I am so upset

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by robbie0813, Jul 7, 2008.

  1. robbie0813

    robbie0813 New Member

    I have worked at my job for 4 1/2 years. I was diagnosed with Fibro last June. I have always been complimented on what a great job I do. I had my evaluation today. First one since 2006- and was I floored!

    I had needs improvement in organization and ok I can deal with that and needs improvement productive she thinks I can be!!! The description of this is Amount of work done. Ability to produce results without much help. Effective use of time. Willing to put in extra hours to get the job done. Then she puts at the bottom for areas for improvement, Professionalism, Understanding and setting priorities, meeting deadlines, being productive, and organizing workspace.

    If I am nothing else I am professional! When I asked what she meant by that she said that it wasn't professional to have a microwave beanbag thing around my neck. Well I happen to agree with her to a point BUT it was the end of the fiscal year and I told her that I would have taken sick leave if it wasn't for the fact that the business office needed me to get my part of end of year done so that they could do theirs! My neck was having terrible spasms and it was so cold you could hang meat in my office!! I had my report ready to go though by June 30 and didn't hold anyone up!

    I also got upset because she said that your disease makes it hard for you and you don't always feel good... She said disease like I was a leper! She also said that I didn't look professional when I wore my tennis shoes. You know to keep from falling and when I wore jeans. The only time I have ever worn jeans is when we have dressdown friday or if I am going to be cleaning out cabinets, closets, etc.

    Meeting deadline... I can't remember not meeting a deadline. I am not saying that I am not stressed and working balls to the wall to make it but darn it..it gets done!

    I also have a problem with the fact that she put I am friendly. I probably have the best customer service of anyone in this organization. I understand that without our "customers" we don't have a job. Yes I am friendly and go out of my way to help the customers even if it has nothing to do with my job description. If they are lost I walk them to the appropriate office instead of just giving them verbal instructions. I think this mean a lot and makes my company look good.

    I just don't know what to do. I have cried all afternoon because it upset me so bad. All that did was make my back, neck, hips and knees start hurting. Has anyone had a similar thing happen? Thanks for letting me vent. My hubby is wonderful but he goes on the "Let's fix it" mode. You know, well is there a different department you can work, is there recourse that you can take, etc.

    Thanks everyone.
  2. texangal81

    texangal81 New Member

    But I have been in your shoes and you need to stay vigilent, they might be trying to make a case to get rid of you. I had the same thing happen to me and I was devastated. I had worked for a company where I had praise and respect from customers, developers, my own co-workers, and management. Another company lured me away for a lot more money and it was a disaster. This company began criticizing me from the first day and I was so confused. They began building a file against me and fired me after I had been there 13 months. I think I pissed of the VP of Support once and she decided to get rid of me. In your case, I would do is gather any positive feedback you have from customers, co-workers, former bosses, anyone you work with who has praised you.

    If she claims you have missed deadlines, ask for specific details and be ready to refute it if you can. For every "ding" she gave you on that review, I would politely request concrete examples. Explain that you've never had this problem in the past so that you would like to know specifically where they find you deficient so that it won't happen again. Keep a copy of this request and cc someone else in addition to your boss so that you can prove it was sent. A lack of response from your superiors works in your favor if it ever gets ugly. Keep IMMACULATE records about everything that goes on.

    If you need your beanback neck thingie, get a doctor's note and submit it. If you need to wear certain shoes, get another note. Document everything. You have rights under the ADA. So for anything they complain about, either change ASAP or get documentation proving it is medically necessary.

    Even if you are in a Right to Work state, they have to tread lightly when they fire someone with a disability. You need to be proactive in this situation and address everything. I am so sorry you are having to go through this, I know how upsetting it is.

  3. simonedb

    simonedb Member

    about ada
    your supervisor definitely made an error to refer to your disa bilty etc they could get in big trouble if she stays on that course. I would do my homework on ada maybe even consult atty who specialises to know your rights and best course of action.
  4. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    I am so sorry this is happening to you. I know how you feel. I taught for 11 years with CFS and I was given similar reviews and I was working hard every day including weekends and nights just to make it work. I wasn't able to be very productive in the afternoons when school was out but I made up for it in my "off" time, all holidays etc... and I got the job done. Still, it was humiliating and I wasn't out about CFS at work so I couldn't tell them it was because I was sick a lot and was dealing with excruciating pain much of the time.

