Husband of CFS patient needs ADVICE

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by ramblerted, Mar 29, 2003.

  1. ramblerted

    ramblerted New Member

    Please, no "I am proud of you emails" or sypathetic emails, I need some advice!

    My wife has had CFS for over 5 years. I have spent all the money we had saved over the years to pay our bills. My healthcare insurance and prescriptions for my wife total over $1000.00 per month. (Premium is $725/mo. and we have a 50% co-pay on prescriptions) I can no longer afford to pay for our insurance and keep our modest home (2 bedroom single family home).

    I have an attorney (CFS group reccommended) working on SSI disability for us but this will take some time.

    My home is a wreck (dirty, not maintained) and family and friends are all too busy to lend a hand at home.

    I am out of resources, and patience. I work 5 and 1/2 days per week and my wife is unable to help me around the house.

    Any ideas?

    Email me:

    ted@pil.net

  2. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    This is not a "pity" response, but I am sorry for your problems. Most of us understand how hard this can be.

    When things get to this point, you need to sit down and formulate a plan. Ask your doc about help with prescriptions. I don't whether you qualify for some of the pharmaceutical companies' free meds program, but you could certainly ask.

    You need to do a financial analysis to see just what your assets are. Does your wife qualify for SSD? If so, have you filed? Is there cheaper housing available? Many wait too long until foreclosure is imminent. Mobile home living may not be everyone's idea of living, but often it is the least exepnsive alternative.

    Have you asked your church or any church for help? Have you contacted social service agencies to see if you qualify for any local services? The Salvation Army is wonderful at helping. There are sometimes volunteers who will help out with errands and cleaning for families in your situation.

    How is your wife doing? Is she getting better or worse? Are her treatments effective? Does it appear that she will be down for the long haul or do you foresee that she might be able to help out around the house at some point? Please know that it is very difficult for the sick person to know she cannot help out financially and practically and that the burden falls on her spouse. If she is not making progress, think about seeing another doc while you still have insurance.

    Well, I've tried to provide some thoughts off the top of my head. Some may not be practical for you or apply to your situation, but I hope that at least a couple of things will start you to thinking about how to cope with this. We always have more options than we think we do, but it's hard to see the forest for the trees when we are knee-deep in dealing with this illness. I keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Love, Mikie
  3. turtis

    turtis New Member

    i am a husband who has FMS/CFS and many other problems. i get alot of help from my doctor with free samples and there are drug companies out there that will help with meds depending on income. we live in a real nice mobile home and we wish that we had a house but it is nice not having a huge mortgage payment we pay about 250.00 per month for our 3 bedroom 2 bath home. we are too starting the SSI journey and becuse of my limitaions the house is a little messy but we do what we can and have our 2 little children help with the rest. my wife has to do all of the bills and work becuse i cannot. i just recently lost my job working with robotics becuse i missed work.

    i dont know if this helps any but i to will keep you in my prayers

    Kurt