How to cope w/ fatigue?? Please help.....

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Jorbax, Sep 17, 2003.

  1. Jorbax

    Jorbax New Member

    I just need some tips on how to handle this &$^# fatigue!!!
    And please don't tell me to rest....I do when I can, but I have 2 young children.....I rest while they are in school, but then from afternoon (homework, supper, projects) to cleanup to bathtimes I am a wreck. I am irritable with them as I can hardly think straight and their constant (esp the 5 yr old) babbling is going to send me over the edge!
    I have so much on my plate right now, and just when I think the fatigue is getting a little better after starting Wellbutrin for energy, it strikes w/ a vengeance again.
    I can't think straight, cannot concentrate and noise like the kids' talking or fighting drives me NUTS! I end up screaming at times and then the guilt sets in.......
    I hate this so much.....
    I don't really know why I am even writing this out here....Right now, I am feeling pretty pessimistic as in there's really nothing anyone can do to "help" me. I have a psych doc, but no point in calling her....only try to change meds or something, just went to Rheumatologist yesterday who just adds more meds...........I want OFF this roller coaster and NOW!!
    I know alot of ppl are worse than I , but I just am failing here at handling this fatigue, hence letting my precious children down.
    It is a battle I can't win and I am tiring of trying.
  2. DarleneWSerrano

    DarleneWSerrano New Member

    Ok, first take a breath. Like you, I hate to be told "stay in bed". Not possible when you are a wife and mother. Fatigue is worse than the pain at times. I have a really good Rhum. His wife has FMS as well. I was diagnoised with FMS/CFS and now they are talking about a new myfa.. something or other. Anyway, before the above diagnoised, the Psy doctor indicated I had Adult ADD. I was prescribed Adderall. It is a stimulent. I still take 40 mg a day. Recently, my Rhum has prescribed Provigil 200 mg. Between the two (I self regulate it as some days are worse than others) they keep me more alert, awake and have more energy than I would have without them. I also use supplements such as L-Tyrosine and ENADA that help with my concentration. Of course there will be days that nothing is going to help. But if I can co-exist and participate in my families lives, then I feel like maybe there is a reason for me to be alive afterall.

    Hope this helps.

  3. Hinemoa

    Hinemoa New Member

    And boy do I hear you. I really don't know what I would do if my children were still small.

    I have been taking CoQ10 and, just perhaps, keep your fingers crossed, but I think I've got more energy.

    Sorry, but I have to say. REST! You don't need to be told to keep some activity in your life, it's obvious you have enough, but a short walk can be relaxing and therapeutic. Remember SHORT walk!

    But you must rest. Rest when your children are quiet. Stay in the same room if you must, but REST. I find that it helps if I consciously deep breathe and concentrate on my breathing. I resist resting but I pay for it and after 20 years I am learning.


  4. Jorbax

    Jorbax New Member

    overwhelming......bumping for further thoughts from ANYONE!!
  5. fullarmor

    fullarmor New Member

    I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time right now. I hate the fatigue too. I don't have kids, but I have a husband, and a job working with the severely mentally ill, I'm active in church, and I'll be starting grad school soon. So I find the fatigue very frustrating. Here are some things I do:
    -If you can get help from anyone, do it! You didn't say if you were married or not, but have your husband or even the kids help with things around the house, like cleaning, cooking, folding laundry, etc. Anything they can help with takes the pressure off you.
    -I find cooking very tiring, so I have picked out about 5 or 6 different simple recipes that I really like, and keep all the ingredients on hand at all times. That way if I don't feel like making a fancier meal, I can make one of these simple recipes and it's less time in the kitchen.
    -Make sure you get plenty of sleep. Try to get at least 8 straight hours of sleep. I know it's hard at times, but that's one thing that helps me.
    -Exercising helps. But I mean just a short 20 minute walk every day, if you can. In a week or so you'll feel the difference.
    Those are the tips I can think of right now. Sort of foggy at the moment. :) I hope this helps. I'll be thinking of you.
  6. Donna39

    Donna39 New Member

    I am sick of this unpredictable ride too! Everytime I try something new I start feeling great for a few days and think this is the answer.But then it hits you again full force.I have cut out sugar the past 2 weeks and was feeling so gooood,I thought this must be the solution for me.Boy was I wrong,yesterday I started feeling like crap again,low glucose levels,depression,fatigue,aggravated etc....All I accomplished from this no sugar and carbs is weight loss,and I did not need that.Now I look like I feel xxxx.
    I have kids also, 16 year old and a 6 year old.I feel guilty too because when I feel bad I have no patience and just don't want to be bothered with simple things like homework. The guilt of thinking you are a bad mother for being like this is sometimes worse than having this DD,but I guess the 2 go together. I think that this is affecting my little boy because he doesn't understand.He is starting to rebel against me because he knows that if I get too upset he will just have his way.It's true what they say-"when moma ain't happy,nobodys happy".There is so much tension in the house when you are on edge,I feel like I am responsible for that,because when I'm in a good mood so is everybody else,and that is not very often.
    Why does it have to be like this? Why can't we live normal lives without the burden of this DD? Sometimes I wonder if this is really what I have,does anyone else?
    Take care,
  7. MtnDews

