I Am So Sad!! Don't know what to do!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by HppeandMe, Nov 11, 2005.

  1. HppeandMe

    HppeandMe New Member

    I don't know what to do! This thing is taking all of my energy away. I am the bread winner in my house and I try to put a front on at work as if I am ok. If I don't in the work I am in I will lose clients. I have a husband who I love dearly who I feel doesn't deserve to have to live a life with me. Why was my life cut short at 29? Why do my kids have such a crappy mother now? I took my 8 year old to the store today to get him a game for his good report card and I didn't even have the energy to help him put it together. I would have never had a husband or kids if I knew my life would be like this. Why isn't soemone trying to help us more. I keep trying to press on but I don't know how much longer I can. Then when I can't go on any longer I guess I will ask my husband to raise my children without me. I just can't take this anymore!!!! I wish I at least knew there was some kind of real treatment but there is nothing solid for us. Perhaps we should all go to congress and demand money for research.
    What can we do?? I am so scared to lose everything I have!!
  2. beth0818

    beth0818 New Member

    it seems you are loved by your family so don't push them away. i feel very desperate at times and wonder if i should ever have kids.....but i am pretty sure i will and tell them "mommy gets tired easy." i will be praying for you
  3. HppeandMe

    HppeandMe New Member

    Thanks guys! I wish I could hold back my tears!
  4. HelenFC

    HelenFC New Member

    Hi
    I know it doesn't help but I know the anger, frustration and fear you are feeling right now as I am in the same place. I'm 33 and I have 2 babies. If I had known I would get this awful debilitating disease then I don't think I would have had them as I don't feel as though they have the mother they deserve. I too feel as is my life has been stolen from me and I cry alot. I don't really have any advice but what I will say is that there are others, like everyone who posts here and goes into the chat room, who truly understand and can at least sympathise. The one comfort I have is that I am not alone and neither are you. I have had so much support from other sufferers and it really does help on a bad day. Take care and remember, we are here for each other. Helen xxxx P S I'm sending you the big hug you need x
  5. dononagin

    dononagin New Member

    gosh.. I can so relate.. I didn't get this till I was 35.. My stepdaughters were already grown.. my oldest a teen.. it's my youngest I feel has suffered.. She is now 15 and for the last 10 years has dealt with a tired hurting mom.. but ya know, it's all she knows. She really doesn't remember the Mom I used to be. She doesn't know what I was like when her sisters were little. I know and I feel like she got the short end of the stick. This child has spent a lot more time cuddling on the couch with Mom.. The other kids has a "super" mom that was always on the go..
    Hmmmm.. maybe she wasn't that short changed after all.. She has a mom who though is tired is there to listen when she has a problem because I'm not busy doing crafts, cleaning the cubbards or vollenteering for some school benefit.
    I work.. I work full time.. I am a professional.. My job demands a lot from me. Sometimes all I can give. I keep going.. It is probably what keeps me going.
    My guy met me the year I got sick.. He barely got to know the "real" me before I got sick.. He accepts me for who I am and accepts my limitations.. again.. maybe because it's all he knows.. he doesn't know the real me.. I feel like they get jipped.. by the time I get home from work there is frequently not much left to give. My brain is fried and I can't do simple things like balance the check book.. Dinner is whatever I can get out in a hurry on paper plates..
    I know how you feel.. It is so frustrating.. I miss me. You can't give up though.. you just keep putting one foot in front of the other and when you hit a wall you make a turn.. Rest when you can.. restablish priorities.. my house isn't as clean as it used to be.. my car is not as clean.. I don't bake anymore, I don't sew anymore.. I try to do what I can when my energy is up and not beat myself up when I can't do things..
    I wish I had some answers for you but all we can do is hang tough and not give up on ourselves..
    AND YES!! we fight for a cure.. with letters and education and whatever we can do..
    ((((((Gentle hugs)))))))
    Dona
  6. JLH

    JLH New Member

    If there is one thing for sure, it is that we all know where you're coming from.

    It also sounds like you are really depressed. Are you currently taking an anti-depressant? If not, you should talk with your doctor about one.

    Cymbalta is a great new one and it also helps with the fibro pain.

    Another med that has been great for me is Neurotin. It has really helped my pain.

    Are you getting a good night's sleep? That is really important to feeling better during the day, too.

