HUBBY SLEPT IN SEPARATE ROOM

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Cromwell, Feb 17, 2006.

  1. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    AND I SLEPT LIKE A TOP. We love one another dearly, but last night he slept in guest rokm, and I went to sleep about 8 ish and woke up at 6.30 am. I could not beleive it, I had looked at the closk and expected it to be 1.00am, and it was 6.30!

    I had no recollection of being asleep, no dreams either. Did not take meds. Had DH massage back prior to sleep.

    Does this mean this could be the anser. Sleeping alone????

    Love Anne C
  2. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Anne:
    You might want to try it a few more times and see what happens. It is a possible solution, but than again it could be just a fluke. It sounds like you have a real understanding husband (massage and all).
    Many people have seperate bedrooms for the reason you stated. They just sleep better. No guilt. Same relationship, different rooms. I wish you the best in the quest for better sleep.
    Hugs,
    NyroFan
  3. Fudge43

    Fudge43 New Member

    Anne ... even before all of our health issue climaxed .. I HAD to sleep on my own or I would never sleep .. I'm just too aware of other bodies ? haha .. even Ti Chi (spelling off ) was not something I could do because I was to distracted by other people.
    It isn't as rare as you think .. a lot of people do not "own" up to it because they think other people will wonder about them ? ..
    Pish Posh !!! sleep is so important for over all health .. it is nothing to snort at and make fun of when it comes down to common sense resolutions such as sleeping in different rooms !
    Good Luck !
    Fudge : )
  4. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    My husband and I have seperate rooms and we both sleep better or at least he does..Have had seperate rooms for 4 years..I don't think I will ever have a good nights sleep again..

    He goes to bed early, up early and I am up and down all night.Since he has to work and needs his rest this has been a good soluations for both of us..

    greatgran
  5. jhmitch

    jhmitch New Member

    Hi Anne!

    For a wide variety of reasons (FMS, snoring, insomnia, etc.) a lot of very loving couples find the cure to their rest problems by sleeping in different beds or even rooms.

    Do whatever works best for you and I wish both you and your husband plenty of happy ZZZZZZs.

    Janice
  6. Kat_in_Texas

    Kat_in_Texas New Member

    What size bed do you have? I find it increasingly hard to sleep in our queen size bed with DH, it has felt more crowded and uncomfortable lately. Maybe it's because my quality of sleep has been poor and I'm just awake more during the night? When we travel we try to book rooms with a king size bed, and I always sleep well. I also sleep good when I'm alone due to DH being out of town on his monthly business trip.

    I have tried to get DH to consent to buying a king size bed (I would dearly love to have a king size sleep number bed) but he refuses. Says he doesn't like the idea of our bedroom being "all bed" and that he likes to sleep close to me. Plus our current queen size mattress is only two years old and he's not interested in making another large purchase since this one is in great shape.

    I have found that wearing earplugs lately has helped. DH doesn't snore much but it seems I've just been more aware of his breathing, his "presence" or something (that sounds weird but you get what I mean), so the earplugs help.

    Good luck in finding out what the best sleep situation is for you. My MIL and FIL slept in separate bedrooms for the last decade of their lives and loved it. It always seemed a little weird to me but now that I'm older and the FM has changed my sleep patterns, I can certainly see how that would be a benefit.

    Kat
  7. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Nice to know I am not alone (or am alone --- pun--- lol)


    Actually Dh slept better too.(just took me three attempts to spell slept!)

    He often has gotten up and moved bedrooms in the past, but this was an all nighter.

    We have twin beds pushed together then a King imitation feather bedtopper on top of memory foam King over the mattresses-looks like the princess and the pea sleep here!

    He DOES snore, or should I say gasps, gurgles and groans. He twitches, he talks in his sleep and he steals all the covers. He also gets up and sleep eats in the nighttime.

    No wonder I slept well with him not there! I recall now, during our 23 year marriage, he has only been away one time for a week (was supposed to be a month but he could not stand being apart, bless him)and I slept great that week too.

    I have to say, that prior to this, the dogs used to keep us awake, but they are both deceased now.