    MtnDews New Member

    Sorry you are feeling so low. I know that feeling all too well. Like Darlene, my dr put me on Adderall. At first it was only 20mg and I didn't notice any change. Then she upped the perscription to 40 mg. and that actually helped me! I have much more energy - still tired as the devil, but I can stay awake all day long. The only problems I have with the Adderall is on occassion, it keeps me up all night, but it's worth it. Ask your dr about this, it's the only way to keep up with little ones with this DD.
  8. michaele

    michaele New Member

    I would love to give you some great advice, but I don't have any. I am in the same boat you are, except I have 4 kids. I am sleeping a lot or resting in a chair. If I go somewhere---the grocery store is the big "hit" of the week, then I am SUPER wiped out. If I try to do any housework, within 5-10 minutes, I have to stop and rest. And----I don't mean sweeping, mopping, or vacuuming. My husband does all of that. I mean dusting, picking up stuff, and putting dishes away! I started Physical therapy last week and I can hardly walk when I leave. Yesterday, it hurt my leg to work the gas/brake pedals for the first time ever!

    I know how you feel "guilty" and this is not how you want to be a wife and mother. I feel exactly the same way. But, we've had lots of family talks and I have apologized to my kids when I need to. Just the other day, I lost my cool----I had missed my last dosage of my medications, was in a "I don't want to hear any noise" mood, and they were driving me crazy. After I yelled and cranked and basically made a fool of myself, I had them all sit at the table and I took some deep breaths and calmed down. I told them that this disease I have makes me hurt all the time and makes me so tired that I get cranky and I don't mean to. I also told them I forgot to take my med. that makes me feel better, so I better take it now. I told them I was sorry for being rude, yelling, and grumpy----it wasn't their fault, it was mine. I also told them that I try the best I can and no one means any more in the world to me than them and I am trying to deal with this fibro. I asked for their forgiveness and they relaxed and we all felt better.

    When I fly off the handle, I eventually sit them down and we talk about Mommy and her fibro. You know, they do understand in their own way. We even have a "joke". I'll say "Guess what Mommy feels like?" They answer in unison, "A NAP!" And I say-----yep! I am going to take one right now. Monitor the phone calls-----I'm unavailable and don't "bug" me unless it's an emergency (our definitons really vary on that one!) and tell one of the kids to wake me up at a certain time----usually 1 1/2 to 2 hours later. They take this OK and I tell them to play games on the computer (not internet) or pick a movie to watch or play games. I tell them a snack they can have (I make it a GOOD one) and they are happy campers!

    Yes, I feel I short-change my family a lot. But, this is what hand I've been dealt with in life and I have to find a way to work with it. I'm not saying my way is for everyone or even works some times, but I've learned that they need me and I cannot put their needs first when I need a nap. I try to make it "fun" for them while I rest, but the best part is when Daddy is home. Boy is that ever a relief!!!

    Also, when I feel a little better, I try to take one or two of them out for an ice cream, drive, maybe check out a movie, or something to make them feel special. This works wonders.

    Please know I've been where you are most days out of the week! I live your life. Oh, and here's another idea: if the kids aren't really dirty, have them take a 3-min. sponge bath or no bath at all. I did not grow up that way! BUT, skipping a night is no crime. Unless my kids are really dirty, they take baths every other night. The older one is a teen-ager, so he is nightly, but very self-suffiecient (thank God). He is a help. Also, in the evenings, where is your husband? I have him help with homework with one kid while I'm helping with another. If I am really wiped out, I tell him I need to go to bed and he is just going to have to do it all tonight. He is not the greatest (like he is not as good as me!!! hehe), but it takes the pressure off me. And------I know he worked hard all day, but darn it, when I worked full time, I came home, did the kids, house, and cooked. Now it is HIS turn to help. Your health is paramount. If you don't ask or insist on help, then your road will be rougher. If you don't have a husband, how about a good friend or relative you can count on now and then?

    Please know you have described my life and I am usually a wreck. I don't know how I am calm right now! But, I hope something I said might help. You are loved and no matter what, your family loves you no matter what.
    With hugs and hugs and hugs,
  9. alsu

    alsu New Member

    Hi jorbax..I feel for you Although i am a man,i,ve had this DD for over 20 years.I have no answer to the fatigue.I have tried to lern to live with it as best as i can,not easy as you know.Mechelle letter makes a lot of sense.I to have children,grown now.Don't be afraid to explain to them the way you feel,they do understand to there own level.This helps them to realize,you love them & they are not at fault its just your illness that makes you feel the way you do.Remember you can always say sorry after a bad day.As long as the children feel love they will always forgive you,because they love you to.What makes a good mommy is the love you feel for your children.Just carry on doing your best a they will be happy to have a mom like you. Hope this helps in some little way..Alan.
  10. Jorbax

    Jorbax New Member

    once last bump