    I feel for you, girlfriend. I think Erin has excellent advice. Another way you could go is to see this as a sign that it's time to leave this company and to also decide whether it's time to go on disability or not.

    This job evaluation is not a reflection of the real you or of your true character. It's a reflection of all of us who have CFS and FMS to the point that it affects us visibly in any way.

    My thought is that you have every right to put your health first and that includes your emotional health which can greatly affect those of us with CFS and FMS. By continuing to stay in this workplace you may be compromising your health more and setting yourself up for more hurts and disappointments. Not because of any failings on your part but because of a health problem that nobody can just "overcome". We would if we could.

    I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do and also I suggest you look up bully.org and read about bullies at work. This will help you make your decision as well. Another company may be fine with accommodating your needs.
    I have a bad aftertaste from the way you described her demeanor and her saying "disease" like you are a leper. That is terrible of her.

    Take your time and remember, it isn't you and it's not your fault.

    [This Message was Edited on 07/07/2008]
  5. robbie0813

    robbie0813 New Member

    Thanks everyone for the advice and the understanding. I don't know a whole lot about the ada so I guess I am going to need to do some research. I am also going to have to go back to my general practitioner and see if I can get a referral to another Rhemy. The one I have currently is a you need to exercise and she is an absolutely work! I am less than 5 months from being vested. Think that might have something to do with it???

    Also while I am chatting has anyone had not muscle spasms per say but muscle quivers? I have really had these a lot lately in my shoulder and thigh.

    Thanks Again
  6. texangal81

    texangal81 New Member

    YES, that has a lot to do with it, although proving it is virtually impossible. I would do whatever you can to make sure they don't find fault with you. I'm the same way, I'm 23 days from my first year anniversary and qualification for LTD. I would hang in there for 5 more months and then make any decisions.

    Under the ADA a company with more than 50 employees has to make reasonable accomodations to an employee with disabilities so they can continue to do their job. In my opinion, this would include beanie neck devices AND tennis shoes. I agree with the comment posted after mine, this company is walking on thin ice.

    Again, you have rights so don't let this company think they can walk all over you. One heads up, don't use your work computer for ANYTHING except work. Don't check personal email, or surf, or use an IM program unless your job requires it. Your company may or may not have a personal use clause that you signed when you did all of the general computer usage docs, but as an IT professional, they can AND WILL spy on you. Keep your nose clean. Don't use your work computer for checking posts on here or posted. Don't use your work email for personal use. Even if you got an informal ok from someone higher up, they can still use it against you.

    In your case, since you are so close to be vested, I wouldn't do anything that can cause them to call you into the office.
  7. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    I'm sorry that you had such an upsetting experience. In order to make you feel better, I'm going to try to come from a different angle.
    If you like your job (need your job), I wouldn't immediately look to run out the door. We've all had crappy managers or reviewers. Sometimes they're all business, and not very understanding to personal situations. Also working very closely with high level managers in the past, I know that many of them ALWAYS listed many areas of improvement on reviews so that people had to strive to do better (even if they were excellent). Some managers would never even give the highest mark on reviews because they always thought people could do better.

    Asking for examples of things she mentioned that you don't agree with is definitely something I'd do. As a matter of fact, I'd go in with a list of questions saying "I thought a lot about my review and have a couple of questions". I'd be very professional - as you already are. OR maybe "I'm concerned about something that was in my review...", but I

    Sometimes additional communication is needed. Not knowing your complete history, I don't know if you've already done this or not - but can you say something like "I know how important it is that I get this finished, at the end of the day, the muscles in my neck are so sore, would you mind if I used my _______ as long as no customers can see me, it would really help me a lot." Or even ask, do I need a doctor's note? Give her something to think about.

    One thing I remind myself of is that not all people ARE as professional as you or I. We have people who wear flip flops to work (I work in a very professional office), have inappropriate personal conversations in the reception area. Maybe she doesn't realize that you are not a person that really needs to be told the "don'ts" - that the reason you do what you do is because you HAVE to. I've told my boss before, I HAVE to take off my shoes for just a minute, but I won't leave my desk. I smile, he smiles.

