I’m back from Washington. My Mom died while I was there

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by TwinMa, Jul 19, 2006.

  1. TwinMa

    TwinMa New Member

    I flew to Washington (state) on Saturday and was able to see my mom one last time. She died peacefully early Sunday morning.

    She was 83 and had Alzheimer’s. It is possible she had a stroke within the past two weeks.

    She was sitting in a chair when my brother and sister-in-law and I went to see her. She was not able to speak, but it was clear that she knew we were there. She made eye contact with us several times. She also squeezed my hand when I told her I loved her.

    I truly believe she held on until my brother and I could see her one last time. My other brother who lives in Washington had seen her two days earlier. The funeral will be in Wisconsin, so my family and I will be driving there next week.

    I felt pretty good while in Washington, but I’m feeling pretty crummy today. I flew back to Colorado late last night. Today I feel like I’m going into a flare. Sore throat, sore muscles and joints, headache. All the usual stuff. I guess I’m not surprised. I have to go back to work tomorrow. And I definitely need to recover before this road trip to Wisconsin.

    I’m just so grateful that I was able to see her one last time and was able to say goodbye and tell her how much I loved her. That was a blessing.

  2. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    But I'm so glad for you that you made it back to see her and could tell her you love her. I think she answered you with that little squeeze of the hand...probably that was all she could do but she'd do it for you. I hope you can get some rest between your trips...try to let others help with the arrangements. God bless.... Terri
  3. jeduanboneis

    jeduanboneis New Member

    My heart breaks for you. There is no feeling in the world as the feeling of losing your momma.

    Please know that those of us who have lost our mothers remember how it feels to be without her. It doesn't matter where or how you are, your mother always knows. If nobody else in the world does, your mom always knows. So to be without her is heartbreaking.

    My girlfriend has recently lost her mom and she said she just feels as if she is wondering around aimlessly.

    Please know that you are in my prayers.
    Please don't expect too much out of yourself at this time.

    Our whole world changes during this transition.

    May you be given comfort from our dear Father and know that your momma is in the best place ever. It is just us who suffer without our moms, but they suffer no longer.

    God bless you,
  4. TAM

    TAM New Member


    I'm so very sorry to hear that your mom died. Your right though that was a blessing that you were able to see her one last time and you got to say goodbye and you love her,
    i imagine she did hang on until you and your brother got to visit with her.

    My heart goes out to you, and of coarse your in a flare-up the stress alone would make you worse.I hope the trip to wisconsin doesn't make you feel worse and put you in another flare-up.

    Your in my thoughts, agian i'm so sorry about your mom.
    Take care, Tammy.
  5. Jumpinjuice

    Jumpinjuice New Member

    I know that feeling. I was able to spend time with my Mother the day before she passed away and I was so thankful for that short precious time with her. Hang in there and try not to over do it physically because your going to be drained mentally for awhile. Take good care of yourself above all else.
  6. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss and will praying for you and your family. I pray your girls got to know your mom before the disease was too advanced.

    My mom has Alzheimer's and will be moving from Yakima, WA, to Virginia in about two weeks. She will be living with my sister there. I live just 45 minutes from her now, and just hate that she is moving, but she needs to be with someone now instead of living alone.

    I'm very thankful that both my girls (28 and 21) know my mom well and will have wonderful memories of her.

    Prayers for a safe trip and gentle hugs for your lose.

  7. blessedmom2four

    blessedmom2four New Member

    to hear of your loss, but i am happy youn were able to see her before she passed
  8. CarolK

    CarolK New Member


    I was able to do the very same thing when my dear Mother passed away. It made it so much easier to cope with the loss!

    Cherish the memories of your Mother... and if you have any bad ones... well just throw them out and just focus on the precious times you were able to share with her!

    It's been nearly 10yrs. since my Mother died... while I still miss her, I do not grieve cause I know she is in a much better place and the day will come when I will get to see her (and my Father and Sister) again!!

    Hope your heart will soon be eased from your loss by God's great love for you, and that you will soon be able to enjoy all the years of precious memories you and she created together!!

    Take care of yourself TwinMa and get some rest!

    Blessings... CarolK
  9. TwinMa

    TwinMa New Member

    Your kind words are very comforting. I truly appreciate the loving thoughts.

    I hadn't seen my Mom for three years. Time just passes so quickly. I've been trying to get up there for some time, and something always got in the way.

    I'm so grateful that I made it in time to tell her again how very much I loved her.

    She kept moving her mouth trying to speak, but the words just wouldn't come out.

    I told her "I know you are trying to say you love us, and your body just isn't letting you." And she nodded. I kept trying to fill in the blanks for her, and she would either nod or squeeze my hand. Bless her heart for hanging on until we got there.

    My brother said she had given us all she could, and it was time for her go.

    My Dad passed away in 1997 and she has missed him terribly. Now she can be with him. My SIL said that my Dad was probably chasing my Mom around the kitchen table right now. Neither one is tied to their broken bodies any more.

    Thank you again for your sympathies. I cried while reading your sentiments. You guys are great!

  10. gidgetsmom

    gidgetsmom New Member

    So sorry for your loss. I'm so glad you got to see her tho. Will keep you in my prayers for the strength to deal with your health and sorrow.
  11. kholmes

    kholmes New Member

    I'm sorry about the loss of your mother. I'm really glad that you were able to see her and tell her you loved her before she died.

    I hope you get to feeling better soon, and I hope your trip to the funeral in Wisconsin goes well.

  12. cjcookie

    cjcookie New Member

    It is wonderful you got to see her. I'll pray that you feel better soon and feel good enough for the trip.

  13. Roseblossom

    Roseblossom Member

    I'm so glad you were able to look into each other's eyes, hold hands and say I love you.

    Sending comforting thoughts,

  14. sisland

    sisland New Member

    And prayers are with you !!
  15. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member


    Oh me, oh my................dear take care..............

  16. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    ...I lost my Dad a couple of months ago; it's never easy. I will say a prayer for you and your family. Try to take care of yourself as well as you can during this time.

    ((((Gentle Hugs))))
  17. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    I am sorry to hear about your Mom but glad to hear it was peaceful.

    When ever I fly I always feel like I am going into a flare.
    It's the terrible air quality. You also should drink alot of water. You might want to get as much fresh air as you can.
    I hope you are doing better soon. Get lots of rest.
  18. joeb7th

    joeb7th New Member

    My mom passed away a few years ago at 86. I was in the convalescent home room with her when she passed. It frightened her so much, I am certain she felt it happening and her eyes got big.

    It doesn't matter what age they are. The feeling of loss is the same.

    Life is short in this sense...time passes so quickly.

    It's nice for someone to live into their eighties, but even a life this long is a speck in time.

  19. ckball

    ckball New Member

    I am sorry to hear about your mother. At least you did get to have those moments you will treasure.

    I will not say I know how you feel, because I couldn't imagine. Just take care and take time when you need it, even if it means 10 minutes alone in a quiet room.

    My prayers are with you and your family- Carla
  20. findmind

    findmind New Member

    Your post title made my heart lurch as I had to fly from Texas to Washington to be with my mother while she was dying from a ravishing e.coli infection contracted while she lived in a nursing home. She was 79 two days before she died.

    I sincerely feel for you. I hope you can find some time to spend just thinking about her and feeling her love for you, and yours for her. When I did this, I felt my Mom's presence so strongly, and it comforted me.

    I can't imagine you working,
    the way you are feeling! I will be thinking of you as you go to the funeral.

    Please let us know how you are doing.

    Many blessing on you and your family,

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