Hubby and Rhumy get into it.....No Pain help..can't stop crying

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by achy, Jul 10, 2003.

  1. achy

    achy New Member

    I just have to vent or I'm going to explode. This is long...the visit felt like it lasted all day.

    Went for my 3rd visit wiht a "very well respected" rhumy.
    I have applied for SSD and needed a specialist to back up my GP. Well, lot of good that did me!
    thank goodness I took hubby wiht me. This guy runs hot and cold each visit...says one thing one time...then changes the story. Anywho...

    # 1
    I told him the the 2 flexeril@ bed has stopped working after 3 months...was not sleeping again and I had SEVERE spasms during the day...
    Hi responce: cut back to ONE at bed. No, can't have any duing the day, will make me too tired.

    # 2
    I told him my depression was much worse...and I was haveing blurred vision. I asked if this could be the flexeril, if it was I wanted off of it. Nope...couldn't be the flexeril...very rare to happen. Well, I had told his nurse about it when she was doing Bp..temp...and she sail :eek:h yes, it's prob. the flexeril...tell the doc....
    He changed me to lexapro, but said..get this...Wellbutrin is the best antidepressant....and shook his head!!

    Last visit he Rx'd a patch when I explined hohw bad the pain was...the ultram just wan't helping. Well, My ins would not cover it because of the diagnosis. I asked him what can he Rx....NOTHING!! ultram..and no more than 2 3X day.

    Well, I walked out in tears. Hubby didn't understand that the ultram was the pain med not working...he thought the lexapro the doc Rx'd was for pain...he got confused, and once I explained to him why I was so upset he called the nurse out and asked to talk to the doc once again...he wanted to know why he would not help my pain. it gets juicy..

    We go back in to see doc...I've been there 3 hrs now....

    The doc comes in...fuming..and says he understands that we won't leave until he says why he won't give me NARCOTICS!!!
    I almost fell over!! Nothing was ever said about narcotics!!
    and we couldn't get him off the matter what we said, or tried to explain..he just kept rambling.

    Then when I told him how I couldn't even go to a movie cause I can't sit that long..he said Well, that's not must have something else wrong...we need a bone scan. I JUST HAD ONE by a prev. doc last year...and he asked me why in the world would a doc do a bone scan?!?!?
    I refussed needless to say.
    The final outcome was all he would do is refer me to a pain clinic to see if they would Rx narcotics (there was that word again)
    Thanks GOD I had an appt. right after lunch wiht my councelor. I felt like jumping out the window.

    I don't know what to do. I will not go to a doc that makes me feel like a criminal. But now all this is in his report...I'm sure SS will eat this up. Begging for drugs, refusing to take tests. Great. Will somebody PLEASE wake me up from this nightmare!!!

    What should I do? What would you do? Just go back to my GP?
    Find another rhumy?

    Thanks for letting me vent...hubby went fishing this am...had to gt away from it...sure wish I could.
  2. elaine_p

    elaine_p New Member

    of your experience with the idiot. I'd find another doc.

    My first doc when I moved here put me on Celexa because I "felt a little uncomfortable in social situations". She ignored the part where I said I did them anyway.... ANYway, when I told her at the next appt that it was causing acne, she didn't believe me until she looked it up in the PDR. The problem with docs these days is they don't LISTEN. And they don't BELIEVE. (What does that say about them?) Even though some side effects are rare, they happen, that's why they're listed on the drug insert. Years ago when I started Prozac (pre-CFS), it caused palpitations or something, which was reported in less than 1% of patients. Well, I guess I'm rare or unique or something.
  3. KayL

    KayL New Member

    a different doc! My neurosurgeon had that same attitude. If I ever need one again in the future, I will NOT go back to him.

    Are you going to go to the pain clinic? At the very least, you really need to find another doc to treat you.


