How to be Positive?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Hippo, Mar 23, 2003.

  1. Hippo

    Hippo New Member

    I just had a long talk with my SIL and I think I put my foot in my mouth. I was candid, maybe too candid, about what is going on with my life and my health. She really let me have it, and told me I was too negative. Am I too negative? Maybe. I was just being honest. We have another thread going on here about trying to be positive. I am starting to think that the best thing to do is just pretend, or perhaps say nothing. I don't have any idea how to go about feeling better. I have tried so many doctors, therapists, self-help programs, and nothing has worked. I am in constant pain and constantly exhausted. I am thinking now that the best strategy is to avoid people except for superficial contact. When you reach out to somebody for comfort, they make you feel worse. Any thoughts?

  2. pinkquartz

    pinkquartz New Member

    i don't think its humanly possible to be positive all the time when you are as sick and in pain like we are.

    I try to be positive and wheni can't i tell myself that ok too.

    i totally treasure any friends or contacts i have that accept me as i am, somedays i feel utterly alone but that is my challenge i guess to keep going until i do feel better.

    we are all here on this board, mostly doing our best, we certainly have each other, and i know i am finding this place invaluable already.

    take care

  3. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    Some days I just give in and curl up
    and cry. I'm not sure that's all bad,
    it supposedly washes out some toxins.
    But that wouldn't be a good thing to
    give in to all the time. I personally
    try to work on my hobbies, sometimes
    watch an uplifting movie, on a beautiful day a few minutes of being
    outside and realizing a whole world IS going on out there helps. I write
    poetry and stories for my own gratification, some funny, some sad.
    I ask for hugs, I ask my daughter to
    come over sometimes, I email friends,
    I check out various websites with message boards on various subjects, not just these dd's. I give myself a
    luxurious bath with epsom salts and
    bubbles too. I put on my most cozy
    p.j.s and cuddle up with a pet. I play with a pet too. If I felt better
    I used to enjoy just sitting in the
    mall and watching life walk by in all it's many sizes, colors, dress and
    just the way people use their hands or not to talk. My dad once said to put on a smile and before you know it
    you're smiling and don't even know works sometimes and sends good messages to the brain. So there
    are a variety of ways to distract or
    help ourselves feel better..and when
    none work, I do the good cry thing.
    If you come up with any good ideas I'd love to hear them! Hugs, Bambi
  4. kerrymygirl

    kerrymygirl New Member

    Just posted a long note to you and lost it. So With my fatigue I will just say put on a piece of paper things that make you happy or smile. Also what you are grateful for whether it is just enjoying a beautiful sunset or that you can walk,or well maybe limp around?? I am in a flare,long one, know how hard it is to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I start every morn. working on my brain, I live alone so have to pat myself on the back when I do my projects, takes along time but makes me feel better. You know your not alone half of the posts are about being upset about how we are treated from ones we love to those docs. So put together anything that makes you laugh even past memories of funny experiences. I know I hate going to the doc, I always have to regroup after. Sweet Hugssss!!!!!
  5. Hippo

    Hippo New Member

    You guys make me smile!! I love the little butt icon too. You're right, it's not good to talk to my SIL, she totally doesn't get it, she has been sick very little in her life and has had very little loss (marriage together, parents still alive, kids fine, etc.). She cannot comprehend parents dying, losing your health, losing your husband, and losing your home. Also, her brother is my husband (obviously), and he is divorcing me, as I have mentioned many times in the past. He is trying to cut the kids and me off with as little as possible financially, and she cannot accept this. I need to be careful what I say to her.

    Thanks to you guys for your support! So grateful to be here in the presence of such brave people.

    [This Message was Edited on 03/23/2003]
  6. bejo

    bejo New Member

    If you find a way to be positive will you tell me? So called "normals" don't have a clue as to how we feel.I guess what gets me the most is that a lot of them don't even try to understand.Here is my only support and I don't know what I'd do without friends like you all.It gets very tiresome pretending to feel good,doesn't it.Some days I'd give a lot for someone to ask how I feel and care enough to really listen.Yep,I'm negative too, so don't feel alone.LOL (((((((((for you))))))))) bejo
  7. jka

    jka New Member

    you just cant be positive all the time.when you hurt all over all the time with out a break- its hard to keep yourself in a postive frame of mind. when i found out 16 yrs. ago that i had lupus, i found keeping a journal really helped me a lot. it gave me somewhere to put all my negative feelings and thoughts.i go back and read it no and am amazed at how i lived through the begining of the illness. you have to remember that life can get better.there is aways a light at the end of the tunnel.we just have to find ,light exercise and a good doc really help. find a rhumy that has experience with fibro.we are always here to listen to you. we do understand what you are going daughter and cousin also have fibro. also 2 women i work with have it. it helps to have someone to talk to.see if you can find someone who lives close to you that has it and you can talk to when you are having a really bad day.

    good luck
    kathy c
  8. Hippo

    Hippo New Member

    and wanted to add that my SIL cannot even remember the name of this DD!! She claims she has never heard of it.