I am getting really scared...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kmelodyg, Apr 28, 2003.

  1. kmelodyg

    kmelodyg New Member

    Hi everyone. I hope that you are all doing OK today. It's such a shame. It is 75 degrees and sunny out in old Central New York, and I can't get out and enjoy it. My pain has been rapidly spreading and intensifying. I am getting really scared. It used to be at about an 8 in my back, 10 in pelvic area around different times of the month, and about a 5 in my knees. Now, it is all over my legs, arms, hands and feet. And my pain in my legs has gotten worse than the pain in my back. This really only started up last fall. And in the past month, it has gotten out of control. I am taking all kinds of meds and supplements, and can rarely get it under a 4 anymore. I used to be able to get it to a 1 or 2. Is this common? Can this pain really intensify this much this fast? It seems so bizarre. Also, I noticed that even my scalp hurts when I brush my hair. And I also get horrible night sweats. It seems to be hitting me like a ton of bricks. I am taking Paxil for my depression which seems to help. But I am PMSing right now so bad, and it has been hard to pull myself out of the "slumps". I guess this is what everyone has been calling a flare. I am going through alot of stress right now with family problems, financial problems, and issues with my boyfriend. So, mabye that's why it is has increased so much. I am just really scared. I can't imagine it being any worse than this. And I know that it could be. That is what scares me. I know that I have to remain as positive as possible and take it one day at a time. But I am getting really overwhelmed right now. I watch my mother everyday, who has had FMS for 6 years and degnertaive disks and MS, and I know how bad it really can get. She is like the worst example of how bad it really can get. I don't want to turn out like that. And that seems to be where I am headed. I am only 25 years old for pete's sake!!! Well, any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. I really need you all right now. Thanks.

    Love,
    Kathryn
  2. KristyW

    KristyW New Member

    Kathryn,
    I so know how you feel. I was diagnoised with FMS about 3 years ago. I had no idea what it was until i looked it up on the internet and seen i had every symptom. It started when i was 15 (im 24 now) I went to doctor's and specialists and no one could tell me what was wrong with me. I went through i think every phsyical therapy place around my area and have been on about every pain and inflammatory available. It just keeps getting worse. There is this clinic called The Raj out west but it is so expensive for 3 days i cannot afford that. It is like a spa, you stay in there for 3-7 nights and you get massages and they tell you how to eat and what to do to lessen your pain, but like a said it's to expensive. My FMS has gotten worse year by year. I feel like i am going to pull my hair out. I have a 5 year old son and it's hard to take him out in the summer when it is humid and hot. Those are my worse days. Last summer i called off work so many times because i couldn't get out of bed. Noone understands your pain unless they have been through it. I feel for you and every one that has this, it is a pain. I have even tried this poweder stuff. I lay on the couch in the summer with heating pads on my back and ice packs on my knees. Talk about a hot/cold flash. I pray that one day they will come out for a cure or miracle drug that we could take once a day and have no side effects. (wishful thinking)All i can say is to pray and live your life the best you can. We all have horrible pain and wish it would go away. If anyone has had any medicine that actually helped them, please let me know. Other than that i wish you all restfull days.
    -Kristy
  3. layinglow

    layinglow New Member

    I am so sorry you are going through this. The only med you mentioned was Paxil. What pain meds are you taking. I think it would be very wise to make an appointment with your Doctor, and tell he or she how much the pain has increased. Perhaps a change in meds could bring you some relief.

    Now for the lecture, hon---you simply have got to get the stress under control, by what ever means you can. This so very much exasterbates our disorders. Work on it in small baby steps affirming that you will not let the job of dealing with it stress you out more. You simply must take each area, slowly one at a time, and implement a method for stopping the stress. We cannot feel better until we have removed stressors from our lives. I have found there are those things I can greatly affect---or get rid of. Nothing or No one---is worth making me hurt, so bad, and feel so ill, if they will not change their stressful behavior. Those things I have no control over such as finances, I make a promise to myself to NOT let it stress me. This is a concious commitment.

    Please you must take good care of yourself----physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Arrange to get some help with pain relief, and begin removing the stress.

    You are in my prayers,
    Soft hugs, LL
  4. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    For all y'all who are flaring right now. I was pretty much in bed for a month not long ago from the Red Tide because I was soooo exhausted, but I didn't have such pain. I keep us all in my prayers every day. I hope everyone gets to feeling better.

    Love, Mikie
  5. praisingHim

    praisingHim New Member

    Just wanted to make sure you knew that one of the side effects of Paxil is night sweats. Hope you feel better soon.
  6. spazmonkey

    spazmonkey New Member

    that your going through so much pain!!! I just wanted you to know that whenever i start new medications i go through a flare. But it does pass and get better unless its the wrong drug for you. In my own personal experience, Paxil did not work for me and i had horrendous side-effects.

    layinglow is definitely right about eliminating all the stress factors..Its a must!!! You will not get better unless you do this. I remember when i was working full-time, going to school full-time, making a long-distance relationship work and trying to have a social life how in pain I was and things just started to get worse. At that point in time I honestly believed that I HAD to do all of those things. It took me awhile to realize, hey im sick--i need to make adjustments to my life or im not going to get any better. My health is much more important than feeling crappy and in pain all the time. Once I got a less stressful job, made amends with my boyfriend and moved in with him instead of trying to live a long-distance relationship, ate better, forced myself to excercise and keep a similiar routine everyday--things got soo much better, not completely pain free but sooo much better!!!!