  4. klutzo

    klutzo New Member

    This has happened to most of us at some time, unfortunately.
    I would go to the pain clinic, as they are most likely to help you with severe pain. If ultram is not working, you may have to take narcotics to get pain relief. I had to take narcotics for the first 12 years, before I could get off of them, and I am not ashamed of that, and you should not be either.
    Stick with your GP, since he seems to be a help.
    Call Fibromyalgia Network at 1-800-853-2929, and ask for a list of doctors in your area recommended by the patients themselves. They have a large database for this. Then you can use that doc for your second opinion for SSDI.
    If they don't have anyone listed near you, how about asking your GP if he knows any other docs who are good at treating fibro. You might also try calling holistic doctors in your area, since all of them have a large fibro clientele.
    In most SSDI hearings, you will be asked to bring the one person who is closest to you to testify on your behalf. I assume this will be your husband, so if questions come up about this lousy Rheumy, he can confirm your story. However, If it were me, I would just chalk this doc up as a loss, and not even have my attorney use his opinion. Just pretend you never saw him, and don't submit his records at all.
  5. joannie1

    joannie1 New Member

    I am so sorry to hear about this terrible experience. So many of us go through this crap too often and it is truly unfair. If i were you and while it is fresh in your mind you AND your Hubby need to write up a letter to "whom it may concern" about the experience with this Doctor and have this ready to send in to Disability when it comes time for them to receive your Rheumo's report. Why are we treated so poorly I do not know and understand. I have read so much on this DD and where the pain in this is considered to be as bad as some of the worst pain other fatal and disabling diseases have. So, why we are treated like drug seakers and like crap I don't get. Pretty sad and people wonder why we get so depressed, go figure ha...
    Take care okay.
  6. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Generally speaking, there are always exceptions, rheumies are the least helpful docs to see for what ails us. Find a good pain specialist. They understand our kind of pain and are not opiod phobic.

    Love, Mikie
  7. JHG

    JHG New Member

    Sorry about your problems. Have you considered that this particular dr. might not want to deal with a disability claim Some don't. JHG
  8. Lana56

    Lana56 New Member

    I am so sorry about your experience with this doctor.Glad your husband was there to see the whole thing.We are treated
    so bad sometimes.I would let your lawyer know about everything and not use the records from this doctor for the disability case.I would find another doctor and not stop until you find the help you deserve.Take a chance at a pain clinic-you won't be any worse off and if it does not go well then forget that you even went there.I have been the social security route and believe me I could write a book on poor medical care.We deserve credit for our fight and instead we get doctors that don't have a brain in their head!I know you are in pain and need relief,but no matter what don't give up.Oh by the way,I lost my disability case so I know the fight is exhausting.I faught it all the way and my lawyer could have appealed the case one more time.Anyway he asked me for 1500.00 or he would not continue to appeal since he thought I would not win.Needless to say I had no money and the case was dropped.I won't go on about me,but just want you to know i know what it is to hurt as you are.You take a deep breathe and keep up the fight.I wish you a lot of luck!!
  9. bugshale

    bugshale New Member

    Do not get yourself upset over a jerk Doc. You will just feel sicker. The Doc is not understanding and has no idea what you are going through. He won't chart all that, he would look stupid also. SS knows some docs are jerks and do not read every word written down. He did refer you to a pain clinic and they will chart good things and be understanding. So go asap and you will feel better mentally about things. I learned a long time ago when I get upset I hurt more and it is not worth getting upset over jerks where I can not change their minds due to their own stupidty.
  10. AnnetClo

    AnnetClo New Member

    I agree with the others, don't let this jerk get to you. On the other hand I think when you are calm enough and can write a letter just stating the facts, what he said, how he treated you, his repeated insinuations that you were asking for narcotics, etc, then please do. Keep a copy for yourself, send one to the doctor and one to the state governing board for doctors in your state. I'm sorry I don't remember what they're called, but maybe Madwolf or one of the others can tell you. The reason I suggest this is #1 he had absolutely no right to treat you that way and #2 if we don't start reporting these idiots then their behavior just continues. And if you make a report now, it may save some other person suffering like we do from being berated and insulted like you were.

    I'm so sorry you had this happen and I sure hope you get some relief at the pain clinic.

  11. achy

    achy New Member

    I hope you know how much i appreciate your support and understanding. this is the 2nd doc that did this to me. The first rhymy put me thru expensive tests to "make sure it's not something other than fibro..then admitted he didn't even believe in it.

    My GP really worked wiht me on meds...went from ultram to percocet (tylenol aggrevates IBS) methadone (gave me horrific headaches) to oxycontin. Oxy was great, still pain but bearable, but made me meaner than a horsefly!!

