    shep New Member

    Have I lost my faith in God. NO Never.
    Have I ever forsaken God and not maintained a close relationship with Him and pushed Him away and stopped communication with Him? Yes

    If I don't feel close to God? Who Moved? He never changes; so I was the one that moved away from him. Like the Prodigal Son, He was there waiting for me to come home where He could comfort and love me.

    I have been angry at God and told him off and vented and cried and blamed him and ask why lots of times. Why not tell him..He already know the intentions of my heart and my thoughs anyway..it is no suprise to him..I am not keeping anything a secret from him ..it is impossible.

    I don't know why I was chosen to have this illness..but there is a reason. Some day He will reveal all things to me. I am no better than anyone else to be sick. There are children born everday with serious illness with which they will suffer as long as they live..they are born sinless and perfect. They did nothing to deserve it..that is just life.

    The one thing I would regret is to live with this disease so many years and nothing good come out of it. If God can take me and my illness and teach one person one thing that will instill something in them between them and God..then it would be worth it.
    As an earlier post said, reading the book of Job is very helpful. Job said, "though they say me I will serve him'

    If I didn't have my relatinship with God to pray to and depend on, ...well I just would not be here ...I could not live without the strengh I get from reading and talking to Him. I talk to God just like I talk to anyone else..on a on going conservaton..not just a set pray time.
    I pray that you will come to peace with your reationship with Him and that it be one that gives you strenth and comfort.

    Shep
  16. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    being superstitious when I grew up.
  17. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Dear Jennifer,
    I, too, was raised a Catholic. You sound like you are going through a crisis of faith, and It is only those who are tuly spiritual, who do so.

    I have not lost my faith, but my concept of God has changed. I know He/She had nothing to do with my getting sick. I believe it is Karma, and an opportunity to become a better person, and grow in compassion for others. I believe that love and compassion are the way we become one with God, and compassion can only be gained through experience.

    About your children, please don't let your feelings impinge on their experience. A lot of people benefit from going to church as children, and a lot don't. Each person has to find their own way, and some feel that it should be done as adults. Some churches don't baptize or confirm people until they are older. Give them good values and a loving heart. Maybe they want to be Methodists, or something else. I don't think God looks at that.

    I think it can be a problem when people are taught that God is all powerful and has control of everything. Then, when really bad thngs hapen there is no real answer for why it happened. People say theat God's ways are not our ways, or some such thing. Then, when people see through that, the think they have lost their faith. They haven't, they are just piercing the veil.
    Logically, even God cannot be capricious, and if God makes one suffer, He is being capricious. A good God cannot do bad things, even if He wants to. It does not bear up, theologically or philosophically. I don't think He has anything to do with it, and has gotten a bad rap.

    Good luck in your trials. I'll be praying for you.
    Peace,
    Terry
  18. damz68

    damz68 New Member

    I lost faith in a god at 15, and questioned it until I was 15. Regardless of what I think, I do have faith in myself and that is very important. I think if there is a god he has no control over our health or well being. If he did than children would not be dieing of cancer, starving or being abused!
  19. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Reading your second post I was thinking also that you can bring that fear of communicating with God right to him.

    We tend to have confusing understandings of God when we are children, and he can seem frightening, judgemental, harsh, inflexible. So much depends also on how things were presented to us - sometimes our religious teachers had flawed understandings.

    But I see this as an exciting chance for you to uncover what that fear is all about, and perhaps work through to a more compassionate and intimate God.

    I feel like I am constantly having to update and question these things, but I am always coming out a winner because I believe that God wants me to know his realest self; and that he wants to meet me wherever my truest reality is.

    And I know that is all from his grace - his joy in knowing me - even when I feel like a mess.


    I think it was a beautiful thing for you to post, because it was so honest and real. And I think your faith is very much alive - growing and questioning and stretching out!




    [This Message was Edited on 12/23/2005]
  20. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I was raised Catholic too. I question the "church" and have lost a lot of respect for that.

    As for my faith in God... I try to keep it, and deep down it is there... even though there are days when I question, "Why do we have to go through this?"

    Still, in the deepest darkest moments... my faith is what pulls me through.
    Tigger