I am losing my mind.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Nov 4, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    Just when I think life is going on a even keel something happens to change that. It started with my husband getting a bad cold . I don't sleep great any way but with him in bed coughing and hacking till he sounds like he is going to throw up , was keeping any kind of sleep away from me.
    This has been going on for a week and it is making me nuts.

    My youngest daughter and her husband along with my grandson came to stay for a couple of nights.The baby {he is 19 months old}My daughter is expcting her 2nd baby a girl so she has been told .She has a bad cough as does the baby. But we did get to visit a bit.

    Last night my husband went to Odgen to see his sister and our daughter , SIL and grandson. But the baby was sick with croup and was in the shower with my daughter to try to get his cough to loosen up . H


    He went to the doctor today but when my daughter called she said that the doctor gave her something for his cough and that was all. Then my smartly pants grandson somehow got the cap off of his over the counter cough medication. And propmtly drank about 1/4 -1/2 of the cough medication.

    He did this while we were talking on the phone so she hung up and called posion control who told her to get him to drink lots of fluids and keep him awake and not let him fall alseep for at least one hour.

    When I last talked to her he was running around playing and laughing and wanted to go out side and play. So she had taken him out side for a while it kept him awake. But no meds for him tonight.

    And she is to watch for things like he does not wake up when shaken. And there were a few other things and if he gets bad to take him to the ER. Since I have not heard from her I presume that he is ok. But it is worring me alot.

    He loves any medications. And the one he drank tasted nasty. But he liked it any way. I guess that because he is a big baby wighing in at about 27 lbs that the posion control said to watch him.

    I don't think he got much or they would have had to take him t the ER and get some nasty charcoal in him. I am still worried about him and will be till I get to hear from his mom tomorrow.

    She is going to have to hide all the meds they ahve in the house so he can't get them. This was on the counter and he climbed up on a chair to get to it. He climbs up any and every thing he can and has NO FEAR! But his Grandma does.

    My daughter is so calm about this and I am the one that is stressing over it. I know that she was upset and worried about him but I would have taken him to the ER asap But that is me. I took my own kids to the doctor for every little thing.So they don't like to go to the doctor now.


    And then there is me who goes to my doctor every month for my scripts. It is really hard to have this dd and other pain problems as I wanted to go to see them today but it was so cold here that I could not go as I was hurting so much. May be tomorrow we will go and check on them.

    My girls really don't think that this pain I have is REAL or that it lasts for hours, days, months and years. I sometimes have had a flare last for a month or 2 and have had my daughters want me to do things for them and I can't because I am in bed from this unending pain.

    At the first of the week my oldest called me at 7:30 am to ask me if I could watch her friends puppy who has a broken leg and he has to be not running around and left alone .
    I would have to carry him outside to potty and them climb up the stairs to get him back in the house. I had taken a soma about 20 minutes before then and I was so out of it , not just from taking the soma but I am not a morning person.
    I told her that I could not do it. That I just was not feeling good and that I could not life the puppy . She forgets that I shattered my left wrist 2 years ago and it is hurting me more and more.

    And I can't lift any thing over 25 lbs and the puppy wieghed about that but I can't bend down and lift him up over the play pen that he was in. And of course that just made her made at me and she still is. She gets so angry with me for not doing the things that she wants me to do.

    When she wants me to do them. It does not matter that she knows that I don't feel good , to her I am just not treating her like she wants.

    So now I have one daughter mad at me because I don't "EVER do any ting that she asks me to do" and the other with a sick baby and she is coughing as well and is pregnant . And my other daughter is back east and I have not heard from her for a week so I don't know how she is doing. When I have called her she is eigher working or it is too late to talk with her. I am up a creek no matter what .

    I really want all of the girls to be happy and well. But I can't make them happy and do every thing that they want me to do. some times it is so hard to get thru to them that there is really some thing wrong with me besides my fibro. That you can't see.
    I don't get it? Their dad has diebeties and you can't see it either but they belive him and give him full support but for me they don't think that Fibro is real.

    I get the most support from my youngest daughter who is the one with the baby and she is having some marrige issues but at least she belives in me most of the time.