    We have an extraordinary great marriage, very loving and kind. He is always giving me massages. He comes to doctors with me. We are together 24/7 so we always joke we have actually been married about 120 years when viewed as time spent together face to face! He struggles with disability issues himself-he has head/brain trauma.

    I do actually feel that in strong marriages, sleeping apart is no big deal either. Hope it works again for us.

    Love Anne C
  8. pepper

    pepper New Member

    but cannot sleep with him all night any more. He has visitation privileges of course :) but I am awake off and on all night and he snores and grunts and makes various noises all night. He also gets up early when I am getting my best sleep of the night.

    We got a king-size bed thinking that would solve the problem. It helps some with the interruption of sleep from him moving around but the snoring is another issue. Sometimes his snoring from the guest room even wakes me up!

    I heard on some news report that 20%+ of married people sleep in separate rooms due to insomnia and/or snoring issues. So we are certainly not alone.

    Pepper

  9. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    Sleeping in a queen sized bed with another adult gives you each the equivalent of a CRIB sized mattress space to sleep!!!!!!

    Hubby and I used to have one too but when we switched to a king we realized that we can still cuddle, but separate as we were falling asleep for more stretch room.

    Now we each have a king to sleep on of our own. And the conjugal visits are amazing because we appreciate them more now for the time we're spending together.

    I hope your hubby will reconsider...

    Nancy B.
  10. JLH

    JLH New Member

    I have mentioned this here before, my hubby and I also have to sleep in separate beds. This is the ONLY solution for US to get a good nights sleep!


    zzzzzz,
    Janet
  11. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    I am so happy to hear what a relationship you and your husband have! It is so beautiful and how it's supposed to be! Bless both your hearts!!
  12. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    now he sleeps 75 miles away...he used to wake me up anywhere from 3:30 am unitl the time he decided he was through fooling around....then i had my alarm set for work at 6 am...and needed to be out the door no later than 7 am..
    week days...well, we had a son that needed to eat breakfast and be at school that was supposed to be his dad's duty///

    anyways separate homes worked for me...i do not reccomend it for everyone...

    i am trying to use some sense of humor here people

    jodie
  13. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    That cracked me up!!!!!!!

    Thanks for the good laugh...

    Nancy B.
  14. i tell no one i know about this,but i dont mind sharing with you good people here.
    my husband and i have slept in seperate rooms for well over 5 years now.the reason being..he snores and i couldnt sleep.so id get angry and go downstairs and sleep on the sofa,every night,but it was uncomfortable.
    so i started to go to bed a few hours before my husband,then he started complaining about my snoring,and the fact that i talk in my sleep.he would,nt go sleep on the sofa,he,d wake me up and complain about the noise.
    so i decided that we should sleep in seperate rooms.now its heaven..so quiet and peaceful..he,s enjoying his room too.and we both get some quality sleep now.

    love
    fran xx
  15. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    That cracked me up too, made me realy LOL. Thanks for it.

    And thanks too all you other honest people.

    However, my cats kept me awake most of last night. I think they were punishing me for removing DH from room (LOL)

    Cannot win.

    Boy it is COLD here in Upstate NY but a blue sky and sun, just trying to fool me into going for a walk, but noooooo way! I know how cold it will be.

    Love Anne C
  16. rockyjs

    rockyjs Member

    I worked at a nice resort and found that most couples over 40 or so sheepishly requested two beds. I think way more people than we realize sleep separately.

    My husband and I have had separate bedrooms for over 10 years. We have totally different bedtime routines...he likes to watch late night TV and falls asleep, then gets up around midnight to brush his teeth. He snores and flops around all night and I was miserable.

    I like to quietly read for an hour before going to sleep. I also flop around because of pain and if I have insomnia I turn on the light and read till I get sleepy again. Every time I'd turn a page he'd gasp like I'd set off an alarm, so I was driving him crazy, too. I like the room to be warm, he likes it cool, and the differences went on and on.

    We both sleep much better now. It didn't affect our sex life and we still cuddle and talk lots before going to bed. When we have company my bedroom converts back to the guest room and we sleep in the master bedroom whle they're here (but we're both very glad when they leave because we don't get much sleep!).

    Jan