i am ok everyone. well... for me

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by FibroFoggiest, Aug 11, 2009.

  1. FibroFoggiest

    FibroFoggiest New Member

    I felt a strong urge to come here and I clicked the bookmark and everything looked different and i didnt know if I was in the right place. my password is my doctors name so that would be hard to forget. I googled fibrofoggiest and found messages from y'all and clicked on it and it took me here, where i typed in my info and yep it was the same message board. I have forgotten names and even forgotten names from 10 minutes ago when I was reading about watching a small caribou herd and it sounded beautiful. It's scary how time gets away from me. I cant believe so much time has passed. I spend a lot of time in bed and time sort of ...doesnt matter? I am ashamed of my apathy. I have a bad case of anhedonia (cant feel joy anymore) Im such a downer. I feel like I will bring a dark cloud of gloom here and bum everyone out. I feel selfish eating up your caring and concern and not being there for anyone else. I want everyone to know that I dont feel as hopeless anymore. I am trying to make myself more available to my husband and kiddos. It hard to do. But I know How important it is to me. I go on for them.
    i love you all and your posts are like little security blankets that i want to make a quilt from.
  2. gb66

    gb66 Well-Known Member

    Welcome back. I do remember you. I mostly read the threads and post every now and then. I love what you said about the posts being "like little security blankets that you want to make a quilt from". That is lovely. I hope you're feeling more optimistic these days. It's really hard to keep our own spirits up with these awful diseases. I have CFS/FM and have been ill for many years. Sometimes I'm upbeat but lot's of times I have to just ride the waves until the depressed feeling leaves. It is a constant battle. It just goes with being chronically ill and having so much pain to deal with and also with all that we've lost.

    Don't be too hard on yourself. I know your family appreciates all that you do for them and all your efforts. GB66

  3. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    Hi welcome back

    I to have the apathy problem. For alot of years I would tell docs I was flatlineing. Now I know theres a name for no joy wow.I can so relate to your post.

    This all started with the fibro-cfs. It comes and goes mostly stays.

    You are not selfish,most of us at times are readers and not posters. We all need someone that understands. Keep coming back.
  4. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    Welcome back! Please don't ever feel that you are a burden here. This is the place to vent. We're all here for you. I come here precisely because I know people here understand what I'm dealing with. You are always welcome and feel free to share whatever you want.

    Your statement about making a quilt with our Posts is so sweet. :) You're very creative, I can see that.

    I've become much more bedridden over the years and it's striking to me too how time just doesn't really matter to me now in many ways. It's like I'm stuck in an eternity of sameness but also time keeps flying by in the real world and I can't keep up. I also feel just like Rip Van Winkle whenever I do manage to emerge from my home. Everything keeps changing so much out there.

    I'm glad you're here. :)

    tee