I am schoked at what my husband asked me today

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Sep 30, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    HE has been gone for the week hunting. And he called today and out of the BLUE he asked me if I had ever had a sleep study done? I said no because they cost alot of monoey and we don't have it right now.

    HE went on to tell me that he feels that the reason I don't get to sleep is because I have sleep apnea as I snore alot. But so does he. HE wakes me up every night with his snoring and I will wake him up to get him to move over. But when I snore it is only when i have a cold that it is loud and he will wake me up and tell me that I am snoring loudly.

    I already know that I have asthma and COPD .But not is not the time to have this procedeure as we are so indebt right now. And the hubby does not pay medical bills very well. And i have enough pain in my life right now. I have been getting headaches too but there is alot of stress that I have been under for the past few months.

    I don't know why he asked this question but it is something to think about.

    I am so sleepy now that I am going to go to bed now.
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Maybe one of his hunting buddies said it had helped someone he knew.

    I had one done at Kaiser several years ago. Never got any feedback on it tho.
  3. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    since you haven't been well. But you are right- he may have sleep apnea too. Maybe you could have one when your finances get better..... Terri
  4. Slayadragon

    Slayadragon New Member

    That's not an unreasonable question at all, but I've never heard of that being the problem for people with CFS/Fibro. We have a lot of other things interfering with sleep (a hallmark of the disease), and sleep apnea is pretty rare. Ask him to watch you sometime when you're snoring. Is it a regular in-out snoring? That would seem to make it less likely to be sleep apnea. If you stop breathing for a second or two (non-rhymically), then sort of gasp for breath, this does suggest sleep apnea. Not a substitute for a test. But if the latter, it may suggest that sleep apnea is present.

    I wonder how treatable sleep apnea is, anyway. People get hooked up to all kinds of contraptions, but I'm not sure how well they work.
  5. Hootie1

    Hootie1 New Member

    Actually, sleep apnea is very common in FM and CFS patients. I had no idea that I had obstructive sleep apnea until I got a sleep study. I actually had moderate to high obstructive sleep apnea and it was definately affecting my symptoms. The body needs sleep (stage 4) to repair and many of us are not getting that.

    I would DEFINATELY get a sleep study-when you can afford it. It sounds as though your husband was truly trying to help you. Sometimes the spouses get desperate for a fix - just like we do. I would thank him. My husband and I have been married for 20 years and because of the importance of my sleep, he has a seperate bedroom for the past 4 years. Even when he rolls over, it disturbs my sleep.

    Something to think about. I used a CPAP for 2 1/2 years at 12cc level which is high especially since I am not overweight. I am small and the respiratory therapist said that a lot of people with FM and/or CFS are coming in to get a CPAP (I eventually had surgery and do not use the CPAP anymore). It has always been common for only those people who are very overweight and not the thin ones. My doctor at one point thought that if I lost weight it would help so years ago I lost 40 pounds (and kept it off) and my sleep apnea did not get better - actually got worse.

    I had to trim the base of tongue - it was explained to me in a simple way that as we get older- gravity takes place (which we all know about that) and the base of tongue actually was affected by gravity and was blocking my airway more. I also had to have my tonsils removed and the fatty tissue at the throat and the uvula was removed- everything was done to open the airway.

    There are thoughts that sleep apnea actually could have exacerbated the symptoms by not allowing the body to properly repair.

    Just a thought.

    p.s. after re-reading these posts I realized that I flat out contradicted someone who said that sleep apnea is not common in CFS and FM patients. I'm sorry to sound contradictory, but I was amazed also to find out from the respiratory therapist that many CFS and FMS patients lately are are coming in slowly but surely to be studied for sleep disturbances.
    [This Message was Edited on 10/01/2006]
    [This Message was Edited on 10/02/2006]
  6. spacee

    spacee Member

    I was tired all the time because of my HUBBY'S sleeping patterns. I can sleep on twin beds or, better yet, another room. I feel soooo much better. So HE may be the one who needs testing.

    Just a thought....

  7. diva42597

    diva42597 New Member

    I agree with spacee. I have experienced a huge improvement in my sleep after my fiance and I started sleeping in seperate beds. It has made me sleep better and has made our relationship better because I'm not always snapping at him.

    As far as why he asked the question...men are solvers. Mine does it to me constantly. Unfortunately, this disease cannot be solved. It can only be managed. Men have difficulty accepting that. They feel there has to be a solution. I'm not saying that you might not have sleep apnea, but it is a good thing for your hubby to be concerned about your health. His heart is in the right place. But I do understand your frustration with the timing of the suggestion. We have learned to accept our illnesses as what it is. He might not have. Hope this helps

  8. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    common in FM/CFS patients. And it can be life threatening besides keeping people from getting good rest. Do you have no insurance? Most policies do pay most or all of the cost of a sleep study. If not I'd be putting every extra dime in a jar and saving toward the test. It's really a serious problem if you have it.

    There are many articles online about the problem and suggestions on what you can do for yourself before you get tested and treatment if you have it. Do a search and see. Bambi
  9. victoria

    victoria New Member

    I knew my DH had problems sleeping but he doesn't snore. If I so much as turn over before 5 AM, he generally will start talking to me in a normal tone of voice as if he hasn't slept at all...

    but about 5 AM or so I can actually get up and walk around the room without disturbing him... yet while it can take me a long time to fall asleep, he will fall asleep within about 2 minutes almost every time.

    He finally had a sleep study, which confirmed what I already knew... very light sleep and 79 awakenings between 1 AM and 5 AM, the last hour of the study (between 5-6AM) was the only time he fell into deep sleep.

    They didn't really know what to do with him... tried C-Pap but he stuffed up within 2 minutes or less after putting it on... sent him home. He was sent to their doctor, a pulmonologist, for follow-up, who had nothing to offer. . .

    Well, he doesn't have CFIDS... and still doesn't snore... but I know it affects him in other ways.


    [This Message was Edited on 10/01/2006]
  10. baanders

    baanders New Member

    I guess it was the way he asked you. I know that he does care about you. Ultimately, maybe he doesn't truely understand how much pain is in your life. Have you told him? How can you get out of debt? A loan? I hope the stress, headaches and pain and fatigue let up.

  11. mrdad

    mrdad New Member

    Could be that his hunting buddies haven't been getting

    any sleep with snoring and suggested that to him?? Have

    you been getting better sleep since he has been gone?

    MRDAD P.S. But he just could be concerned
    and sincerely wants to fine you some-
    thing that helps. (???)

  12. janieb

    janieb New Member

    Just my two cents worth. My husband pointed out that he was awake at night waiting to see if I was going to breathe, or if he had to wake me up. Never knew I was doing this, but did know I was a loud snorer and always tired.

    Had the sleep apnea test done, per my fibro doctor, and they confirmed that I stopped breathing at least once a minute for up for 38 seconds at a time.

    Tried Cpap machine, but kept taking it off in my sleep, so had the surgery. It was the very best thing I could have done. They told me that if I didn't have it, I would just not wake up some day.

    Any questions?

  13. shar6710

    shar6710 New Member

    I too have CFS and sleep apnea. I snored on occasion but not excessively. My sleep Dr didn't really think I had it but tested me because I was referred by a cardiologist. Turns out I did.

    I use a CPAP and though not crazy about it I do better with it than without. After I started with it I began to have dreams again-I hadn't realized that I hadn't had a dream for months.

    Also, oddly enough, my husband snores less now. Not really, but since I'm sleeping deeper it doesn't bother me.

    If you can manage it I'd have the study.

    Good Luck,

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