Hypocondriac

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by bettydroop, Feb 12, 2006.

  1. bettydroop

    bettydroop New Member


    I feel like people look at me as though I am a hypochondriac or something.

    My friends will say OH how are you doing? I will say ( WITHOUT GOING INTO DETAIL EVEN) how I am and fibro etc- leave it at that, and they STILL STILL STILL, say--Oh you STILL have that???

    WTF.. what do you mean Do I STILL have that????? HAVE THAT??? I have even told them there isnt a cure yet or even a good treatment per se- and still they wonder WHY I am not over that yet!! ALso sometimes you can look into someone eyes and tell that they think your over complaining , like Oh I get aches and pains too. I get tired too. But I am so strong ( LA LA LA La sing song sing song)that I just pull myself together and do it anyway! I am so tired of hearing that! They still dont believe all the ins and outs of this DD, and I am tired of even thinking they ever will.
    Tehn they say, oh i heard that al you have to do for that is ETC ETC oh just do this , take this, exercise this, BELIEVE THIS.. grrrrr.

    As you can tell I am irritated! I just had to ask if anyone else gets these kinds of responses.
    Oh and I also feel like its my fault and I am ashamed to be like this! I do feel ashamed and guilty, and I know I shouldnt.
    Oh yeah another big one is they say I should go "talk to someone" FOR CRYING OUT LOUD I HAVE talked about it! I am sick of talking about it. I NOW avoid the subject if at all possible, cause I dont wanna talk about it. Again I feel like they think its all in my mind.

    Ok I am done with this rant. Thanks.
    Karen/
  2. Csmiling1

    Csmiling1 New Member

    Karen,

    I can see how angry you are, and your NOT ALONE! I too, feel the same way and people DON"T understand and they won't unless they too suffer with this DD.

    I go through the same thing from DR'S! See, my father in law and sister in law are DR's and they DON"T believe in FM. As a matter of fact, my sister in law called me last week and told me "FM is just a neucience, you need to get out of bed and get a job". Also included "establishing a routine will do the trick, FM isn't life threating."

    So see, I REALLY get your anger and frustration!

    My suggestion, don't waste the little bit of energy that you have on people who don't give a rats a-- anyway.

    Take Care,

    Christina
  3. SherylD

    SherylD Guest

    That you are so upset...You need to just ignor these people..I try to avoid people like this in my life..It only makes you feel worse..

    Even if they are family..talk about the something else..They never will understand..

    We understand!! Just talk to us..

    I soooo often think I did something too..We didn't though!!

    Hope you feel better!! Just smile..We care!!
  4. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    PEOPLE DO THIS ALL THE TIME-EVEN PEOPLE WITH OTHER ILLNESSES THEIRS IS THE 'REAL' ILLNESS OURS ISN'T//////?

    ALSO IT DOES NOT HELP GOING FROM DOCTOR TO DOCTOR AND HAVING THEM TALK ABOUT US THAT WAY. I READ ON TOP OF MY MEDICAL NOTES ONCE 'CONSIDER BI POLAR'(I AM A PSYCHOLOGIST OR WAS)

    THERE WAS NOTHING IN MY BEHAVIOR THAT WOULD HAVE QUALIFIED THIS. HE DID SCRIBBLE IT OUT AT MY REQUEST. ALSO, OFTEN, BECAUSE I HAVE DISABLED DH AND CHILD, THEY WILL JUST SAY THIS IS CAUSING MY SYMPTOMS AS THEY PRESUME BOTH ARE STRESSFUL TO ME WHEN IN FACT THEY ARE NOT. THEY BLAME ME FOR BEING A CARING PERSON.

    lOVE aNNE



  5. sec1971

    sec1971 New Member

    I have a wonderful mother-in-law, but she is extremely overweight and has bad arthritis in her back and knees. Nobody EXPECTS her to do anything. She just sits and everyone expects it. But I'm 35 and I don't LOOK like there's anything wrong with me. So if I don't get up and help with whatever the activity is, everyone looks at me like "what's wrong with you?". It's really hard to deal with. I may LOOK fine, but I certainly don't FEEL fine.
  6. andrea1459

    andrea1459 New Member

    i get that response alot too. The people who think I am that way, I cut them out of my life. The illness in itself is very frustrating, and i dont want people who are not compassionate to be in my life.
  7. Solaris_Starr

    Solaris_Starr New Member

    I too have been treated like a hypochondriac for years by friends, family members and the medical system!!!! It's very depressing and stressful, that's for sure. I have now given up trying to please these individuals. Some times you just have to wave the white flag and give up trying to convince the world that you are indeed ill!

    I have chosen to eliminate people who do not enrich my life with peace and positive feelings. Whether they be family or friends......stress and toxic people (emotional vampires) have to be extracted from your life at some point. Or you will waste what presious energy you have left trying to prove your legitimacy to people who don't really care to begin with.

