I am so frustrated about life that I am at my wit's end!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by tanyasue, Dec 25, 2005.

  1. tanyasue

    tanyasue New Member

    I want to cry, actually I am crying. I was stupid enough to take a class. I took it because I can't afford to make the payments on my student loans and that was the best way to defer them.

    Anyway, I got super, super sick in the middle of the class. I was throwing up so hard that I blew out the blood vessels in and around my eyes. I had two blask eyes from it.

    My teacher failed me today! I missed getting a c by 2 1/2 points and mainly because my papers were not turned in (due to throwing up and many other things). She sent me an e-mail that said Happy Holidays, and then explained to me that I failed her class. I got that today. On Christmas.

    I am so sick of these illnesses taking away all that matter to me.

    I am so sick of people not understanding what I am going through and having no compassion.

    I am so sick of my doctors never being able to tell me what exactly is wrong. Of them knowing I have something else going on, but not knowing what.

    I want to scream!!! Instead I took my anxiety medicine and took a pain killer, so at least I can be in less pain and be able to get the raging anxiety under control.

    Tanya Sue
  2. Musica

    Musica New Member

    What is she sending a message like that to you on Christmas?? It must have been such a blow. Yet another consequence of being ill. I hear your frustration. Throwing up that hard and that much sounds very dangerous, if it is hard enough to blow blood vessels. I hope they find out what is wrong and get it treated quickly so you can pick up some pieces of your life.
  3. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. What horrible timing. It amazes me because if you were on crutches or had a pain they could "see" it might be different.

    Believe it or not, I know exactly what those blown out blood vessles are like from puking (I get them from crying sometimes too). It's horrible.

    I agree with figh4acure. Get some rest, gather your thoughts (write them down if you have to) and try to talk with the dean or chair of the department.

    I hope you feel better. I really do.
  4. abbylee

    abbylee New Member

    I think you just spoke for almost every person in this group. I know you spoke for me because I'm tired of it, too. I hate hurting all of the time and I hate how my pain can come and go at will.

    Just this morning I was feeling pretty good and by 5:00 this afternoon I was in the pain pill bottle - again.

    My doc told me that vegeterians live longer and I asked him why I would want to live longer. This constant pain is bad enough, but the stiffness I have is driving me crazy.

    Even if I do stretches, if I am still for more than 2 minutes my muscles freeze again.

    I'm at a loss for new ideas.

  5. tanyasue

    tanyasue New Member

    the question about why you want to live longer made me laugh-that was a good point.

    I was devastated that teacher treated me like that.

    I didn't know that the school had to accomodate as well. I am going to have to bring that up to them, thanks for that tip.

    I already sent the teacher an e-mail (online class) asking her to revisit her grade and to take a look at the papers again with compassion for how sick I was.

    Thanks Tigger, throwing up that hard blows. I put on my new duragesic patch, and forget to the old one off. I switch mine early because the last day is not effective. I ended up od'ing and that was what caused me to get so sick. I am on methotrexate, which is used in chemo. Basically, I am on low dose chemo. It explained why my hair has been falling out, and all of the other fun things.

    My doctor cannot decide what I have going on. She still sticks with fibro. Although Fibro is a real illness, I feel at this point like she is diagnosing me with it because it is easy-not because it is correct. My blood tests show up with many things positive for Lupus and RA.

    Thanks for understanding, and being supportive. I was sitting here crying and it made me feel better to know that others don't think I am just some loser feeling sorry for myself.

    Tanya Sue
  6. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I'm on the patch too. I get to the third day and notice it. I didn't realize you could OD if you put a new patch on while the old one was still on. Seems funny if the old one doesn't seem to be working.

    Yeah, puking like that does blow. That is putting it mildly.

  7. tanyasue

    tanyasue New Member


    I am with you. I thought the old patch wasn't working, but man when I got sick I knew there was too much. My doctor was very concerned when I had her paged. I guess that is an indication of how bad it can be.

    If I never throw up again, I will be fine with it.

    Tanya Sue
  8. pawprints

    pawprints New Member

    I give you credit for trying to take a class. Your words are so true that I felt your screaming. I agree with getting a doctor's note and trying to work with that teacher. You never know when someone will try to understand once it is explained to them.

    Hang in there!

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