    I went to the rhumy ONLY because was told SS would not approve disability wihtout a rhumy's support.

    The rotten rhumy's office just called..they set up appt at pain management for the 31st. Somehow I will have to make it until then. I am afraid if I go back to my gp it WILL look like I'm just looking for drugs...I know he will give them to me.

    I kinda fired him 6 months ago....HE is wonderful, but his staff was awful. Kept saying I owed $$ even wiht a PIF reciept..always a 1-3 hour wait, etc.!!
    Maybe I should just eat crow and go back to him. At least he listened and was supportive.

    I'm just numb and exhausted. I am still just sitting here looking out the window...not knowing what to do, or how to do it..and just repeating "this too shall pass"....

    Warm gentle hugs to you all....I will come back later. Think I'll try to take a nap.

    Warm fuzzies
  12. baby-bear

    baby-bear New Member

    Run...Run forest run!!!!! DO NOT USE THIS DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for your SS hearing!!! It will come back to haunt you. I promise!!!!!! Go to the pain clinic and also find another rhuemy for yourself. Nobody needs this Analism!!! You can report him you know....So sorry this happened to you...been there, done that.....Pammye
  13. Nana61

    Nana61 New Member

    I'm haveing the same problem with my GP. He has referred me to a Rheumy but I can't get in to see her until Nov.18 because she is so busy. I hope that is a good sign.
    Everytime I ask if my GP if he can prescribe something for pain, he implys that I just want pain meds because I just want them - don't need them. I have an appointment today and I'm going to try again. I don't care what he thinks, I know that I am in pain. I hope that you get some help soon.
    Love and Blessing, Nana
  14. Jen F

    Jen F New Member

    and soon...

    as I have found in the word...oh ya, investigations pain clinics give the okay to docs to prescribe narcotics.

    seems most GP's are uninformed on pain management.

    I went armed with an article referring to article on Mayo clinic called "Opiods Should be considered for RElief of Chronic Lower Back Pain [Fibromyalgia News]" from this site.

    tried to get actual mayo clinic article, but I don't know how to get that. was published in Sept 2002 issue of Pain Medicine.

    This article includes sentence:

    "Opiods can be a 'lifesaver' for patients with server pain...For people with chronic pain, opiods can be like letting them out of jail."

    So, maybe arming yourself with recent evidence might help. I didn't actually use it, but I had it with me and if i continue to have problems I will find more articles til I get in with Neuro who knows about pain management on Aug 7.

    gotta go, feeling short of breath, gonna post about it.
  15. kerrymygirl

    kerrymygirl New Member

    You do have rights. I know when I went to meeting for fm a law was passed for people in chronic pain to Get the meds they need. These docs are afraid of being audited well they should be more afraid of abuse and mistreatment to help a person in pain.

    I have too many stories like yours and worse.

    1 was a pain management doc. he said he did not believe in fm /cfids or lyme. I said could you help me with my cervical damage. He refused, would not even walk into room. He asked me what the heck I was doing in his office, and literally sent me packing when he saw my chart. He is only pain management dud on my ins.

    Make sure any doc you are not sure of you do not give his name to SS. Atty told us never give ANY doc you are not sure of.

    I lost my only doc to help me with ssd before my case. He was good but had cfids, closed practice with 1 day notice.

    He was all I had since I had no ins. He did write a letter though to help me.

    I did it mostly on my own very lazy atty. I had. It was up to me and the judge at the end. He granted me disabled right then and there. No wait for letter etc.

    So hang in there. Eat crow if you need that 1 doc to help you. We have all had to suck up to get the help we need.

    Sucks I know......Relax and try to realize it his stupidity not your fault you are ill.

    Who the heck would choose this, I would be much more creative and have something people get, if I made the choice. Not this mistreated,misunderstood H**L. From friends to docs to ins. and on.

    Take Care, do not give up
  16. Hinemoa

    Hinemoa New Member

    and you should not have to put up with it.

    The scary thing is that I heard that soon pharmacists will be given the authority to determine if you are on too much medication. Actually I don't think this ever passed but it was being considered. This would only make physicians more cautious.

