howdy yall

Discussion in 'Caregivers' started by, Jan 1, 2002.

  1. daisi21 is my fiancee and i do do what i can but could some ideals to deal with stress.
  2. karenanne

    karenanne New Member

    Hi brownie, this is Martin..I'm Karenannes's husband.

    I'm glad to see Chris answered your post. It's worth listening to him even if he does come from Derbyshire! (that's an in-joke, we come from a different part of England)

    You didn't say much about the stress you're dealing with. Do you mean 'how can I help her with the stress she feels' or 'how do I handle the stress I'm having right now?'

    Whichever you meant, I'm sorry but there's no easy answer.

    It's not easy having a relationship with a seriously sick person..but it's not easy with ANY person, if it comes to that. Try not to take things too personally; think of how youfeel when you have flu or something, and imagine if you felt like that all the time. Bear in mind that she may feel guilty that she's stopping you having the life you want...and that may make her feel hurt and resentful of you, and very insecure in your relationship.

    If I had to say just one thing, it would be to be ready to admit that you can't always deal with the situation. Ask for help, here or wherever you can find it. Tell people how you feel, how angry or sad or hopeless.

    Good luck and come back to us whenever you feel the need.

    All the best
  3. Syathane

    Syathane New Member

    hi brownieg, my name is syathane (or as mom calls me Thane)

    as with chris i was pointed out to you by karen anne, she said i might be able to help you, i can only say things from my view and hope that helps.

    my partner is cat lover and she was diagnosed with CFS approx six months ago, at first i will admit it was hard. seeing some one you love and care about collapsing from exaughstion (sp). cat lover was very tired in the first couple of months and the moments of tiredness seemed to increase, i felt like there was nothing i could do for her to help her and i will admit that made me frustrated and stressed out. but my own personal way of coping with stress is to make myself busy, so i started doing the cooking, housework anything and everything. but now things are different, now cat lover is only run down occasionally and rarely has a sleep during the day.

    i think it is all a matter of finding out just how much she could do before her body called time out. it did take us a few months to work that out but we did it and now things do seem to be going well. my stress and frustration has abaited and admittedly i am doing a little less housework but i still do my share.

    anyway i've prattled on just ot basically say once each person has learnt their own limitationsthings do start to get better. dealing with stress itself is also done individually and in your own way, but never ever take it out on your loved ones, it is NOT their fault they did not ask for this and if you just start shouting at each other you will end up getting nowhere. try and be patient things do get a little better slowly.

    hope this has helped in some way, and either cat lover or i will be checking in here from time to time.
    all the best
  4. Deb J

    Deb J New Member

    I'm so glad the CG forum is getting active again. I don't have a significant other, so I come here once in a while to see how you guys and gals are doing. It's great to see you rally again. This was such a great idea when it started and I'd hate to see it get lost. I think it has been very beneficial for you folks and us too. This way we can see how it is for the others around us and understand a little better.
    Keep up the good stuff!!
  5. annee

    annee New Member

    For checking in on us!!
    We need some caring too!!
    I think both sides of the dd, help all of us.
  6. Pixie

    Pixie New Member

    Hello All, I am a 58 year young mother with 2 daughters one with cfs the other fms, yesterday was one of the worse days of my life, very scarry, my youngest dayghter (fms) was crying, sick to her stomach, very sensitive to tast, smell, noise, hard to swollow, really sick, then called my other daughter she had just returned from doc apt, he blood pressure was 160 over 106, her doc said it was from not smoking for 10 days that her body was adjusting, and it should be better soon, but is keeping close ck on her. that is just a sample of what I go threw daily, and feeling so helpless, I feel as though my children are dying right in front of me and I don't know what to do. time is a problem, working a 4 day a week job, also look after my 82 year old mother. so for all you caregivers I know your feelings, at 58 I should be the sick one, not my children, they are 38 and 41 years of age. thanks for you all for letting me express myself, and good luck to you.