Husband May Join Marines Any Thoughts?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by aka1977, Jun 25, 2006.

  1. aka1977

    aka1977 New Member


    I posted awhile ago about my husband joining the Military. Well now if he does he has decided on the Marines. I just don't know, still alot of questions. I suffer from Fibro Depression, Thyroid, and Anixety. I worry about him being deployed, but I also can't stand him continually being laid off from his job. I get disability but I would be worried about finances, but I guess I am worried either way. Any thoughts good or bad. I would need to sell my house before he would go, because I could never afford it, so I would have to find an apartment with my Rottweiler, also has anyone ever heard of the emotional pet support thing dealing with apartments and their "No Pet Policy". Also can you tell me anything about the Exceptional Family Members Program? Just any thoughts good or bad I'll take anything.

  2. sfrazier

    sfrazier New Member

    aka2977 I was in the Navy and my ex was in the Navy. I would say that it is a good choice. You will get free medical, dental and eye stuff. It is also the only job that when you sign that doted line you get your medical benifits and after boot camp are automaticly give 30 days for vacation. Not real sure why you would have to sell your house. The only time he won't get paid is during boot camp and he will get that check as soon as he graduates. So unless your husband makes a lot of money when he is employed you should be able to hang on to your house. He can set it up so that his whole check goes to you or so much of his check goes to you and he keeps so much of it. My honest thought is that the military is a great career the timing isn't the greatest right now true but your husband will have a steady paycheck every two weeks (i think it is) which means you will too. You should go talk to his recruiter too and maybe that will help and you can ask him any questions you might have......SueF
  3. pspatnode

    pspatnode New Member

    If he really wants to join the military it has many good points, but the way things are I would try to talk him into the Air Force or the Navy.

    I have a husband retired from the Navy, a son retired from the Air Force and a daughter that will retire from the Army in a month. All three agree that the Air Force has the best working and living conditions and your husband would be less apt to end up guarding a corner in Baghdad. My daughter spent a year in Iraq - she will tell you it isn't enjoyable!

    The Navy and Coast Guard usually get a little safer duty than the Marines and Army as well (plus they don't sleep in tents!!)
  4. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    how old is he? asvab score will dictate what branch and what he maybe able to can google infor about military payfor is public knowledge...

    yes you will not get paid a dime until the day he is out of boot camp...they do not care about spouses or dependants...

    i know been a spouse of one for 10 years...u.s.c.g.

    do not sell your it out if you must...but after he gets out of boot camp alot of times they send him off to another school to get trained for a particular rate(job). which you do not go w/him...then at the end of his schooling he will get his orders to where he will be stationed next....then they will bring family out there...

    it's been a long time but i had a friend, whose father was a brigadere general in the marines...and she was telling me at that time in the late 80's the first place they sent the marine was to do not know if it is still pretty traditional that way...

    how tall his your hubby? why you ask, he could possibly get picked up for presidential honor guard in washington d.c.,

    get tour...they still have to do a boot camp and wives are not allowed to relocate down there until they finsih their boot is different for each inidividual..

    these are best of the best...toy soldiers, pretty faces...certain heights...they get a presidential clearance...they do background check on him and you and the families...mainly concerned about your finances...and trouble w/law...they go way back to the age of 5 or younger...

    i know poeple that were denied their cleanrace because they peed on the sidewalk when they were 5 years old...

    but us coast guard or airforce is the best to go...coastie will be more located in the u.s....but they are used elsewhere...their job is dangerous as well...they out to sea more than navy personell...we do shorter times changes every year...used to be three months out...but my ex did do 4 months straight out...

    times have changed on the communications w/family from my understanding...

    boot camp forget about hearing from them for about a can not call can write..then usually a weekend liberty before graduation...

    you can check out online about how long the boot camps are...they have changed since mine went out in 1987...

    benefits have changed as well...not so free...and retirement is not as good as it used to be...used to be 20 years retire at 50% of your pay....but then they changed it to 30 years at like 40% of pay...

    marines do not usually advance quickly...nor army...

    well anyways you man needs to do what he needs to do...and if that means a roof and food over your head than that may be the answer.

    it can be a good experience for you...but he doesn't get paid more money for a wife or more have to live off from the budget that is public on the web.....

    he will be an e-1 and come out of boot campan e-2...that will give you an idea....

    tip also...they try to say you have to sign up for 4 years...not can do a two stent...he can not quit because he doesn't like the military at anytime....they own him...government property...

