Husband filed for divorce/now in terrible flare...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by busybusymom, Jul 1, 2008.

  1. busybusymom

    busybusymom New Member

    My husband filed for divorce in April. Thought I was doing okay, somewhat baseline symptoms, then on Father's Day (of all days...) I woke up with the absolute most excrutiating body, muscle, joint, burning pain EVERYWHERE! I couldn't even talk I was in so much pain.

    Thought it would alleviate after a couple days (like it normally does, especially w/a weather change), but it has continued. I am on the guafenesin protocol and now I am feeling as if it may not be working.

    I am wondering if psychologically, especially since it was Father's Day (yes, I am still living in the same home with him - still waiting to get my payout so I can move), a terrible flare has been triggered. The pain has not stopped. I just started Celebrex to see if that would help.

    Any suggestions on how to get through a tough time like this w/Fibro and CFS? I thought I was handling it pretty good, now my body is giving out and it is so distressing to me.



    HURTIN New Member

    Hi BusyMom! Divorce stinks! (sighs) You're in a stressful situation with a lot to contend with, and your health issues only tend to add salt to the wound, so to speak. With fibromyalgia, our bodies don't do well under stress as stress is one of the many triggers that provoke a flare-up.

    I'd like to suggest that you discuss mood enhancing drugs such as Zoloft or Wellbutrin with your doctor, because whether you know it or not; you could possibly be experiencing a bout with depression.

    In the meantime, try to do relaxing things that you enjoy. I realize that you're limited because of the excruciating pain you're enduring. Do you like listening to soft music? How about reading or drinking a cup of soothing tea? Make a few phone calls to friends. I'm sure they'll be happy to hear from you. What you really need at this genre is a good old fashioned laugh. I've heard that "laughter is the best medicine"! Try it and get back to us. Let us know if there is any truth in that concept. (smile) Good luck!

  3. deb_46

    deb_46 New Member

    I don't have much advice as so for by the grace of God, my Fibro is mild but my CFS is my worst issue to date. Just wanted to tell you I'm in your same situation. Living in the same house waiting on my disability so that I can either get out or hoping that he will straighten up if he knows I can get out.

    You will be in my thoughts and prayers. This DD is bad enough without marriage problems on top of it.

  4. Honora88

    Honora88 Member


    I would recommend getting all the support you need. I call talk hotlines to distress, I talk to friends, I try to watch comedic movies, I do angel therapy (doreen virtue), ask for help on for reiki requests, I listen to hayhouseradio to elevate my vibrate, I cry, I write, I plan pleasant events into the future...etc...I use as many resources as possible.

    You mentioned that you are usually okay...however, you can only draw from yourself for so long before it takes a toll on your health. I think people with cfid/fibro tend to be very strong people who try to handle everything on their own! But just remember that you shoudln't have to!
  5. texangal81

    texangal81 New Member

    When I went through a very, very, nasty, ugly divorce nearly 10 years ago, I found my salvation in a chat room. I 'lived' there for 6 months and they got me through the hard times. So online outlets are a good place to get emotional relief. This is a great board. Yahoo has some Fibro groups where you can chat. This is great for days when you hurt but know you can at least sit at your computer. If your hands hurt, use voice chat wherever possible.

    If I had not had my online family during those awful days, I would not have made it.

    Take care, you will make it through the divorce and before you know it, it will be 10 years later.

  6. justlooking

    justlooking New Member

    It's been a long time since I've seen you post. I am soooo sorry about all you are going through.

    I think stress can be one of the worst aggravators of symptoms for these DD. Both mental and physical stress.

    Are you taking any pain meds? If not are you against taking pain meds? Sometimes it is the only thing that can get my pain under control just so I can get out of bed.

    Well I hope things get better, but if you still have my email address and need a friend, feel free to email me. I have moved from the LA area down to North San Diego County on the coast but I still see my Drs up in the SF Valley. If you need the name of a good pain Dr in the valley, let me know.

  7. busybusymom

    busybusymom New Member

    Thank you all for responding. I got a phone number today for a divorced/separated support group but the number just rings and rings. I'm assuming it could be disconnected.

    You are all right; the nasty flare could be a result of the stress and I am PRAYING that once I am out of this house (which is so uncomfortable - tired of acting like everything is the same...) that my body will settle down.

    The ironic thing is that I now understand why so many people with this DD take pain meds. I am not one to take them - it is a personal choice and also I just can't tolerate them. The best I can do is Tylenol, Advil - which, of course as we all know, do nothing. I am hoping the Celebrex will kick in at sometime, but finding even that is making me nauseous. Please don't think I am against pain medication - I believe you need to take what works for YOU.

    JustLooking - how do I get your email? You don't live too far from me, but I am closer to SFV.

    Even today I thought I would feel better - and, NO, I feel awful. Unfortunately I do not have a lot of friends because I have been sick so long and out of the social loop, and I work from home. I truly believe that friends are your lifeline. I can vent to my family, but I'm sure they only want to hear so much!

    The golden light at the end of the tunnel is that I know I will be happier out of this marriage, even though the emotional aspect hurts like h---. Hopefully a happier person will equate a happier body!!

  8. justlooking

    justlooking New Member

    I guess you don't remember me, we exchanged emails in chat a couple of years ago when I lived in SFV. You were in the process of discovering your mold problem. We emailed back and forth, along with another poster here for a few weeks/maybe months, but I guess with the stresses and strains of being sick we stopped emailing.

    Oh well chalk it up to fibro fog!
    Hope you feel better soon.
  9. texangal81

    texangal81 New Member

    Hopefully you can get past the nausea with Celebrex because if I don't take it every morning, I'm in pain the rest of the day. I also take Ultram throughout the day. Have you tried that? I think I might have already mentioned that too you - fibrofog, another delightful perk of this DD. I have to be careful with other pain meds because of a prior addiction.

    I lived with my ex for 6 months before I moved out and it was awful. For about a month after I filed I tried to pretend nothing had happened, I cooked, rode in the same car with him and the kids, etc. Then I found out he was spying on me via the computer and was countersuing for the kids. I confronted him one day and told him the charade was over and that I wasn't cooking for him, riding with him, doing his laundry and on and on. I looked him directly in the eye and shouted F You!!!! He was utterly shocked. That was the moment I knew I was free. It sure felt good *L*.