I am at my wits end

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by hagardreams, Mar 26, 2006.

  1. hagardreams

    hagardreams New Member

    Not just the pain, but the diabetes, my husband and family. My husband attempted suicide last August and for two weeks we didnt know if her would ever wake up, much less walk. He was finally diagnosed with bipolar 2, and they have him on several meds. I realize he cant give me anything, he cant even take care of himself. 33 years of diabetes is wearing thin with me. Not to mention the fibromyalgia. I just feel so lost and alone. I have no close friends, they all disapeared years ago when the diabetes and fibro got really bad. I want to just run away, but the pain and health problems will just go with me. I think I am starting to feel like he did when he took all those pills, except I dont want to die, I just want all of this stuff to go away so I can live. I know most of you are in the same shoes, someone that does not have fibro does not understand. If I could get away, I have not had a vacation in over 10 years, and probably couldnt handle the ride. I am so tired! I am tired of having no money, I am tired of the cars not running, I am tired of not having anyone hug me! I have no support. Is there an answer, I just dont see the light at the end of the tunnel.
  2. tjhoesch

    tjhoesch New Member

    You must hang on! We must pray for each other. I am on disability, but the court is making me pay back child support with 12% interest compounded at 1% monthly! I owe $18,000, $15,000 just in interest! Can you believe the stupid laws? Also the court can deduct 65% of SSDI check, leaving me with $300-$400 month to live on. This seems inhumane! Believe me, there is always someone worse off than you (and me!) I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel either, but must live one day at a time. I know, sometimes it just gets so overwhelming! I feel like we get punished for becoming sick! Please don't give up! TJ
  3. nanna4550

    nanna4550 New Member

    Things will get better. Today you may not think so, but miracles do happen and you are loved. Life gets pretty darned hard sometimes, but you will become stronger through the hard times, so just take it day to day and do something that you enjoy every day. Read a book, cook a special recipe, clean out a closet,watch a favorite movie.
    I know I forget to do things that please myself, so this is a reminder for me also to let myself have an ice cream cone. It makes a big difference when I ask myself if there is anything I can do for myself today that will be a treat for me (as if I was doing something for a special friend).
    You are special, be good to yourself, OK. LOL, Nanna
  4. CountryRocker

    CountryRocker New Member

    I'm worn so thin right now from pain that I'm not much help but I wanted to send you a gentle hug.
    I do have a suggestion but don't know if it's a good one. Can you get a pet that depends on you for it's survival? Then you can't give up on yourself because you have them to take care of.
    I have the nice house, the nice cars, the vacations, and I'd gladly give them to you if it would make this horrible pain go away. The other things mean nothing unless you can enjoy them so believe me that you aren't missing anything there. What you are missing is some rest from pain, mental and physical. There has got to be something for us out there. We just need to find it.
  5. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Sending some ((HUGS)) to you!

    I didn't have the energy to respond when I saw your post last night; but I did pray for you as I rested. I can't think of any solutions , but that doesn't mean that God has brain fog or CFS exhaustion.

    I can just say I know how you feel, as I come to the end of my rope frequently with severe clinical depression, PTSD
    for my whole lifetime, and all the difficulties of CFS.

    I have to reach out for help a lot to get through difficult times.

    Keeping you in my prayers.
    Love, JUdy
  6. pamsue

    pamsue New Member

    hagard, I am so sorry for all you have to go through. That is so much to have to deal with. My husband has diabetes and I am struggling with FM and RSD. That is more then enough.

    I truly hope you will find some answers and know that everyone here cares and will be praying for you

    God Bless

  7. Sheila1366

    Sheila1366 New Member

    Reading your post brings tears to my eyes.I can really feel you pain.I am so sorry, I really am.

    I wish that somehow I could beam myself over there to hold you and help you.Atleast we can travel through cable lines and give you a cyber hug.

    The thing between depression/bipolar 2 and fm are that with fm you want to live with bp you don't.

    You aren't turning into your husband you are just one very tired woman.And I surely understand why.

    Just keep talking to us here.

    This is a great place to vent,cry and laugh.We need to feel all these emotions with someone and here is the best place for that.

    I am really sorry about your husband.Being the caregiver to someone when you need a caregiver yourself is very very hard job to pull off.

    I hope that thing s have gottten better for you.I'll be praying for ya.