how to motivate?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Jeramy, Nov 1, 2011.

  1. Jeramy

    Jeramy New Member

    Okay, I know I'm whining , but this is the safe place to do it right? Get some ideas? encouragement?
    I just can't seem to get motivated. I know my FMS makes my body tired and my brain forgetful, but seriously!!! Can I not do any better than basic household chores, take my kids to and from school and activities, watch TV, Facebook and email?!!!
    I keep attempting to dig through boxes of old papers and photos, etc. But I never get to it. I have a hard time getting any ideas or motivation to buy gifts or do something for family birthdays, I can't even motivate to dress in anything beyond sweats these days. Plus I'm in PJ's unless I have to go out. I"ve let my hair grow out and don't wear make-up anymore because I feel so lazy.
    I don't think I'm depressed, I find joy and appreciation every day but I'm just not motivated.
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Are you sure your problem is lack of motivation? Sounds to me like you are motivated
    to do a lot, but are short on energy.

    Rock
  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    It's usually when I'm not really sick but just not up to doing things. Lack of motivation expresses exactly how I feel. I think it's our bodies telling us that, as much as we would love to do something, we are not up to it. I've found that when I don't listen to the lack of motivation and try to push through, I get impatient and angry when nothing goes right. I've learned to let the projects lie until I'm really into it. When I start to feel better, the motivation goes up. I can feel unmotivated for long periods of time and it's hard not to try to push through but it just isn't worth it. We aren't lazy; we are sick. We can't do what we used to do and accepting this is one of the most difficult things we deal with.

    Love, Mikie
  4. rkidd3423

    rkidd3423 New Member

    I understand how you feel. I'm having a really bad flare today. I'm sitting at my desk...crying in pain...knowing I can't leave because the bills are piling up and I don't see a light at the end of my tunnel. Just hang in there and count your blessings every day. Do what you can when you feel like it and don't push too hard. My flare is bad because I took my daughter trick or treating Monday night and walked WAY more than I should have. I felt good that night but I've been paying for it the past 2 days. Like I tell people...my housework and chores will still be there and waiting for me when I feel like doing them! Prayers to you!

    Rebecca
  5. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

    Hi Jeramy!

    I totally get what you're saying about motivation! It's especially frustrating when you really want to do things but just can't. About the fibro fog I have found that since I have been taking Fish Oil my memory has improved a lot! Do you take MSM and or CoQ-10? I started taking them both back in Feb. and now have more energy than I have had in a long time. To get a little more motivated I write down a few small things I want to do the next day and find that I usually get them done as well as a little more sometimes! If my expectations are too high I tend to get lazy because it is overwhelming. So when I break things up I can handle it better. I don't know if this helped or not but I hope so. Good luck and don't be hard on yourself. Venting seems to help with all of our DD's esp. with ppl. on the board who understand and sympathize!

    Peace and Comfort, Julie
  6. Yucca13

    Yucca13 Member

    it is the old "the mind is willing, but the body isn't" kind of problem many times. I so admire people that have the energy to do a lot. I think I remember having a lot of energy when my four kids were little. I know that I've definitely slowed down more since becoming a senior citizen and having more arthritis to put up with in addition to fibro.
    I think routine tends to wear us down too. I find it refreshing when we get to go on vacation (every year or two) and experience new things. It helps broaden my horizons and it's nice to have the new memories.
    [This Message was Edited on 11/03/2011]
  7. Jeramy

    Jeramy New Member

    Thanks for your kinds words.... I live in PJs too, or sweats.
  8. Jeramy

    Jeramy New Member

    Thanks, Mikie. That is a really great definition! You're right. That is what I feel. Lack of motivation brought on by my physical limits. Reading your response I'm thinking that I'm also very apprehensive to do much for fear I won't have energy for what I really need to do later or the next day.
  9. Jeramy

    Jeramy New Member

    Thank you, Rebecca!
  10. Jeramy

    Jeramy New Member

    Good suggestions. I do make little lists but I often forget to look at them! And you're right that I guess sometimes I seem unmotivated because I'm really overwhelmed.
    I do take omegas. I also use American Ginseng which has helped a little. What is MSM?
  11. Jeramy

    Jeramy New Member

    Vacations do brighten up my heart and mind. ANd though I am miraculously able to go beyond my normal physical limits on my trips, I am knocked off my butt exhausted and laid up for quite awhile after I get home. It's good to get out and do something different though. Maybe I'll just try to do that locally more often.
  12. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    When I'm really sick, I don't care about doing much of anything; however, there are times when I have enough energy to take in the local tourist offerings. I'm not talking about the cheap touristy things. We have nature preserves, a planetarium, juried art shows and three philharmonic orchestras in our little area. We also have a theater which gets all the big broadway shows and singers, comics, etc. There is a LOT to do. All one needs is money and energy. Some things are free and if the body is willing, it's like a little day vacation. Even being active one day can bring on a flare so I try not to do things if I'm not up to it.