    Hugs,
    Janet
  7. kgangel

    kgangel New Member

    Hey hppeandme,

    You are very special and you are very needed by your family. Don 't feel bad or that they don't deserve this. You don't deserve to feel so bad, but they still have a great mom and wife. I am sure they are sorry you don't feel well and that you are in so much pain. but, you can not help it.

    I just wondered, have you tried the Traumeel that Chocolat wrote a post about? I hear it is really helping a lot of people on this board. Maybe it is something you could ask your doctor about if you feel like you may want to try it.

    Some are saying they can't believe how much better they feel, whatever you do though, please don't give up, I guarentee you are genuinely loved by your family and your extended family on here.

    God Bless
    kgangel
  8. chopindog

    chopindog New Member

    before i begin I want to say that I am not in any way trying to one up you in who has it the worst. We both have it bad, but in different ways. Just want to give you a different perspective. I am 28 years old and have been very ill for over a year. I can't work, I have put on weight do to lack of exercise and Elavil, (sweet cravings). I was always very focused on college and was a RN before I got ill. I thought I had plenty more time to find a husband and have a child. I wanted to figure out who I was first, and was afraid of maraige do to multiple divorces in my family. Anyway, now here I am with no child and no husband, and scared to death that I will never have either. I am blessed and have a wonderfull, supportive dad, but I feel like such a looser, spinster living with my dad.Anyway, I am sure you are a good mother! A bad mother wouldn't be on here feeling bad because of ther physical limitations, they wouldn't care. There are many mothers out there, some are just young and learning and make mistakes everyday. Some are sick and can't be as active as they would like, some work too much and can't spend the time with their children that they wish they could. But as long as a mother truly loves their child, and shows them and tells them this, (even if it is while they are lying in their bed.) They are a good mother! You can teach them love,life,lessons and how to be good loving people whether your sick or not! There are no perfect mothers out there, But I have no doubt in mind that you are a good and loving mother, and thats what really counts! Love, Joy

    [This Message was Edited on 11/11/2005]
  9. HppeandMe

    HppeandMe New Member

    Thanks for all of your support!!!! I know we are all going through this together. I am just angry that the doctors and the government are not fighting for research for us. I am going to do what I can to change that. In fact, I live very close to NIH (National Institute of Health) and I think I will start there!!! Thanks for listening everybody and thankks for your prayers. By the way some of you have suggested some meds such as Traumeel and Cymbalta I am on both with no change. I am also on several other medications. If I could sleep through the night solidly I would feel great the next day. I know this because it happened to me 3 weeks over the summer w/ Restoril then it just wore off. Now I take everything under the sea to sleep in large quantities and I still feel exhausted in the morning. My theory on this is that I am still not getting solid sleep. I have even tried Xyrem which knocks you out pretty good but I still wake up several times a night on that and have horrible side effects. Anyway, thanks for the courage to fight! I will let you know what I am doing. Please keep me posted if you find anything that works and I will do the same!
  10. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    swears by her Ambien. I couldn't stand it. I do so well with the Trazedone (150 mgs. about an hour before bedtime, starts out at 50mg and the top if you need to go there is up around 600mg. That would make me groggy I think where mine doesn't). Don't give up on finding a good sleep aid, it makes a big difference in how we feel, not a cure all for sure, but it helps.

    My husband's mother had kidney disease for years and was bed bound the last year of her life. She died when he was just 13. He would be the first in line to tell you a live mother is 100% better than NO mother and even if she isn't well!! I'm 57 and my mom died in '97 at age 74 from cancer. I wouldn't have wanted her to
    stay and suffer, but if they could have "fixed" her I would give anything to have her here now. I miss my mom SO much and I'm no child. My mom wasn't even the most loving, supportive, there for me person in the world either. But I loved her and I depended on her just being here. I'll never ever get over losing her!!

    Never forget how lucky your kids are to have you HERE, no matter what your
    health is!!
  11. volvo

    volvo New Member

    i ALWAYS FEEL IT IS DO SAD THE YOUNGER YOU ARE..

    hONESTLY YOU DONT HAVE TO GIVE UP ON LIFE BELIEVE ME I HAVE BEEN THERE AND COME THROUGH, YOU WILL FIND THE INNER STRENGTH IF NOT FOR YOURSELF FOR YOUR FAMILY.

    i AM SURE EVRYONE ON THIS SITE WILL PRAY FOR YOU.

    hAVE FAITH

    REGARDS VOLVO