Discussion in 'Caregivers' started by Nsearch, Apr 28, 2004.

  1. Nsearch

    Nsearch New Member

    I'm a 46 yr. old female, not much different than most on this site caring for an 86 yr. old mother in her home with Alzheimers and watching my life come to a screeching halt.
    I'm tired. Very tired and in that, there is very little, actually zero interest in my life. I'm not working for the last year to care for her, I'm over the limit in being stressed, anger sets in and I surpress it, resentment as well.
    My mother and I...well, I tolerate her (don't get me wrong, I love her deeply and put in 100%) but we never did, nor do we now see eye to eye. Different generations, different lives...she was a homemaker raising children. I am an independent single woman making (was) my own career and rely on myself as my own provider. No children.

    How do I find a caretaker part time? Someone that can at least be trusted to come in once in awhile so I can just take some time for me? A movie, the mall, a walk, something?
    The last 2 from the local Senior Services Center in our area (associated with SS) tried to steal from her. Financially. Once I came in the picture and found out...they disappeared. Yes, they were reported and all I got was an, "Oh, we're so sorry" and nothing else.
    Is there a screening process for finding someone reliable, safe, sane and devoted to this type of work?
    I can't rely on the nieghbors. They are all elderly and ill or new with young families that don't want to get to know anyone in their own neighborhood). No family. The sibling I had passed away 2 years grandchildren of my mothers...they live out of the country now and don't even write or call. Oh, correction. One did. The 38 year old granddaughter married, successful living in a 2.5 million dollar estate wanted to know what she was going to receive once her "grandmother" passed away and if she needed to be here.
    I don't know what to do. My entire life feels like I'm in chains. Depression is at an all time high, I have no interest to venture out and do the things I love or meet people because I can't be away from mother more than 15 min. or so.
    I have an interview out of the state, up North in Oregon on Monday. Received the letter of confirmation this past week.
    A job/career I've worked on for 2 years and can't follow through. She can not be left alone.
    Please, can someone at least offer me options to care in home. No, not a facility to place her in, but how I go about finding reliable, caring people to help me out.
    I lay awake at night til 3 am, sometimes in tears. I'm drained, strained, scared (odd to even see these words in writing), worried and hurting.
  2. BabySis

    BabySis New Member

    I am your age and know exactly what you are looking for. It is very hard to find. I was working fulltime and put my mother in daycare. It was very hard the first day but her Dr insisted. She really enjoyed it. I used different nursing agencies but also check with local churches sometimes they know of people who need work.