I am not going to fire my Doc, but I am having problems with him

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by futurehope, Apr 1, 2006.

  1. futurehope

    futurehope New Member

    Hi everyone,

    I think my regular MD is getting tired of me.

    I went to see him about a week and a half ago.

    He slightly raised his tone of voice with me and spoke faster than he usually does. Kinda like he was angry and trying to get his point across.

    I was relaying a point to him that my Dentist had requested him to refer me to an ENT. His response was a resounding NO.

    He has done this a few times in the past also.

    The one I remember the most was in 2002,

    I went to him telling him I felt something in my throat, and he told me there was nothing else he could do for me. This was when I was developing Panic Disorder. But I thought it was a very rude way of him handling things.

    Anyway, my one month followup is coming up and I was trying to think of a way to politely tell him off.

    There is no way that I would be able to fire him as he is the only one who has so much of my history. He knows me very well.

    To start over with someone new, I just feel, would be impossible.

    Someone else posted here that he needs to realize that I am his customer and I and insurance pay him.

    Since I am the customer, I should be treated as such.

    I always treat him very nicely. I know that sometimes I ask too many questions and sometimes I know too many things. That might threaten him a little, I am not sure.

    I have had true and logical medical problems come up for the past several months.

    I feel the need to get this off my chest with him.

    I know that two wrongs do not make a right, so I have no intentions of being rude about what I have to say to him. Just want to nicely tell him how I feel.

    Any ideas?

    Love and prayers,
    Brenda
  2. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Dear Brenda,
    You are not only his customer, you are his boss.
    You mght explain how you feel. I think he is probably feeling frustrated. It could be that he is going through something personal, too. One never knows.

    Good luck .
    Terry
  3. Chickybabe

    Chickybabe New Member

    I know exactly how you feel! I have been strugling with my doctor for the past few weeks. She was quite good at the beginning of my CFS diagnosis but a year later and no improvement seems to have made her give up on me. I went in to see her after being in hospital for test after a colapse in Jan and was told "you do realise there is no cure for CFS". I think that adl123 has the best advise I think I might take it myself.
    [This Message was Edited on 04/01/2006]
  4. KelB

    KelB New Member

    Could you get your dentist to write your doc a letter direct, explaining in medical terms why he thinks you need to see the ENT? Then maybe your doc could explain to you why he disagrees and you could get a polite dialogue underway. A straight NO without any further discussion is harsh. You should at least understand why he doesn't think you need an ENT, if only for your peace of mind.

    My GP gets a bit sniffy when I carry messages from other doctors, but he's very attentive when he sees the same info in writing with their signature at the bottom.
  5. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    You might say something like....I realize that there is not a lot that is known with CFIDS or FIBRO and that I am a difficult patient because of this. But all you can do is highly appreciated and I do rely on you for relieve and to check on my progress or new problems.

    I am wording it badly.....but along that line. I think some Drs. feel as if they are playing a game of make believe with us and feel frustated. They want to get on to the next patient that has a "normal" illness, that they can help.

    Some really wants to help but are at a loss some of the times.

    I wish they would ALL read and study it and they would be able to be of more help to us.
  6. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    This is the pits for sure. I just posted but lost it by pressing the wrong button.

    I ended up writing a really polite but honest letter to my rheumy, and also requested he sent all my records to me. He sent them immediately but no letter of acknowledgement or apology back. I hope the reception actually showed him the letter, they may not have done so. What was missing was a record of our last visit when he was very off, and I feel sure they wrote something derogatory on their paperwork. It took me several attempts to get a letter out that was not angry.

    He had treated me shabbily for sure.

    I just switched doctors to one I saw years ago, an internist too. I did this as I thought my own doctor practice was relying on the PA to be the main provider and she was overly familiar ina sarcastic, take liberties way.

    As they get $130 every time I step a foot in the door they should be happy for the wages, but they act as if you are wasting their time.

    I am glad I took the step to switch as I felt very at ease wiht the new provider. I had used him about five years ago briefly then moved, and went back to a family friend doctor, not him. That was a mistake.

    I hope you can resolve this. I think seeing an ENT should be feasable. Does your insurance require a referral? I got my gyne to refer me.

    Love Anne C
  7. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Brenda:
    So sorry you are having that trouble. Lord knows I had the same problems as you a few years back. I woulod just tell it the way it is and if the doctor can not work with you, well: onto the next one. That is what I would do.

    n.f.
  8. ckzim

    ckzim New Member

    I can relate to you on every level...

    I've been dismissed from 2 doctors now...it usually comes about the 2nd year with them.
    One didn't even tell me...he just sent me a letter stating he was no longer my physican!

    I was sooo angery....(chichen liver) couldn't tell me to my face.
    The second one...which just happen recently...sort of played it off as...well...I don't know?

    In my expereince...when the "I don't know what else to do for you? comes out of the doctors mouth...they are feeling like their hands are tied...and they really can't help you anymore.

    I think...just my opinion...that suse? I think it was ...posted to give this doctor understanding about what frustration it must be to have a Fibro patient...and how much you appreciate him...
    That's if you really don't want to go see another doctor...which I totally understand.

    I simply get so stressed out when they "give me over" to another doc who doesn't know hey diddle diddle about me, so I have to start alll overrrr again..with it all.! It's a royal pain!

    If there are plently of doctors in your area that treat FM/CFS....find another one...if not...make what you have work for you.
    Like you seem to already know...it is no fun, retelling everything from the day you had this DD...to yet another doctor.

    Hope everything goes well for you.
    KZ
  9. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Just remember ... you get more flies with honey, than with vinegar. and, you said you want to keep him as your doc!
  10. futurehope

    futurehope New Member

    Hi everyone,

    I received a lot of replies here and I wanted to thank everyone for their advice about this situation.

    I think I have it all figured out now and know how to handle it.

    Thanks again!!!

    Love and prayers,
    Brenda
  11. Kayzee

    Kayzee New Member

    If these idea's don't work for you and your Doc, I suggest you request your records and find someone who cares about their patients.