    You do have rights- that is something to remember. She may need some education. I can absolutely see why you would be upset. I would be as well. I'm always proud of my work and I'm also sensitive. Keep doing the great job you are doing. You know how wonderful you are- how you do meet all of your deadlines, how you're friendly and professional. Any shortcomings you may have, well we all have them and for goodness sake, cut yourself some slack - you have FM! It's not an easy life that we live.

    Cry - get ticked off - then pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Remember what a great employee you are and all that you are dealing with on a daily basis.

    If after you've calmed down you feel that you need to make a change, then look into it, but I would not make a decision right now - not when you're upset.

    Good Luck!
  8. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Oops, forgot to answer your second question.
    YES I get muscle "quivers" terribly. Last year at this time, I had them so bad, I was really worried. The muscles in my upper left arm would quiver visibly. That was the worst area, but I do get them frequently in other parts of my body as well.
    My stomach muscle actually quivers as well - that's a weird sensation. I also get terrible 'jerks' in my stomach.
    Aren't these bodies of ours weird? =)
  9. robbie0813

    robbie0813 New Member

    Thanks for the support. I am feeling better this morning. I am going to go in this morning and have another sit down with my boss. I love my job and the people I work with-even my boss.

    I know she is not a real compassionate person and maybe that has a lot to do with it. It just really caught me off guard because I thought that we had a close enough working relationship that if she thought I wasn't performing the way she wanted she would have asked me in to a informal review before it was formal that is going in my employee jacket.

    That being said, I am however going to be extremely vigil in making sure that they are not able to tag me on anything!! No using the computer for anything but work and I have already started to keep daily journal of everything that I do or am asked to do.

    Thanks again and I hope everyone has a good day.
  10. wildflowers2

    wildflowers2 New Member

    Suggestions: as it happened to me( got fired - several times in fact for my hearing impairment disability-way b4 fm/cfs took hold of me)

    GO to radio Shack and invest in a mini pocket tape recorder
    for your own safty- WHY? to tape your review- and just merely state you want to remember all the good points so you will be taping the review. If, you want to keep it only for yourself you can do that too- but, it is not legal in any court of law-

    Keep a diary/log of EVERYTHING said- dates ,people, etc...

    ADA - HA! resonable accomadation is at the companies side.
    so dont get your hopes up on that one.

    ADA was good back in 1992. howover, in the mid 90's when everone was sue happy- the ADA changed their guidelines that now cater to the companies and not us.

    YOU need to talk wiht your HR person. and get everything in writing including your insurance policies from your company and all your personal files...

    DO NOT make the mistake I did and trust your boss- skunk-rats that they are.

    I got fired.....while I was out on short term disability
    the company put me on FMLA while I was on STD and then FIRED ME.

    After countless attornies there was nothing I could do.....

    THEn LTD jerks you around and do not pay claims- PERIOD-

    Ad insurance companies are not under any federal regulations and can & will change the policy at the drop of a hat.

    THey will drag you through the mud for 2 yrs and still deny you.

    Not to scare you but, it appears the company or -witch is trying to set you up......

    BE careful who you talk to or what you say too..... walls
    have ears as well as friends/rats that go back to the

    Wishing you all the best. I went through hell & back so I know .

    many blessings


  11. marti_zavala

    marti_zavala Member

    You have gotten great advice, Keep your chin up. You can do it.

    Regarding the twitching muscles - this is usually a magnesium deficiency.

    There are many ways to get magnesium if oral isn't working.

  12. Leaknits

    Leaknits New Member


    Ditto to everything everyone else said AND: please don't let anyone but yourself use your work computer.

    There are devices that are cheap to buy and will keep track of EVERY last key-stroke of your computer.
    See...someone (such as the flinger of the bad review) could jump online from your comp and see to it that it looked as if you were goofing off.

    If A D A won't help you, there's also the National Labor Relations Board.

    Long ago I worked for a particular benevolent agency which uses an Easter Lily as its' logo.
    I wanted to join clerical workers' union and was stupid enough to talk to a couple of co-workers about it.

    A few days later, a letter was circulated from the top down to the peons (like myself): "Anyone working for this company who joins any union will be summarily fired."