  5. Bren5

    Bren5 New Member

    I come from a long line of military as well. My dad is retired. I grew up on Marine Corp bases and was also an Army wife. My son (22) is in the Army and he did get paid during basic training. He chose to follow his dad as a Combat Engineer and was deployed to S. Korea and then Iraq. He's now stationed in the states and I am sleeping much better.

    The military community is very welcoming and offers a lot of support for families. The pay is good, you will have all your health benefits.
  6. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    I know this is all very scary but this is my advice coming from 33 years of Army Life.
    I believe in order to join a branch of service you should always consider the What ifs
    Like if we are in a war. If he goes .All the pro's and con's
    Yes you get health care, and benefits BUT...
    I believe in order to really be happy that one joining should feel a strong sense of Commitment, Honor, Pride and Love and Dedication for our Country and the men and women He will serve with.Also a wife must feel these same things after all in best of times you are giving up months sometime years of being together for him to accomplish his job and in the worse of times he not only may give his life but you also may give up your husband in death.
    I also think it has been the most fulfilling life you can live both for my husband and for me being a military wife.You to are serving our country by taking care of your soldier husband.Get involved with helping your wife's clubs and learn what you can do to become a part of the military family.Its not just a challenge for your husband its also one for you.He may give his life but you also give yours.I wish you many years of happiness and Peace.
  7. DPgirl

    DPgirl New Member

    My husband is currently in the Navy and I have a brother in the Navy that is deployed right now on the USS Pelileu. I also did a stint in the Navy. My husband got out of the Navy in 1993 and then went back into the Reserves after 9/11. In January 2003, he did a voluntary recall to active duty. We have not regretted it. It sounds as if we were in similar situations. I had a good job, but he had been laid off twice in 18 months. Both due to downsizing and company consolidating/relocating. The base pay for all enlisted personnel is the same, but if married you do get more money because you get a dependent allowance and a housing allowance. Single enlisted members do not get a housing allowance because they are expected to live in the BEQ (Bachelor Enlisted Quarters). I do agree with the others that the Marines would not be my first choice, but it is generally a guy thing - the whole tough image. As they also said, the AirForce usually has the best duty - and usually state side. I do know of some Air Force personnel that were sent over to Bahgdad, but it was only for a 3-4 month stint. Medical benefits are good and I have had no problem getting either of my children in for appointments. They are operating more like civilian clinics and you can call at 7:30am to schedule an appointment for that day. My daughter has a blood disorder and they assigned her to a civilian hemotologist - everything paid for. As for the post regarding VA benefits - as a disabled vet, I have to say that they are improving also. For a normal routine appointment, I do call a month in advance to schedule. But I've had to do that with civilian doctors also. If there is a reason, I can call and get in to see the doctor in the afternoon or the next day. My doctor keeps some appointment slots open for call-ins. I get my meds through the VA and at 50% disabled, they are free. I go online to the MyHealtheVet website and get them refilled and sent to me through the mail. I usually get them in 3-5 days. Sorry for the long post, but really the military is not a bad deal. Also, they are trying to be more family friendly - not always working, but alot of things have changed. And even when deployed, there is always e-mail. My brother sends us email all the time. I hope that all works out well for your family. Prayer helped me a great deal when my husband was making his decision. Say a heartfelt prayer for guidance and for God to lead you and your husband in the direction he has chosen for you. You can't go wrong that way!! Best of luck and Blessings...Pam
  8. Cinlou

    Cinlou New Member

    My daughter completed high school early because she wants to join The Air Force. She just turned 17 in March. Her plans just terrify me. ( just being a mother that worries about her children )

    We live in Southern California and just the thought of them driving the freeway terrifies me. I guess what ever choices we make there are always going to have the good with the bad.

