I am hurting so very badly today

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by diggity, Oct 10, 2002.

  1. diggity

    diggity New Member

    Ooohhh, I don't want to spend another whole day in bed. I want to clean my house and bake some cookies and get the house nice and warm and cozy for when my family gets home, but all I can think to do is go back to bed. I hurt soooo bad today. I've had about a week of feeling pretty good, better than usual. Not so much pain, I was almost functional. Last night I began to hurt again, and by the time I got up this morning, I could barely stand up. Everything hurts so bad, and all I feel like doing is getting back under the warm comforter. I don't know that I'm hurting if I'm sleeping.

    Sorry for being such a whiney baby, I know a lot of people think one should just pull themselves up by their boot straps and not complain, but I just haven't hurt this bad in a long time and I just don't handle it very well. I've always been able to overcome most anything and this seems so far to be bigger than I am. Oh my God, I hate feeling like this.
  2. diggity

    diggity New Member

    Ooohhh, I don't want to spend another whole day in bed. I want to clean my house and bake some cookies and get the house nice and warm and cozy for when my family gets home, but all I can think to do is go back to bed. I hurt soooo bad today. I've had about a week of feeling pretty good, better than usual. Not so much pain, I was almost functional. Last night I began to hurt again, and by the time I got up this morning, I could barely stand up. Everything hurts so bad, and all I feel like doing is getting back under the warm comforter. I don't know that I'm hurting if I'm sleeping.

    Sorry for being such a whiney baby, I know a lot of people think one should just pull themselves up by their boot straps and not complain, but I just haven't hurt this bad in a long time and I just don't handle it very well. I've always been able to overcome most anything and this seems so far to be bigger than I am. Oh my God, I hate feeling like this.
  3. SleepyWillow25

    SleepyWillow25 New Member

    Hello! Firstly I wouldlike to give you a gentle hug and to tell you I completely and totally understand how you are feeling. I am also in a lot of pain especially tonight, it feels like I have gone off all of my pain medication and I am going cold turkey. Of course I have not and it is just this dreaded illness.

    Please never say sorry for having a vent on here about how you are feeling. Remember we are not the type of people to say "pull your socks up and stop complaining". Hell I say pull those socks way down and complain all you want!!! After all you, I and everyone on this list and all the CFS people in the world have to go through physically, mentally and socially I think we should be allowed to vent as much as we need too.

    Have you read "The Thief of Many Lives"? yet? I just posted it on here. It is so real it took my breathe away when I first read it. I read it and finally thought my illness is understood. Then i had a bit of depression as it is a very direct poem about this illness and very bluntly true.

    I can't do much but listen to you as I listen to others and tell you that your welcome to vent, complain on here. We are all supporting of each other and that is what makes such a support group so wonderful.

    Not only do we have people that truly understand us but they accept us even when we are complaining and venting. Instead of telling you to smile life isn't that bad and all those comments you have pepople here that are really listening. They are feeling your pain deep inside and totally understand.

    I doubt we could be more welcome or be totally ourselves else where and that is why this support board is such a wonderful thing.

    I wish I could do more for you and everybody else on this list. This illness is certainly not fair and has no mercy.
    It has shown me one thing though... the strength of a human persons soul and how there really are some loving and wonderful people in this world.

    God Bless you and everyone else on this list!

    Thinking and holding you all in my prayers...

    Belle T
    Vic, Australia
  4. G

    G New Member

    If you can wrap yourself up in your warm comforter, please do so and rest. I hope the family will understand that you need to rest.

    I, too hurt like that yesterday evening into the night and could barely move. I was a little scared thinking I may not get to my bed from the computer room. I made it although struggling all the way. This morning I don't feel too bad but will go back to bed soon and rest for the day. I am glad I am able to this and I am lucky that I can.