    And she does not gripe at me alot.
    Here I am whining about me . Adn I should be thinking about my grandson.

    WOW am I glad that I keep my meds out of his site and locked up so that he can't get to them because if he got my meds they could kill him. AS I am on Mscontin 100 mg's.

    But I only keep 1 days supply out and it is down stairs in my bedroom and he is not allowed to go down stairs with out his mommy or me as there is too many tools of my husbands down there and it is not good for him to be there.
    I will stop gripping now. As this is so long.
    Rosemarie
  2. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Rosemarie:

    I know you are worried and want to help, but the worrying will not help with your illness.

    Please do not flare over this and see if you can get some extra rest.

    Easier said than done, but well worth it.

    You are a caring woman and need a little TLC for yourself, too. You deserve it!

    nyrofan
  3. minkanyrose

    minkanyrose New Member

    I have had vouts with kids not understanding also and just recently started telling my self It's ok you can't do everything it's ok. over and over again.

    I had a bout with my youngest this past week 16 yr old. I asked her to clean the kitchen and take out the trash and I got you expect us to do everything you are always sick why can't you do more.

    It used to cut me like a knife but the it's ok helps some. I yelled at her i wish I could do more do you think I like being so sick? after a cool down time she came to me and said I am sorry mom I know you can't do it all and you don't like being sick< She said She just gets so frustrated sometimes that I am so sick and it comes out like that she is sorry to yell at me but she had to let ott steam because she is so worried about my DD.

    So the it's ok thing gets me through the outburst because I know they don't really mean it they are just as frustrated as I am.

    I have to let them be mad sometimes to. sounds like you need to just let them be mad and go on they will come back. I get the diabeties thing also why is one illness ok and not another invisable one. my dad had cancer and no one could see it but knew he was in pain but they don't see my pain, aWORLD OF UNINFORMED DISBELEIF HAS CAUSED THIS.

    OK i HAVE RANTED ENOUGH hope you can unstress.
  4. Liz919

    Liz919 New Member

    rosemarie - I'm sorry you're not getting along that well with your daughters right now. I'm sure they'll come around soon. You just have to remember that even though you parent differently doesn't mean you're a bad parent. At least that's what I tell myself :)

    minkanyrose - I have a 16 yr old little sister....and they would fuss about chores even if you weren't sick so take heart it's just a stage apparently. My lil sis thinks everyone works too much and she has to do all the real work and that I should still have to do chores...when I come over to visit! I don't even live there anymore! lol

    Hugs to everyone and I hope you feel happier soon!
  5. tejanya

    tejanya New Member

    my mind has been gone for so long it must be traveling the universe. it seems as though all common sense of everyones wwent with it.
    my family say they understand the limitations of the is fibro, but do not always show it.
    my daughter didn't when she lost her temper and went to jail for 40 days. thanks to her then guy. i had her 2 girls and went through a lot of stupid thoughtless stuff with her. she knows better then that.
    i go for an ultrasound and compression test on my breast next week. but this week i enjoyed the trick or treating the town had going on. i shopped for about an hour with my cuz. she is taking care of her mom i law who had a stroke and the left side doesn't work. she doesn't have fibro or cfs, but she sure exhibits cfs.
    i also had a couple beers just for the fun of it. i take the time to rest (sometimes). and it really helps. now i am on overload. and have a headache on the leftside. it is just a muscle acting up.
    when your peoples want to lead your dancing. DO NOT LET THEM. learn to say no. regardless of the other persons feelings. emergencies are different. but a pups broken leg is not one.
    also laugh a whole bunch. there are always silly things going on. you just have to look.
    get your flu and pneumonia shot (if you do that) because those children and grandkids will be around a lot. WHY? you love them and they love you.
    eventually the kids grow up. mine is 29 and we are still waiting. yee haw!
    oh yeah, do you scream into a pillow ever? it works great. sometimes i must do it a couple times. a daughter thing again.
    here's a real laugh for you.
    we looked at house with a cellar and such things in the country. there was room for my parents to live with us. it was a big place. my momma said she wanted to cellar to live in. i said okay. everyone would like to say there mother in law lives with them but she stays in the cellar. then she realized what she said. this is true. and we still laugh about it.