I felt a strong urge to come here and I clicked the bookmark and everything looked different and i didnt know if I was in the right place. my password is my doctors name so that would be hard to forget. I googled fibrofoggiest and found messages from y'all and clicked on it and it took me here, where i typed in my info and yep it was the same message board. I have forgotten names and even forgotten names from 10 minutes ago when I was reading about watching a small caribou herd and it sounded beautiful. It's scary how time gets away from me. I cant believe so much time has passed. I spend a lot of time in bed and time sort of ...doesnt matter? I am ashamed of my apathy. I have a bad case of anhedonia (cant feel joy anymore) Im such a downer. I feel like I will bring a dark cloud of gloom here and bum everyone out. I feel selfish eating up your caring and concern and not being there for anyone else. I want everyone to know that I dont feel as hopeless anymore. I am trying to make myself more available to my husband and kiddos. It hard to do. But I know How important it is to me. I go on for them. i love you all and your posts are like little security blankets that i want to make a quilt from.