    I am supporting my daughters choice, what more can I do?
    My husband is a fireman, I worry about him, too. He loves what he does, someone has to do it.

    I say God bless all our military, fire and law inforcement.
    What would we do without them?
    Give your husband a hug and "Thank You!" and give yourself
    a big hug and "Thank You" from me.....(((((hugs))))
    You are in my prayers..

    [This Message was Edited on 06/25/2006]
  9. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I just have to add...when a man/woman joins the marines it's usually with a true dedication and a strong belief that this is what he/she is meant to do.

    I'm guessing your husband isn't a kid fresh out of high school, right?

    Everyone else has said pretty much everything there is to say but try to remember that not every Marine is stationed in Iraq right now.

    Also, even if you don't feel as strongly as your husband might about love of country, freedom and fighting for what we believe in (cause Freedom isn't Free)'ll do fine if you believe in your husband!

    It's a good life, an interesting life, a stressful life and it's a way for those who weren't born fortunate to create a life and a career well above what they could have without joining the military.

    Good luck,

    Nancy B.
  10. TXFMmom

    TXFMmom New Member

    I love our military men and women. We owe them so very much.

    However, my son was in a very dangerous, and serious position on subs, and when he was away, it made my FM flare.

    He was gone and wouldn't surface for three months at a time, and would be away for six months, and then worked 12 hour days when they were in port, and they would go out for cruises up to two or three weeks at a time, in the interim.

    We couldn't even discuss, in writing, over the phone, over cell phones, or in any way, when or when he might not be at home. That intensified after 9/11.

    We just had to make our vacation plans and pray that he was going to be home.

    We could have approximate, within a couple weeks, when he was going on a six monther, but it was hell.

    He is an only child, and I am not sure it would be any easier if he weren't, but I am a hyper person and his military service nearly killed me.

    When he was away, every time the doorbell rang, I nearly had a heart attack.

    Your loved one has to do what they feel is right for them and for you, but they need to think this through very, very well.
  11. rachel432

    rachel432 New Member

    i'm going tto be the downer here. right now is a very scary time for someone to join the military. since we can't get political on this board i'm just going to say that my cousin is mattied to a man who is now on his third our in iraq and it is tearing her apart.

    i know there are the benefits in the military of the steady pay, medical benefits and housing. but your also going to be losing the daily support of your spouse. think about all of the times you need him for things, or just need him to be there for you. you'll be giving that up. you'll be losing the ability to make important decisions for you family. you may get moved to another part of the country where you will not only lose the support of you husband when he's away but also the support of your family and friends where you live.

    just really sit down with you husband and talk everything through befor you make a decision this big that will impact your future so much.

  12. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    My son was in Marines and transferred to Navy and is currently doing officer training. I think he sees the navy is a great deal. Very tough training in either case, but one is more likely to stay in one place longer. He is getting a four year education for free. He was in Marines three years. He loves it.

    I have to remind everyone that actually more young men and women are killed in road accidients in this country than are killed serving their country overall. This goes for injuries too. We always have to keep this perspective. I think something like 50,000 a year killed in road accidents(all ages). This does not stop us letting our loved ones drive.

    Like many others, I do not like this current "war" we have gotten in, hate to see the loss of life there, but when one signs up to serve (not draft) then it is to serve whether one agrees with the war or not. Straw polls, when Kevin was in Iraq, showed a 50/50 split re agreeing with this war, which I believe now is down to about 30%, which runs with the country now. I think we largely would all like to see our kids home or deployed elsewhere. I have another son who is in and out of Iraq a lot as weapons computer expert with British government. However, one serves one's commander in chief no matter what, that is the deal. One should only join any miltary branch bearing that in mind. The military are largely a split between dems and repubs same as the USA. Serving should never be a political issue but a general love of one's country.

    As a military wife you would get some priviledges, and the support of other wives, maybe more than you get now, who knows. The main thing is that one joins the military for love of one' country not for hatred of anyone or anything.

    Hope this helps.

