I have a question that I don't know if it's really possible to get an answer to, but I'm curious. I am still mentally fighting with myself about this diagnosis of fibromyalgia and what it means to me and my future. Some of you know that I am trying to train for a certification exam in September to become an AFAA Group Certified Fitness Instructor. I want to be able to teach a couple of times a week (cardio dance for kids, and now I'm also looking into teaching a class called Ai Chi--which is like Tai Chi but taught in a deep warm water pool). The problem is, every time I push myself enough to where I'm making significant progress towards my fitness goals, I end up in what I guess must be a "flare?" I'm still only a year into being diagnosed, so I don't know a lot yet about what's a flare and what's not. But what happens is I go from being kind of sore all over, to being in burning/shooting/stabbing pain all over, especially in my neck, shoulders, and hips. The other day we took our boat out to the middle of the lake and I was able to tread water fast and hard for over an hour without stopping for a break or to hold onto anything, and two days later I took a really high intensity cardio dance class that is basically like running, but with your whole body going in different directions. I was so proud of myself. Well, damnit if I didn't wake up the day after dance class feeling like I'd been hit by lightning. I start to hurt so bad I want to creep around the house like a little bug, and I feel like I could vomit if I bump into anything too hard, or even lay on anything too hard. I can't sleep from pain even. I'm not taking pain medication hardly ever anymore, and I don't know how smart that is. I'm really questioning whether that is wise anymore. But then I see things like interviews about this whole Michael Jackson tragedy and they talk about people addicted to painkillers, and enabling doctors, and etc., and I question whether I'm just a big wimp. Every time I end up feeling like this (I'm feeling this way right now, actually, and it's making it so hard to deal with my poor kids who are on summer break--I just got home from having to spend three hours in the hot sun at the pool with them and I feel like I want to curl up and die) I wonder if I really have fibro or if I have an injury of some kind that's just going undiagnosed? I don't know what to think anymore. Thank you for letting me vent. I try so hard to stay positive, and be upbeat. This pain is really getting to me right now. I don't feel like being positive right now.