    I will think of you today and hope you feel better tomorrow than you do today. (((Gentle hugs)))

    G

  5. diggity

    diggity New Member

    Thank you for your kind words. I am sitting here struggling to keep from crying. First because I'm hurting so badly today, but I think moreso because of the sense of loss that I feel with this horrible disease. I was talking to my Mother yesterday and I said, if God is trying to get my attention and tell me something, I wish He would just say "HEY!, this is what I want you to hear" instead of all the things (not only this disease) that has been happening to my family lately. I have always been such an independent person, very pleased with the fact that I could handle almost anything. That made it very hard for me to have to ask for help for anything, and that included needing attention or even sympathy from my family and friends. Now suddenly I seem to be almost helpless, in that my house is a wreck, I can't seem to get an entire meal cooked for my family, I'm not working, I just don't seem to be good for anything anymore. I think that maybe that has been harder for me to deal with during all of this than the actual
    pain. I have seen a few posts on here that seem to be of the tone that we should "take charge and DO something" about this disease, that if we say "I hurt" then we are giving in and they just don't want to fool with anybody that hasn't conquered their sadness and anger. I do really appreciate those like yourself who understand and have compassion for the fact that even as positive as we can try to be, there will still be flare ups. Thanks again for your kind reply, and I hope you are feeling well today.
  6. diggity

    diggity New Member

    We were apparently typing at the same time. I do think I'm going to end up back in the bed. Even my earlobes are hurting. I'm glad you are feeling a little better today. When I went to bed last night, and when I got up this morning, it seemed to be a monumental struggle just to lift my feet to take a step. I took my son to school and came back and sat down here at the computer. I would've already laid back down, but I dread trying to move. It's just so frustrating wasting so much time in the bed. I want to be up DOING something, I just can't, and that makes me frustrated and angry on top of hurting. Thanks for you kind words, things like that really do seem to help, I hope your day continues to be better and better. diggity
  7. SleepyWillow25

    SleepyWillow25 New Member

    It seems a few of us are writing at around the sametime. Please there is no need to thank me I am just glad to listen to you and to let you know I understand. It must be really hard being a Mother as well as a wife.

    It is hard enough for me being a wife and not being able to clean the house before my husband gets home from work (that is when he has a job) and unable to cook and do all those things healthy wives do for there husbands.

    My husband and I met over IRC Chat over four years ago. He is American and grew up in AZ. I am Australian and have lived all of my life in Victoria, Melbourne. We have been married for nearly three years.

    Sadly my husband is also chronically ill and becuase of this the Australian Gov. does not want my hubby to stay in Australia. The stress of fighting immigration is worse then trying to get benefits.

    My husband's Kidneys are failing and his eye sight hence he is not working right now. We moved back to my parents house as we have no money and the stress upon us both is weighing us down. We have appealed to immigration to let Mike stay on the grounds I am too ill to travel even short distances, let alone half way across the world. Also leaving my support network, family and friends would cause a strain. There is no way I can go to the USA.

    You would think seeming we are married he would be allowed to stay wouldn't you? Nope not the case. In fact they have split more then a few marriages up over simular matters.

    Not only do I have CFS I also have FM, M.E, IBS, Endo., PCOS and my husband is a fragile Diabetic (that is what his specialists call him". His always having eye operations but he can't see very well and will be needing a kidney transplant in the future. So when it comes to stress trust me I know how much it affects our illness and our emtional state.

    You have every right to feel the way you do as I feel i have a right to feel as I feel. Just remember your not alone though. It is hard this life we live... lets just pray one day soon there will be some sort of break through.

    God Bless You

    Belle

    PS/ ya welcome to e-mail me @ mikenbelle@ihug.com.au

    It is late in Australia, I don't sleep well at night... it is 2.30 AM :( I find the sicker I am the less I sleep. Crazy bloody illness! :(
  8. paula45

    paula45 New Member

    I'm so sorry for you. I've been in so much pain for the last couple of weeks, I can barely walk. It hurts my hands to try to open a pack of Sweet N Low, then it hurts again when I lift my coffee cup. I've been in so much pain, I'm shaking all over and trying to keep on going. On the verge of tears most of the time. I'm going to a pain doc today, and I don't want to go because I've been let down so many times before. I don't think I can take another disappointment. And to make it worse, my hubby has decided to pretend nothing is wrong. I'm sorry to whine...I just want you to know that you aren't alone. I'm feeling so very alone and depressed right now, I come here just to know that others are suffering too. Does that sounds pitiful? Please, take care of yourself. We all need to hear that from each other. Sending you a gentle hug and hoping you feel better soon.

    Paula