OK, I NEED to write this for my sanity....I cannot talk to family or friends about this because I am embarassed and ashamed. I would only get yelled at for everything I am doing wrong. So I have come here hoping you all can send some good wishes my way...PLEASE! I just found out today that I have bounced 3 (THREE!!) checks. I NEVER, EVER bounce checks. I think I did one or two times, but those were bank errors and they were fixed. See the problem is, my bank has this new policy where...if you put a check in the bank, they "hold" it for 2 business days until it clears...Well, long story short, I had to pay my mortgage VERY late (including the $70 late fee) b/c we are really struggling financially right now. I deposited a ck in the ATM on Sat, and somehow my other payment that I mailed on Fri cashed on Monday, so they bounced all my other checks (that were GOOD BTW...they just don't show the funds cuz of their STUPID new policy). Anyway, I now have 3 overdraft fees, which means there is another $105 down the drain, when I can't even afford to buy food anymore! See..my dh & I make good/decent $$ - we bought this house 4 yrs ago when things were really good - we were fine! But since then, everything has gone downhill for us. We were MAJORLY scammed by a mortgage co when we bought this house - our payment ended up being WAY more than we could afford, so we got SCAMMED again 2 yrs later by ANOTHER mortgage co who talked us into a loan that was interest only...which was a MAJOR mistake, so we had to refi AGAIN (3rd time) to get the rates fixed, and ended up $50,000 more in debt than we were in the 1st place. Then b/c more levies passed here, our monthly payment is FAR MORE than we can afford. We have oil heat - and oil prices have jumped almost 200% since we moved here..........we TRIED to compensate by purchasing a wood burning furnace, but it only helps slightly. My dh was in a car accident this week - it happened right in front of me - I was behind him. A snow plow came crashing into him when we were trying to get to work - luckily no one was hurt, but we now have to deal with the insurance co, and this is turning into a JOKE! Our car is totaled (yes, the one that the payment is late on)....I am just so frustrated right now. I am terrified we are going to lose our home----we fought so hard to get here, and no...it's not some fancy great place (BY ANY MEANS) but it has been our dream. My dh is adamant now that we just sell it and lose everything. We have both worked too hard to just give up. I know I am rambling now, but I feel like the biggest loser, a failure. I have never been late on bills or had bounced checks...now I have these IDIOTS from other countries calling me constanly to see when I mailed my payments, and it's making me sick! I feel like I am a horrible mom too - these beautiful children deserve better than me....a mom who HAS to work, and doesn't have meals and fresh-baked cookies when they get home. I have to sit at 10 pm to do their homework, and it is all killing me. Bottom line is that I feel like I have FAILED BIG TIME in life...these are feelings I just MUST hide - I know deep in my heart I am a BIG failure. Please....what can I do to make things better for my family? I am at a loss. DH and I have STRUGGLED too much to get to where we are and just lose everything..but I think that is where we are headed. I don't understand why I would be blessed with so many things, to just lose it all....when I am hanging on so desperately, waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel.............Does any of this make any sense?