    When asked.......simply take a deep cleansing breath and let it out slowly, smile and say, "How are (you)doing?! That usually defuses the situation and throws them off the subject of you......and makes them concentrate on themselves.....thus avoiding the Big Explanation (CFID/FMS).

    I hope this was of some help
    Know this, you are not alone here......we are all in the same boat. "Walk a mile in my shoes" is one of my mottos

    Sandy
  8. HAPPYDOGSUZ7777

    HAPPYDOGSUZ7777 New Member

    Aloha,
    I have a husband and boss who both make remarks like they think I'm a hypocondriac. It hurts when people you (have) to be around do this! I'm learning to never (give) them the chance to do this by not talking about FMS or the way I feel around them. Forgive them and try to ignore them if they do bring it up.
  9. bettydroop

    bettydroop New Member


    You guys understand thank you, thank you! I thought you would.

    Another thing when I have talked about it in the past ... after I get done explaining... they say, as they tilt their head to one side " Ohhhhh...have you been a little stressed lately??" I look at them like I cant believe what they said!
    Like someone said in earlier post, like do U think we are so Stupid to think that a solution is THAT simple and the answer to fibro! I should say , well my oh my... I NEVER thought of that!!! thanks so much for your fantastic insight!"

    Im pretty darn sure that the people that Dont believe fibro and cf even exist...would change their minds if I said "OH by the way they just found out that its CONTAGIOUS by speaking to a fibro SUFFERER for more than 10 minutes at a time ." Would they find an excuse to quit the conversation and excuse themselves?? I have a hunch they would. Well we get the point right?? Why would they be afraid if they dont believe it exists??

    Well it sounds like this stupidity probably runs the globe... Unfortuneately.

    ~~We are strong.
    ~~Thanks for relating.
    Karen



  10. mrsgiggly

    mrsgiggly New Member

    I can relate to your problem. I have Fibro, Cfs, IBS, Still's Disease and Lupus. When I was first diagnosed people kept telling me to exercise. "But I'm tired" I said. they just kept telling me that exercise would make it better. Well it didn't it only irritated my joints and caused them to swell trememdously. Still they kept saying "if you just get out of bed" or "depression does not run in our family you are not depressed".

    After a while you stop talking to people because you know they either hate to see you coming or pity you. I don't want pity, I want understanding. I don't expect to explain my feelings to them everyday I just want them to understand when they ask to go to the mall or even for me to cook dinner that it's just not possible on that day or the next day.

    When people ask you how you are they Really don't wanna know. It's just nice to ask so they do. I just say "hanging in there". If they say are you getting better I just say trying. I give them as little info as possible. They really don't wanna know.

    I've even heard that I'm dead weight. I'm taking advantage of them. I've heard I'm useless, all I want is a free ride. All I do is lie in the bed all day. I take too much medicine. I've heard I really don't need all of that medicine I just like taking it. The list goes on and on and get's worse as it lengthens.

    People wonder why we get so moody. Maybe it's because people want you to be something you are not! They have a hard time accepting you for What you are, ILL.

    Continue to post your feelings, if you keep them bottled up you will explode. All of these negative feelings also keep you ill because you worry about how people are accepting of you. Try not to care, I say try because we all know we do care. We can say we don't but we do. I say, live and be around people who truly accept you, all of you, ILLNESS and all.

    GOD bless you, Mrsgiggly
  11. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    This is the worst part of the illness for me. People just can`t seem to get it and don`t seem to care. Yesterday I had something similiar happen. I talked to my best friend, we haven`t talked probably for at least six monthes. She always offends me with her attitude toward my DD.

    Again, she changed the subject evertime something about my Fm came up and started talking about her self and how tired she was. When I told her I just got diagnosed with IC and I had to have a cysto/bladder distention in a week, she acted like it was new big deal and said I always have something wrong. I got very quiet towards the end of the conversation, and she finally got the hint and we got off the phone. That`s the last time she will here from me in years, I just can`t take it anymore.

    I feel very persecuted with these diseases and I am so tired of it.
  12. kjfms

    kjfms Member

    ...When someone asks me how I am doing, I just answer-I am doing fine. How are you?

    I don't see the need to go into detail. Most people just say "How are you?" as a polite icebreaker and do not really want to know how you are really feeling. The unfortunate fact is most people do not want to hear that my head is killing me or that I walk like a little old lady when I first get up. I just think it saves me a lot of headaches and heartaches to just say "I fine". Just my opinion :)

    Of course everyone has their own way to deal with this.

    I hope you feel better,

    Karen
  13. dani78xo

    dani78xo New Member


    i've gotten responses like that ALOT since i got sick.
    all the time it's "well, you LOOK better today."

    i don't think anyone could really understand what it's like to have something like this unless they actually experienced it.

    i've told my closer friends that i have it, and that it's chronic, and they just say "oh, that sucks."
    yeah, it does.

    it's just something that goes along with these illnesses though. unfortunately we just have to deal with constant criticism and "when are you getting better?" remarks.

    just don't let it get to you too much :0]

    -danielle

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