Husband won't let me go to prayer meetings

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by jill5050, Jul 18, 2004.

  1. jill5050

    jill5050 New Member

    I recently became born again (yeah!).My husband won't let me go to prayer meetings. He says they aren't good people and he'll leave me if I go. Two of the people in it are his former employers. I'm sure this is coloring his view. He feels bitter towards them. I told him it's bigger than that- it's about God. I guess his family is upset with me because they think I'm slapping him in the face by going. None of them are Christians.

    I can go to his church all I want, but feel more fulfilled by this group. I trust them and feel good going there. I'm so torn by this. I have FM and this isn't helping any. I can't support myself and am afraid. I know God will provide a plan for me and keep praying for him to reveal it to me.
    I also pray for my husband daily for God to reveal Himself to him and soften his heart.

    Any advice in dealing with non-supportive spouses that aren't born-again? My kids are confused as they want to go to this other church and hang out with the people. Then their dad says no. Help!

  2. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I doubt if your husband would go for it, but I think counseling would help you both. This isn't a problem about religion; it's a problem about your husband's control issues. He has no right to tell you where you can go. This is emotional abuse and he is being abusive. If he won't go to counseling, go by yourself or contact a local abuse org. to get some help. Emotional abuse can be as bad as physical abuse and can lead to physical abuse. This is not healthy for the children to be observing and experiencing.

    Good luck and my prayers are with you.

    Love, Mikie
  3. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    Praying that God will work on your husbands heart, and change it. That is so controlling to tell you where you can go. That just isn`t going to work. Tell him live and let live or else.

  4. dash

    dash New Member

    Dear Carlie,

    You may be tempted to make this an issue, but your arguing with your husband in not what God wants.

    I'm stepping out on a limb, because a lot of people, even some Christians won't understand this. Christian women are called to be submissive to their husbands.

    (I am not talking about cases of physical and emotional abuse. And this doesn't mean that we are doormats and have no say about anything. It doesn't mean that your husband has the right to compel you to sin and do evil things.)

    Scripture says this:

    1 Pet 3:1-5
    1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any {of them} are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
    2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
    3 And let not your adornment be {merely} external-- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;
    4 but {let it be} the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
    5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands.

    Believe me, if you read on in this selection God places many responsibilities on the man to behave properly toward his wife, but that's another story.

    Not letting you go to a prayer meeting is unfair not abusive. Be obedient. Don't complain to your spouse, but give this issue to God in prayer and be persistent. God can move mountains, He can move your husbands heart. For now, ask God to show you a way to have the spiritual fufillment you desire that will be a positive witness to your husband.

    I will be praying for you,

    [This Message was Edited on 07/22/2004]
  5. jill5050

    jill5050 New Member

    I haven't nagge my husband about finding God at all. I know that if someone did that to me I would run the other way! After he told me not to go I haven't said one word about it. I'm sure he knows that I don't like it, but again I haven't said anything. I feel God is telling me to wait. I'm hoping he is working on my husband, giving him opportunities to see Him. I keep my husband in prayer daily.
  6. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    I do agree with Della here. I think she said about all there is to say.

    There are occasions when husbands/wives, feel left out when one is saved and the other isn't. That happens alot in families.

    But God does not intend for His children to break up a marriage, as He sanctions marriage.

    I was already born again when I married my husband, he was as lost as lost could be. His whole family is also.

    My situation was different from yours as I was already involved in a church with my children when we married.

    I went through a lot of resentment from him, mostly due to his family's interference with their religious beliefs.

    I am Southern Baptist, that is where the Lord put me when I was saved, and untill He says otherwise that is where I am still at.
    I did not bother him about attending church, I simply went with my children. The whole church prayed for him, and in six months he was also saved.

    We are married 31 years now, and at this present time, he is more into his Bible than I am . Due to the FM I am unable to even attend church. I was very active before I got this ill. Read my profile for more info on me.

    I am not saying I have a perfect marriage, there is no such thing in this world, but we have been together a long time, and he is saved by the Grace of God.

    You just hang in there, and let God work with your husband. The Scripture's Della gave you should be a big confort to you.

    Take care, and know that I will add my prayers to the others for his salvation.

    Shalom, Shirl

  7. stilhere

    stilhere New Member

    I'm Jessica and I post here every now and then :), first we all need to agree that there are parts of the bible that some of us will believe and follow and parts of it that we say 'ok, but not me', 'or, okay, I'll try'... and in saying that...I'm a baby christian myself, been baptized for 7 years....but I know my bible....and in the bible, Christ says He is first and then your husband second.......unless he is physically/verbally abusing you and the kids, does not provide for the home, its good that your trying to work it out...An example for you...At my wonderful church in Washington State, there was a wonderful woman who was the Childrens Ministries Director, my God, when she was there, every ministry was growing, she is awesome, we had leaders in every activity, okay, but.....her husband was not baptized.....he didn't like her invovled so much in the church, she still did it....he treated us all with an attitude, we learned to deal with it, because that was him, we prayed for him, then it came that his job was moving out of state, my gosh, she did not want to go, she did her best to try and fight it, of course, it caused more problems in their marriage, until she was counselled, she had no problems in allowing Christ to run her life, she would always tell me when I was troubled, 'jessica, pray to Christ and tell Him that your laying it at the foot of the cross and Christ will take care of you', so, she was hard....but she prayed more.......she gave up the childrens ministry at our church.....she prayed more.....they ended up, instead of moving out of state of him being transfered across the lake somewhere in Washington, at the church they found, she began to minister there and I believe is probably working her way up :)...I guess the moral of the story, is stay in the 'word', keep the Lord in your heart, and be His light and things will work out....I know it... God is good, God does not want marriages to break up....

    Good Luck
  8. Yesh

    Yesh New Member

    was first married, my husband would not let me go to church or bible studies, not without him anyway. If he did not want to go, I could not go. During this time I felt it was advantagous for me to pray and be submissive to my new husband.

    Although the situation is a little different for you, pray, be submissive to your husband's wishes, and let God do the rest. Making this an issue is just what the enemy wants you to do because it will build a wall that creates a divide between you and your husband.

    I will pray for you and your husband

    God Bless