    There are Drs. out there that are concerned and caring and they are willing to go the distance to help control your pain. I think calling the best hospital in your area is a good idea. If you go to the emergency room I have found they they are usually generous with pain meds. They sometimes want to do all kinds of tests though.

    I have no experience with pain clinics but it seems like a sound plan to me. I am sensitive to most medications so I stick to the one prescription that I can tolerate plus Motrin. I found Ultram to be pretty useless; plus it made me sick!

    But never give up. You have a right to be free of pain.



  17. catgal

    catgal New Member

    Hi Achy~~I've been in your position, and I know how despondent and infuriating it can be, and then you still have to suffer in pain as a bonus.

    I got no help from my rheumy. I got no help from several physicians. I got no help from the Orthopedist. Finally, after an MRI and some x-rays, I found a compassionate physician that started me on narcotic pain management--oxycontin, percocet, soma, bextra, & klonopin. Although I have FM/CFS, osteoarthritis, psoriatic arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis, severe asthma, and IBS--I was being treated for advanced degenerative disc disease and had multiple back problems.

    However, because the FDA is breathing down the necks of physicians who give potent, long-term opioid medications--my physician refers me to a Pain Specialist for backup documentation and validation for the meds he gives me.

    Like Mikie, I would strongly suggest you get a referral to a Pain Specialist. All Pain Specialist are different, and some people on here have had bad experiences with them. But, the one I go to is great. He takes his time, he listens, he asks questions and actually waits for the full answer, and even asks for my opinion. Infact, he was the one who "increased" my med dosages after I had been on the same dosages for three years.

    My physician is still the one who I see monthly who writes the scripts for me, but he is following the Pain Specialist's recommendations which lets him off the hook with the FDA. The FDA doesn't seem to bother Pain Specialists much as treating chronic pain with opioids is a large part of their speciality.

    Even if you have to pay for the Pain Specialist appointment yourself--I did, and it cost me $58.00--then you can go back to that one doc you liked (with the awful office people) who was on your insurance, and he can then give you sufficient pain medication backed by documentation by the Pain Specialist.

    I see my Pain Specialist every 6 months for an update.

    Don't let this get you down. We all go through it--it's just part of the process--but don't allow yourself to suffer needlessly. If you need to eat a little crow to get the meds you need right now....just remember to season it with the RELIEF you're going to get. Best Wishes, Carol...
  18. dmflynn8

    dmflynn8 New Member

    My Internist I found last year has given me more help than the 5 rheumatologists I saw!!! Why not find a good Internist---preferably a female. Mine is my angel. I still have pain, but not as severe as it was at times. And she listens to me---I am trying Lexapro now for depression and FMS. My trouble is that I also have Lupus and get chemical reactions (rash, hives, sweats, fever) from many of the pain and muscle relaxing drugs. So I don't know yet how this will go. And when you go to the new doctor, take a diary of everything you've experienced in symptoms and every test and drug they tried on you. If you have reports, they seem to believe you a lot more than when you just go in and verbalize on your own.
  19. garyandkim

    garyandkim New Member

    PM doc and even though you went through H*** you did get the jerk to give you the referal. A new doc is the next. Have you used the doc find here? We found our doc there. He's great and we interviewed him on the phone for over an hour. You can also go to just interview them.

    Gary went to a Rhummy that was a real loser to. Ours is an Infectious disease doc and specialises also in FMS/CFS.

    Glad your hubby was with you and got you what you needed but, yoi should report him later on after the SS is done. Good luck, Kim and Gary
  20. achy

    achy New Member

    I have an appt on the 31 for the pm dr. He is listed as an internist/neurologist/pain management. He has been here forever...older doc...concerns me, older ones usually aren't supportive, but We'll see.

    I am looking for a new internist, but can't find one to treat FM....think I'll just go back to GP.

    I am going to this IDOT one time after the pain management doc wiht a bottle of pills in my hand...I still have 50 of the oxycontin Rx I used to take....the Rx is actually expired, just hated to throw them out $$$$$. (they made me really sick so I stopped taking them)

    Look J.A. if I was just looking for drugs, would I still have these?? He will then be fired.

    I feel much better..your support is always a tremendous help.

    Warm fuzzies