I am sitting in the dark crying bacause of the pain in my back

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Nov 5, 2005.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    My daughter and her hubby & my grandsone are staying here while he goes to drill for three days.The baby and my daughter have really bad colds adn the baby is wheezing baldy but the doctor says it is not a big deal. to night my daughter has been really sick to her stomacne and so I was taking care of my 7 month old grandson who weighs aboaut 19-20 lbs. And I was lifting himand playing with him and really made my back ache.

    I know that I sould not lift him as he is so heavy but what can I do when my daughteris so sick and wants to throw up and hre hubby is in bed because he has drill at 7 am and NEEDS HIS SLEEP.

    I do understand that but it would be a help if he would have given the baby a bottle as my daugther is still nursing and the baby won't take a bottle from her or me becuase he knows that we have the same feeling and boobs.

    HE will turn his head and try to get my nightie out of the way so he can suckle and I tell him Grandmas equpitment does not work.So about an hour ago my daughter finally got h im to settle and to nurse, but because he has a bad cold it is hard for him to nurse so he wakes up and crys and coughs and wheese badly.

    I hae been paying with him adn tried to give hima bottle and that didn't work but the liftinghim hurt me. I am so sad that to lift my grandson causs me so much pain adn I really want to cry abouat it. I cna't holdhim tight and just hug him , like I want to do. HE has had the cld for a long time and is cutting teeth on thebottom and top/ so I know that he doesnot feel good at all.

    My daughter is starting that monthly thing and it makes her sick to her stomache so she has ben laying on teh love seat and trying not to move. She has finally got him to sleep adn she is sleeping and I dont' dare wake them up so that they can go to bed because he may wake up and have a hard time sleeping. So I am going to put a blanket on them adn go to bed.

    I am just sad because this is my first grandchild adn because of the back problems I have I shouldnot lift becuase it causes me intence pain and I really just want to pick hom up and cuddle withhim and love him andhold him.
    and when I do It causes me great pain in mylow back and now i can't sleep. So I am whinning to you. But I am so cold that I am going to go to bed now and try to sleep.

    sorry baout the whinng and being a baby about this.

    I love to have the kids and BAby come to stay and I have all day to morrow to play with him andhopefully he will feel better adn so will my daughter . If you will please keep us in your prayers so that we may feel better soon. Thanks so much and I love you all.
    LOve you,
  2. Sue50

    Sue50 New Member

    Rosemarie that you are having such a bad time, I love babies and it must be just awful not to be able to take care of your granchild and your sick daughter.
    Big hugs to you and I'm praying for all of you.
  3. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    So sorry, you are in pain. I know my babies became too heavy for my arms and shoulders sometimes, specially when sick and needed more holding, and rocking.
    Try, and think of another way to do things. I know when my kids got old enough to stand, i would sit, and have them crawl into my lap. Your grandson may be to young for this. Picking a child up out of a crib is the hardest!! Try and not do this. Take him to bed with you, or make a big blanket padding on floor and get down their with him.
    I know when i was nursing, i would lay down in bed, when i wanted to get up, i would roll baby onto my chest first, and holding him close get up, then the weight was kinda like my own.
    We need to think of new ways to do things.
    Good luck, and i hope you feel better soon, i love ben gay and i found Vicks works good on painfull muscles too.
  4. puppyfreak

    puppyfreak New Member

    I know just how you feel! My daughter is engaged and his 3 1/2 year old daughter lives with them most of the time. I get to babysit once or twice a month and although I don't have to carry her around like a baby, I bathe her and pick her up to sit at the table in her booster seat.
    My daughter hasn't really accepted that I'm disabled [in spite of getting SSDI finally this summer!] so that makes it harder.
    I take a little Lorazepam and an extra 1/2
    Vicodin and then the next day I lay on the heating pad all day! I love being 'Grandma' [I don't have any other grandkids and I've known her for 2 years now] and I absolutely HATE it that I'm physically limited so I can't play with her like I'd like to.
    I try to be grateful for what I CAN do but when the back pain gets bad, I forget all about that!

  5. starmom

    starmom New Member

    I am new here, this is my first post, but I just wanted to reach out with a gentle hug to you.

    I do not know how hard it is as a Gma, but as a mom with fibro I can sympathize. I am up at 3:30 unable to sleep b/c the pain in my back and legs.

    Whatever coping methods you can find to help make childcare easier are necessary. If this is to be a long term thing it might be wise of your dau to pump breastmilk to give the baby in a bottle. I had to get mine used to a bottle b/c sometimes the fibro was so bad I could not hold the baby to nurse, or stay in the position laying down to nurse.

    I ended up with kids who took either breast or bottle, but only after hard work. You are a great mom and Gma, to help like this. But if you don't let your family know what you need, they can't help.

    I had really bad periods, and my doc was able to do a LOT to help me. Even while I nursed my kids. Your dau might try asking her doc for some help if this happens often.


  6. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    Same advise to you, quit picking up a 3 1/2 year old!! OUCH! Teach them to do the work they are capable with a little assistance and patients. Patients is the hard part for me cause it take longer to allow a young child to do something on there own. If your high chair has a removable tray take it off. Allow the child to climb into the chair himself, use a stepping stool for them or lower chair, then just put the tray back on. Same with holding the child. You sit down first then have the child climb into your lap, a three year old is more than capable!!
    Sorry, if i sound bossy, just hate to see you and others in needles pain, when a little rethinking can solve your problem, hopefully.
    Mother who is raising three VERY active boys, who has CFIDS, since 23 years old. Oldest now 12. Encourage them to learn to help early, and be independant, yet alway reassuring them that i love them. My 6 year old help empty the dish washer, and enjoys helping. No, my children aren't perfect tho, sometimes takes more energy than i have to get them to do anything. They have also "taken care" of mom when she is bed, so sweet, and sad. They will fix me tea, and oatmeal.
  7. kgangel

    kgangel New Member

    So sorry about your back pain and all you are going through. No , you are not whinning, you are in pain!! Please don't ever feel bad about sharing with us, we truly do understand and hope you are better soon!!

  8. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    just wanted you to get all your replys!!
    Hope your feeling better today.
  9. jake123

    jake123 New Member

    Don't I know how you feel. My hands are terrible as well as my back. My stepdaughter is having a baby next March. I can't wait because I can hold them while they are tiny and love on them. When they get bigger, it is hard to pick them up and hard to get on the floor to change them. I know how you feel. This definitely counts as a "pain."
  10. granny1353

    granny1353 New Member

    I also have the same problems, have had for 31 years. When my kids were small and able to help they learned mommy needs them to help same as they need me.

    Now I have two grandbabies and I know that it does hurt to pick them up and carry them, and when your own daughter is sick babies just don't understand. Just pray that God will give yu the strength to do what you have to. He is so good and has gotten me through some days that I thought I never could.

    I will keep you and your daughter and grandbaby in my prayers. TRY to take it EASY!

  11. ellie5320

    ellie5320 New Member

    I am thinking of you as it is so unfair I do understand completely
  12. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Rosemarie, I am so sorry that you are in so much pain, dear. I have a lot of back trouble, too, and know how it feels.

    I also went through the problems on holding both of my grandsons when they were babies. I just had to hold them, but it left me hurting so for days, in my arms, shoulders, and back.

    I hope you get to feeling better soon,

    Much love,