    I keep an ongoing list of things which need doing and I give them a priority letter, A, B, C, etc. If I have an A++ item, I know I have to take care of it right away. Once the A's are done, I do the B's when I'm up to it. The C's can wait. I put bills by my laptop and pay them right away. Paying online gives one the choice of when the electronic transfer is made so I can take care of it two weeks ahead of the time the bill is actually paid. VERY handy!

    I keep my car and house keys on a decorative hook by the front door. I made a habit of always putting them there so I never have to waste energy, and get stressed, looking for them. My shrink told me years ago that people with chronic illness need to be almost anal about being organized. Of course, first, we have to feel up to getting organized--a Catch 22. I bought a beautiful bulletin board and when I have something important to do or something that I need to keep track of, I put it on the board. I have a Daytimer but it's in my purse. Having that board staring me in the face keeps me from forgetting things. I often pick small, doable tasks for when my energy is low-med. It spurs me on once I get one item crossed off my list.

    Hope at least one of these tips helps.

    Love, Mikie
  13. sascha

    sascha Member

    i think it's a physical thing. physically we're spent, over-taxed from the disease, and with me my spirits plummet and i spend however long immobilized until a little energy seeps back into the reservoir. that reservoir gets drained so quickly and easily. and it's impossible to summon motivation for anything while down. there's no gas in the tank- the batteries are drained, etc. also not advisable to push on through it. can make matters worse.

    i have to work hard when i crash to not swamp myself with grief and rage. it is so demoralizing to not be able to do anything- to have pain that shouldn't be there, to feel helpless and hopeless for a time. must remind myself that i will improve, but when i'm down and out i have doubts about that.

    WE NEED A CURE. it's emotionally challenging to be constantly dealing with this- best, sascha
  14. Jeramy

    Jeramy New Member

    Thanks for laying out such a good explanation of exactly what I feel.
  15. Jeramy

    Jeramy New Member

    I like the ABC categories. We use an "A" basket, B basket etc system for my daughter and what's a priority concern or need's parent involvement.
  16. MsE

    MsE New Member

    I just found your post, Jeramy, and had to laugh because I just finished posting a topic about having given up. Wish I had read this first and I wouldn't have bothered. Yup. It's definitely a motivation problem.
  17. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    To put up the new plantation blinds in the guest room. After much frustration and cussin' up a storm, I got them up. I then passed out on the sofa and slept for a couple of hours. I got no motivation to do anything else today. Maybe tomorrow; tomorrow is another day (I call this the Scarlet O'Hara Syndrome :)

    Love, Mikie
  18. MsE

    MsE New Member

    You chose a perfect name for this lack of motivation. Some days I can't get motivated to do anything except read and sleep.

    Also, you mentioned that it wasn't advisable to push through it. Right! I just returned from a stressful week of traveling to my brother's memorial service. I have had to remind myself not to "push through it" because I know, after living with this stuff since 1997 or before, that it makes matters worse.
    [This Message was Edited on 11/12/2011]
  19. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    You are smart to conserve your energy. We do learn over time that trying to push through just makes matters worse. I certainly don't live in filth but I have had to lower my stds. for how I keep house and home over the years. When I am into a big project, like cleaning out my closet, I have clothes all over the place but it's not going to get done overnight. I live with the mess, knowing that in the end, it will be cleaner and more organized. Also, Goodwill will benefit from what I donate.

    I'm sorry about your brother. That is certainly stressful to deal with. The longer we have these illnesses, the more we are willing to tell others that we are not up to doing everything. I rest up before big events and drug myself up to get through them. Then, I rest all I can. Most of the time, it's just do a little, rest a little. When it's a big flare, it's go to bed until it's over. We become masters of managing our time and energy. We should all be proud of how we manage. All of us are heros and heroines for the pain and fatigue we suffer and still manage to live our lives as best we can. Here's to us!

    Love, Mikie
  20. MsE

    MsE New Member

    You stated it all--beautifully and clearly. And, I love your last sentence and want to repeat it loudly and clearly: "Here's to us!"