How to tell a "potential" date about FM?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Chelz, Feb 3, 2009.

  1. Chelz

    Chelz New Member

    First of all, I have to say, I do not date much. Since my FM has become worse over the years, I have shyed away from dating and relationships and I have to say it doesn't bother me to not date, at least not as much as it used too.

    A couple of Saturdays ago, my sisters friend had a birthday party at a local bar, my sister has asked me to go which she rarely does these days, so I thought it was kind of odd. I decided to go since I hadn't been out in a LONG time.

    Long story short, they had set me up. There was a guy there that her friend and boyfriend knew and they kind of had us sit together. We did talk a lot, we had a few things in common such as liking to cook, he doesn't drink, neither do I, we liked the same music and we were the same age which is 43.

    I drove separately because most people like to stay out much longer than I do, but at least I tried to stay to around 10:30. Anyway, this guy told my sister's friend he had fun and would like to contact me. He obviously said this after I left since everyone else stayed out until 2:00 in the morning.

    Obviously, this may never work out and it might just be a few dates. If that is the case, I would never mention my FM. But if it did work out a little, when would I mention my condition? As you can all probably tell, I feel very new at this. I used to always joke that whenever we got a new President, I would get a date, LOL. So, I feel awkward and shy about this and very much out of the loop.

    From what I hear, he doesn't usually go out too much either. I may be making a big deal out of nothing, but really my condition can really limit me. I come home from work exhausted and rarely go out on the weekends. Any comments or suggestions? Love you guys, Chelz.
  2. Debra49659

    Debra49659 New Member

    Not really sure myself...I guess I would mention it after a couple of dates or so, maybe just "in passing". I wouldn't want to lay it all out there he'd probably run for the!!!

    I have been married for almost 14 years, and he is so supportive, I am very blessed indeed! But we learned about this DD a little at a time. Maybe invite your friend over for dinner and just explain how this DD effects your weekends.

    Grrrr, I am having a hard time putting my thoughts together today, but I hope I made a little sense!!

  3. Hawkeye

    Hawkeye New Member

    Your life sounds EXACTLY like mine. I am fine being alone and actually tell myself I enjoy it but I wonder at times if I have brainwashed myself into believing that since I don't date because it never works out for me with fibromyalgia.
    I would just not say anything for a while and just enjoy the social aspect of the dates and see where it goes. If it becomes more serious then you will know when the right time is.
    Just have some fun with it and who knows! He sounds very nice!! Keep us posted and good luck!!

  4. place

    place New Member

    He did not want to deal with my fibro. First of all, I have improved significantly through a great deal of medicatons before I started dating.

    but when I did, I did not tell anyone. Did not want to make a big deal of it. But what I did was share how I live my life. Sometimes I get really tired, I don't live an active life.

    Over time, my dates would assume it was just the way I lived.

    One of the men, did make it to become my soon to be husband. I waited until at least 6mts to tell him, they have a name for my "personality"! I still really don't talk about it until I visit a doc or need to pick up my meds.

    I do tell him when I have over done it and feel sick. He knows I will be back to MY normal within 24 hours.
  5. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    I was just talking to my granddaughter about this! She keeps wanting to fix me up or put me on one of those matchmaking sites.

    I decided along time ago I was ok with being alone. There have been times when it would have been nice to have someone.

    But like I told my gg how can you date when you can't plan anything? Like you are supposed to go out on Sat. then Sat. comes and no way are you going to be able too.gosh sorry have to cancel again. too stressful for me.

    If you are still able to get out or plan you go for it girl!!! If planning is hard I would be upfront right away. He sounds like a nice guy and might not min

    d in house dates.