    Of course it wasn't legal (at least I want to think it wasn't) for the agency to do that.

    About the same time I had an awful flu. My immediate supervisor said "Go home! You are sick, you need to get well, and other people here might get sick."
    So I took off half a day then and another half day a couple weeks later.

    They fired me for absenteeism.

    Yes I could have appealed to NLRB but was simply too sick to do anything but stay in bed and be sick.

    Document, document, document everything. I'm still ticked off at your reviewer for labeling your neck helper device as "unprofessional."
    If you had a headache and took an aspirin for it, would that be "unprofessional" too?

    About your hubby and the "Let's fix this" mode he went into. Robbie, it's a Guy Thing and works sort of like this: most females, if there is a problem, will either mull it over to themselves or talk to another woman.
    Some men, on the other hand, will want to jump right in and DO something. They can't help it, maybe it's the way guys are wired. Bless his heart, as you said he's trying to help. Lots of men wouldn't do that.

  13. cookie1960

    cookie1960 New Member

    Just read your post(s). First of all - I do get the "quivers" in the muscles. Usually it's because I've done too much or I'm cold. Heating usually helps me.

    As far as the review. My advice is to present your Human Resources dept. with a "Rebuttal" letter to your review. Just because your supervisor writes something down about you and/or your work performance does not mean that it is true.

    Be professional (not whiney-or vindictive), and challenge the areas of the review that you feel are unfair or untrue. Ask for a meeting with your Human Resources rep and request that your letter be included along with the original review in your personnel file. Also...copy your
    supervisor and her supervisor as well.

    We all need to protect our rights in the workplace.

    Good Luck - Be Strong!
  14. jvrealty

    jvrealty New Member

    Keep good handwritten notes of this....should you have to leave your job due to your challenges caused by your condition, this will be in your employment file. it appears that your supervisor is aware of your condition, therefore, she must make accommodations for you and not discrimate in your evaluation, which limit your ability to rise higher in your job. don't let them get away with this, if they have issues, they need to document them before your evaluation and if you can make changes, to be more professional, then you can do that. but to way til your review, to spring this on you is discrimation.

    i will have a sincere talk with the h.r. department and ask them what you can do to help you to continue working because your supervisor is making the work environment stressful and you don't need stress, which cause you pain.'

    take it from me....i lost my job as a result of fibro and just recently settled a worker's compensation case against my employer for a significant sum.....

    so, document and don't let them push you around. you have rights, especially if they know your condition and they are not being accommodating to your needs, within reason. demand that they tell you in writing what is wrong, so that you have reasonable time to correct the issue. otherwise, you will find yourself out of a job and benefits, which i know that you need. right!

    they wait til the review, so that you can't make changes. reviews/evaluations equate money, for your work...no good review, no good pay.


  15. jvrealty

    jvrealty New Member

    Also, if your condition is caused by Stress, you need documentation so don't wait...listen to what we say, document your file and don't be afraid because if you loose your job, because of your low performance according to them, you can file a worker's compensation claim for benefits along with social security disability.....you are entitled.....

    keep your notes private in a journal...at home, not on your computer at work, cause they look at your notes....

    don't trust them...once you become ill, they look for ways to terminate you.....i know because i was there....worked at my job for 20 + years....illness came.....i was a no body and was an exceptional employee earning 70+ annually.....

    hope this helps you.

    now i can't work at my job..........i can't work period due to the severe pain in my body....
  16. robbie0813

    robbie0813 New Member

    I am starting to get my ducks in a row. I went today and got a copy of the personnel procedure manual on Employee Evaluation.

    It states: "Each supervisor is responsible for insuring that each employee under his or her direct and indirect supervision is evaluated annually" My last eval was 6/14/06.

    I am also am doing some research on some of the other suggestions that you guys have made. I am really concerned because our contracts are renewed once a year and that time is coming around soon. I would still think that they would need more than just one eval to not renew it but it does give me some concerns.

    I will keep yall posted! and I know I keep saying it but thank you so much for your responding. I makes me feel not so alone in this fight. I hate not being able to do all the things that I love to do. I work all week and sleep all weekend. This really sucks and if she thinks that I would take the way I feel over working she is out of her freakin mind!

    Thanks again