I have been wanting to write this for a while, finally I feel up to it I think. I am so very sorry that you are so sick. I am so sorry that every day is a struggle for you. I am sorry that other people do not understand. I am so sorry that you feel out of sync with the rest of the world. I understand that there are many things you would do if you were able to, there are many thoughts you would think if you could. I know that you long for clear headedness to think things through and live a good satisfying life. I wish I could give you loving and caring friends, spouses, children and co-workers. I wish you had enough money to be comfortable, not to worry any more about those bills that are hard to pay. I wish you could buy that new dress, new car, new house, new furniture. I wish you could paint the whole house and decorate it to make it what you want it to be. I wish you could travel, see new sights, and experience many new things. I truly wish from the bottom of my heart that you felt normal again and could go out and tangle with the world and make in your own. I wish I could give you happy, joyous, loving holidays, social gatherings, and just plain fun and laughter. I feel for everything you go through each day - I know about the thoughts that go through your head all day long. About how rough you feel. About being scared you will feel this sick forever. That the pain won't let up even for a few minutes. I understand the heartbreak of letting one more thing you enjoyed pass from your life because you are no longer up to it. I am sorry that every little thing that you do is a struggle. I am sorry for the feelings you have of wanting to hide, that you feel you are no longer good enough. I know about that script in your head about being lazy, not trying hard enough, and not having the energy to even try at all. I understand the guilt of not having a life to live any more. I understand. I am so sorry that this is what your life has become. It isn't fair! It isn't what you bargained for so long ago when you could do whatever you wanted with such ease and happiness. If nobody else has said this to you today, I am saying this now. I feel so bad for you and would change it if I could. I do not expect you to change for me, I only want you to just "be". Know that someone accepts you just the way you are, sick, tired and hoping for a miracle. Just for this moment, today, someone loves you for you. And understands your life and what it takes to live it. I find you courageous, smart, funny, loving and so very strong for still being here. I am proud of you for surviving. You are special no matter what, you count for just being you. Nobody else will ever be just like you, you are an original. You deserve to be here. You deserve respect, kindness, understanding and love. Yes love. Lots and lots of love. You deserve affection and fun times, laughter and companionship. You deserve your part in this world with all its shortcomings and wonders. I wish for small and large miracles to come your way, that happiness and joy will creep into your heart when you least expect it. I wish you the wisdom to deal with burdens and the love to hug a child. I am sorry you are so sick. I feel bad for you when things seem so hopeless. I want you to just hang on, live from moment to moment, and beleive that you are "good enough" just the way you are. I think so. I know you always do the best you can and I am proud of you for trying. Take care and be gentle with yourself. You deserve it.