    Love Anne Cromwell
    [This Message was Edited on 06/26/2006]
  13. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    Where did you get that letter from saying that FM was not real?Maybe we all should send them a letter asking for an explanation.
  14. mrdad

    mrdad New Member

    I suggest that if your husband enlists in the Service that you not make any "permanent' type decisions (as with the house) until he is at least thru bootcamp. That experience is difficult and some "washout" no matter how well meaning and dedicat ed.

    I hope he thinks hard about his decision as it so directly
    effects you also.

    I'll keep a good thought for you both!
  15. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    The oldest "Joy" was in the Navy and after boot camp was stationed for the whole time in San Diego(We live north of L.A.)She was a corpsmam.

    My other daughter "Jennifer" is in Baghdad right now.She is in supply and works behind a computer all day.I wouldn't say there is NO risk but it is a very low risk job.She's stationed at camp Liberty where the reporters and Bigwigs go/It has 15 ft concrete walls with lookouts.They even have a department store and McDonalds.

    She is going to do a ninemonth tour of her own choosing.She will have a totally free education as .will Joy, though it's only 4 years for Joy. Both daughters will have free medical for life.I think the service is a good thing as long as he checks out everything.Aren't Marines the front line?I don't know.Keep us informed of what happens.Linda
  16. ldbgcoleman

    ldbgcoleman New Member

    Thank you to all of you who have served or have loved ones serving.

    I also think the decision needs to be from a commitment to serving his country and something he really wants to do. yes we are losing soldiers in Iraq daily but most soldiers are serving in other places. The whole thing should be kept in perspective. my son has two friends in the Army and neither is in Iraq or are scheduled to go. This is due to the jobs they have.

    Has he considered the Airforce reserves? He could join the reseves for a year and if he likes it go active duty. Good Luck with whatever you decide. Lynn
  17. texasmaia

    texasmaia New Member

    My first thought was , PRAISE GOD!

    It is truly amazing and awesome to me that young men and women have the desire to serve our country in this way....I love it!!!

    I come from an Army family, But, my son just got out of the Air Force. I will agree with others about Air Force being first choice after great research for us.

    My son grew up wanting to go into the Army. It was never a question, it was what he was going to do. We really looked into it though, and he decided on the AF.

    Let me just tell you this...when he was signing his paperwork and taking the oath, I was in tears. Proud and yet scared. The young man that swore him in sat down with my husband and I afterwards and said,

    "I know you see me wearing these green clothes, maam, and I am as proud and honored to wear them as I could possibly be... but if I had it to do all over again I would be wearing blue. When I go someplace for training there may be Army, Marines and Air Force there. The Marines and Army guys are sleeping in tents and eating packaged meals. The Air Force guys are sleeping in dorms and eating in cafeterias, and we are all here doing the same thing. The government gives the same amount of money to each branch of service. When the Navy and Air Force have ____ members compared to the Army and Marines, you can see easily that they are better taken care of. Your son has made a wise choice in the branch he is serving maam, he will do fine and they will take good care of him."

    I have to say now that he is done....I agree.

    Bless your husband! Bless you for supporting him!!
    Don't worry about the little things, they will get taken care of.


  18. atowne

    atowne New Member

    I would say most have covered the basics ... but I would have to agree that Air Force is the way to go the benefits are better and my husbands brother only being in 3 years is fairing better than hubby who has put in 9 , and the deployment is alot to think of my husbadn is to leave in august for six months only school thank god but im not sure how ill do by myself i cant even carry groceries in lol so good luck to you both with your decisions
  19. tamimm

    tamimm New Member

    I've had fm for about 10yrs now. My husband has been in the Army for 20 yrs. We have almost always been in the EFMP(Exceptional Family Member Program)because of our daughter. All it really does is to make sure that your husband is not stationed too far( I think 50mi) from a military hopital. Which helps on making sure that your duty station isn't way out in no man's land. I only know about the Army, but all of our on-base housing has allowed us to have 2 pets. This is the second time I've had to be alone without my husband for a long period(1 yr). He's in Iraq. It's hard sometimes because I'm not on a military base. Which is by choice. He will be home for 2 wks next month and I'm half joking with him that he will have to dye my hair for me, cuz my shoulders are hurting so much right now. If I was on a military base there would be a big support system and I would have met others there.
    I have loved being a military spouse.