How to FAIL with Dignity... ;)

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by victoria, Jun 9, 2010.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    These are real answers to tests. they do get an A for creativity, tho I wonder what they're doing now... are they working for our gov't, on Wall St., or where? Hope they're not continuing to make up their own 'solutions' at any rate....

    Q: Explain why phosphorus trichloride is polar:
    A: God made it that way.

    Q: Expand (a+b) to the nth power
    (a + b) to the nth power
    (a + b) to the nth power
    (a + b) to the nth power

    Q: What type of attractive force or bond holds the sodium ions and
    chloride ions together in a crystal of sodium chloride?
    A: James bond

    Q: Explain what hard water is:
    A: Ice

    Q: What is a nitrate?
    A: Much cheaper than a day rate.

    Q: What was Sir Walter Raleigh famous for?
    A: He invented cigarettes and started a craze for bicycles.

    Q: What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common?
    A: Unusual names

    Q: Name one of the early Romans' greatest achievements:
    A: Learning to speak Latin

    Q: Name one measure which can be put in place to avoid river flooding in
    times of extensive flooding (e.g., in Mississippi):
    A: Flooding in areas such as the Mississippi may be avoided by placing a
    number of big dames into the river.

    Q: Name 6 animals which live specifically in the Arctic
    A: 2 polar bears, 4 seals

    Q: How does Romeo's character develop throughout the play?
    A: It doesn't, it's just self, self, self all the way through.

    Q: Name the wife of Orpheus, whom he attempted to save from the underworld.
    A: Mrs. Orpheus

    Q: Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?
    A: At the bottom

    Q: What happens during puberty to a boy?
    A: He says goodbye to his childhood and enters adultery.

    Q: What is the meaning of the word 'varicose'?
    A: Close by

    Q: What is the highest frequency noise that a human ear can register?
    A: Mariah Carey (heart, heart)

    Q: What is a fibula?
    A: A little lie.

    Q: Explain the phrase 'free press':
    A: When your mum irons your trousers for you.

    Q: Why would living close to a mobile phone mast cause you ill health?
    A: You might walk into it.

    Q: Joanna works in an office. Her computer is a stand-alone system
    What is a stand-alone system?
    A: It doesn't come with a chair.

    Q: Steve is driving his car. He is traveling at 60 feet per second.
    The speed limit is 40 mph. Is Steve speeding?
    A: He could find out by checking his speedometer.

    Q: What is a vibration?
    A: There are good vibrations and bad vibrations.
    Good vibrations were discovered in the 1960s.

    Q: Where was Hadrian's Wall built?
    A: Around Hadrian's garden.

    Q: The race of people known as Malays come from what country?
    A: Malaria

    There were some that were visual that I can't put here unfortunately...

  2. Misfit101

    Misfit101 New Member

    Its an idiot. But i gotta say...anyone whos ever showered in SOFT water knows the difference. And it has nothing to do with ice! Can i get an amen?
  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    HaHa! I've seen similar lists before, but not this one. Pretty funny. I serially
    doubt they are the work of students though. Whoever wrote these must have
    been English. Note the "mum" in the free press question.

    My mother had a book of similar humor when I was a kid. One of the questions
    was about Solomon. The answer was that he had 300 porcupines.

    Do Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have anything in common? Well, both
    Asian men; both leaders. Both historical figures. Can't think of anything more
    specific. Same astrology sign? Same breed of goat?

    Becky, you're right. Soft water feels silky. Hard water tastes better. No
    ice involved.

  4. bct

    bct Active Member

    I sorely needed the chuckles.....

    Hugs to Ya!