    So, i suggest doing happy fun things with your mom. Get your mind off of your pain, as hard as it may be and take it easy. Watch funny movies, read inspirational books, etc. Maybe you can make a pact that you won't be negative around each other because this only adds to your pain level. This may actually help your mom out as well. And if you find that your mom is bringing you down in any way--as hard as it may be, and i know you want to be the best daughter you can be, but you might have to distance yourself for awhile. I mean, you can't help a person until you help yourself, right?? Look at the relationship you have with your boyfriend-I know you've told me before how great he is, work out those issues that you guys have and try to realize how much he is trying to help you. I used to get actually angry at my boyfreind for trying to help me because i was angry at myself for not being able to help myself-ugh, what was I thinking???

    With your financial problems, isn't your boyfriend helping you out?? Or is that one of the issues your having with him.

    Anyways, I think many of us feel like we are stuck in situations when really we decide how happy or how miserable are life is going to be. Even though its easy to forget this on days we are in soo much pain. I have a book that im going to recommend to you...Ill write a post about it because I think it's the best fibro book i've read to date(and ive read a bunch of them). I forgot the name of it, so ill write you later (fibro fog)...

    Lots of hugs, and i really hope you feel better soon!! Just think there will be a good day ahead!!!
    Spaz
  7. kmelodyg

    kmelodyg New Member

    Hi everybody. Thank s for writing back. It really means so much to me. Well, first of all, my meds that I am taking are Paxil, Percocet, Ultram, and Oxycontin. Not all at once! Just alternating when needed. It isn't helping too well. I just spoke to my doctor's nurse today. He raised the dosage of Percocet back to 10 mg. instead of 7.5. But he only wants me to take it 3 times a day. Yeah right. I am supposed to go and see him this week to discuss my new issues, And he also raised my Paxil from 20 mg. to 40 mg. He also said that he is going to refer me to a neurosurgeon because of my extreme pain issues.

    In the past few weeks, I found out that my grandmother who is in FL, is dying soon. ANd my aunt also has a few days to live because of cancer. My sister has been as lazy and annoying as usual. And her 11 month old son has been cranky and crying all the time because he's teething. My mother found out that she was refused by her plastic surgeon to have reconstructive surgery on her breasts because of her masectomy 6 years ago. I don't speak to my father and he has been doing some really bad things that I have been hearing about. My other sis is graduating college next month and will be going to South Korea for a year to teach. And she is breaking up with her boyfriend of 2 years. My boyfriend is beyond depressed at this point. He has been living with all of us and is at his wits end. He talked to me last night about how he is losing his patience with all of the drama around here.

    Financially, I do not hav emany bills. Lots and lots of debt, but not many immediate bills. And my boyfriend pays for alot of my extras. But I do not have my own financial stability anymore. I do not like being dependent on him. He does not make that much money to begin with. I do not have the money or energy to "get away from it all: like I would like to. I dream about it everyday. All of my unemployment checks go to medical expenses. And that is running out soon. Then and only then can I apply for government assisted medical coverage.

    I do try my hardest to stay as positive as possible. It's funny that someone mentioned that Bill Murray movie, "What about Bob". I am taping it in a couple of days on TV. Considering all of the crap I am dealing with from everyone else around me, I am usually pretty secure. I am always the one who is taking care of everyone else and is pushing aside my own issues. Now it has been coming to a head. But this seems to happen consistently at this time of the month from my raging PMS!!!

    I appreciate all of your warm thoughts and prayers. I need all the support I can get right now. Thank you guys, so very much.

    Lots of love,
    Kathryn
  8. NewEnglander

    NewEnglander New Member

    Kathryn
    I'm afraid too, I got this illness when I was 29, it was really bad but went away, well not completley,but was better. I'm 42 and feel mad. I'm like saying to myself, I'm too young for this and I'm an old lady. But you are in a flare, that what my flares are like anyway. pms makes it worst do too hormone changes, plus being stressed doesn't help.. Hang on, it will pass, u will feel better, take deep breaths, that's what everyone tells me LOL...I can't believe I just said that to you, you poor thing..call your doctor..forget the breathing, well not completely...I live in Massachuesettes so I know what the cold and crazy weather can do, makes everything ache, but I bet you before you know, you will be laying on the beach catching the rays. make sure you eat and take care of yourself and try not to get too upset..I think the mother in me is coming out. must be cause of your age. take care
    Lisa