I am soooo scared

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by mamaeagle0103, May 30, 2006.

  1. mamaeagle0103

    mamaeagle0103 New Member

    My current pain specialist just had his license suspended. I wouldn't have even known had my psychiatrist not phoned me to let me know. I am finally living a halfway normal life because of the meds. I have an appointment with the Texas Back Institute on Thursday and I am so scared they will not agree with the meds I am on. I finally got help after 15 years of searching, have had 3 months of "better" living and now I feel like I am about to have to start all over. My Lord, I broke down the day I found out. I told my husband I just can't go back to living the way I did. I know I am in tremendous fear over something I have no control over. I am breaking down almost daily. I have set the kids up to be taken care of on the day of my appt. so my husband can go with me. He and I have been together for 18 years so he is extremely aware of my issues. Well, I guess that is it. I just have to wait until Thursday to find out if I will be taken seriously or pushed away once again. Please pray for me.
    [This Message was Edited on 05/30/2006]
  2. mme_curie68

    mme_curie68 New Member

    Documentation will be the key helper here, I think.

    Have you been charting your pain meds. vs. pain scale?

    The 1 to 10 pain scale, 1 being pain-free and 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt - that is a tangible indication of your reduction in pain, regardless of who has been treating you.

    If you haven't been keeping track, I would encourage you to do so. I chart pain, my blood pressure, pulse rate and temperature almost every day - that way my doctor can look at my numbers versus meds. and symptoms vs. this DD.

    Your former doctor's problems are beyond your control. All you can control is your position going into your meeting with the new doctor. Write out as much as you need to if you are afraid that you will forget an important point.

    Don't get frustrated when you get asked the same questions all over again about when the problem started, etc. - all doctors need to establish their own impression of you as a patient. They want to review your history and all that it entails.

    Ask your psychiatrist if she/he could do a telephone consult with the new doctor - often times they can discuss your treatment as peers and colleagues, rather than you having to go into the entire rigamarole, which I know can be very stressful.

    Try to keep it in the now.

    Hugs,
    Madame Curie

  3. mamaeagle0103

    mamaeagle0103 New Member

    I can't get any of my charts from my current pain specialist. When they took his license they shut it all down. I do, however, have all of my prescriptions and even my appointment card given by my current pain specialist that I was due back in on the 30th (today). I am also going to take a printout of the doctor's license suspension and any info I can to show that I have been under close (monthly) supervision in regards to my pain meds. The Texas Back Institute has a large packet of info I have to print and answer. It is all of the standard questionaires. 12 pages of it. I am thinking of doing two of them to describe what it was like before the meds as opposed to what it is like now. My pain is by no means gone. It is just more manageable. But as anyone knows on this board, when you have suffered with chronic pain for this long you learn to endure. I am also in the process of switching antidepressants which is real difficult. It is good though because it has me in touch with my psychiatrist on almost a weekly basis. I am sure that is one thing that is making the fear worse. Already switching brain meds and now the thought of detoxing off pain meds...kind of has me in a knot. I do normally cope better than this. We are strong people. Us sufferers of these illnesses. I think we should give ourselves more credit for that. With all we endure, we are still here and still wanting and working towards a rewarding life. It just all has me down. I am also in the process of suing the Saturn Corporation because my brand new Saturn Relay is a lemon. First ever brand new vehicle. Never thought I would sue anyone, yet here I am. Boy, I am just spilling alot!!! I appreciate the words of encouragement. Thank You
  4. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    mamaeagle:

    It might help to find out WHY his license was suspended. If you can not discuss with your psychiatrist your pain issues.
    He could be your greatest advocate.

    I woulod feel stress just like you, but maybe it is not warranted at this point.

    Good idea about bringing your husband.

    nyrofan
  5. mamaeagle0103

    mamaeagle0103 New Member

    Well, I found out why my pain management doctor lost his licnese. He is a full blown addict himself. DWI's, Possesion of controlled substances, Public intoxication, etc. I went to my first appt with a new doctor and it was a bust. They did not even charge me for the visit because the receptionist set me up with a spine doc, not a pain management doc...Had to call my shrink to beg for just one month of refills to get me by until I found another doc. She was wonderful. Had she not done it when she did, we would have been in big trouble. I say "WE" because the very next morning I was woken up at 4:00 am with full blown migraine. Had I not had my meds, my husband would have missed yet another day of work. I have know idea what is going to happen on the 14th when I go to see another doctor so I am just doing what I can to get by until then. I left the last visit in shambles. I so hate the drug issue. I hate it with all my being. My depression right now is real bad. I know I have no control over a lot of this. I am trying to accept that fact. I just do not want it to take another 15 years of pain before someone believes me. My psychiatris does, but she is not a pain management doctor and can not continue my pain meds. I am going to get her to work with this next doctor as an advocate for me. She is fully aware of my alcoholism and is also aware that I have never abused any of the meds she has given me. An alcoholic does not necessarily mean a drug addict also. Yet the stigma will follow me wherever I go. I just had to vent a little, I am in so much emotional pain right now. Feel like a lepar to others, family and friends. Just want to curl up in a ball and dissapear for a while. I appreciate all the support I get here. Thanks
  6. Jana1

    Jana1 New Member

    Dear Eagle,

    How hard to be dealing with both issues at the same time! I didn't know you are an alcoholic but that can't do anything but make looking for a doctor harder.

    I am glad you have the psychiatrist on your side and understands that the pain and alcohol are two different issues. I hope you live in or near a large city so you have many doctors to choose from. Okday, I just read your profile and see you are near Dallas..Good luck on the doctor thing.

    I admire you for staying at home with the little ones..Despite the hair-raising days, nothing remains of those days but so many many happy times with your kids which will always live on.

    Let us know how your appt goes, and know that many here are intersted in your welfare!

    Jana

  7. mamaeagle0103

    mamaeagle0103 New Member

    I am with a wonderful AA group locally. My "birthday" is August 25, 2003. My original was Dec 21, 89...but I chose to go back out in August of '95 because the pain got too bad. It was a long 8 years, but then I had my children and looking at their beautiful faces the drink wasn't about me anymore. I couldn't do it. That was not the mom I wanted for them. They deserve better as well as I do. Well, just a little more info. I need to update my bio and get some more in it. Thanks again for the support.
  8. BlueSky555

    BlueSky555 New Member

    I just wanted to let you know that I have been through the "change over" process with pain management Dr. I was really upset to find that my original Dr. was no longer with the Neurosurgeon I was going to. It was a shock because I went to my normal appointment and the receptionist said that Dr. Blank was no longer with them that he had moved to another town. She said I would be seeing Dr. Blank Blank. So I waited and was very scared but to my surprise, he started me on something different which turned out to help my pain much more than the first Dr.

    I was very fortunate and he has now located even closer to me; about 45 min. drive and used to be 1 1/2 hrs.

    Please hang in there; you never know what will happen; I wish you all the luck and hope things turn out good for you.

    I can't blame you for being afraid.

    God Bless You,

    BlueSky555
  9. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    The scary thing is it may be because he was actually prescribing pain meds that helped people. I hope not. See if you can get your regular doctor to take over the scrips now they are established. Talk to the pharmacist about the best way of doing this.

    Good Luck Anne Cromwell
  10. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    Hang in there .I know you are scaried but you do not need to add stress on yourself yet.
    They will see you are doing better and you just have to tell them how you have waited so long for help and you findly doing better.
    If they try to change ANYTHING ask to see someone else for another opinion.
    I'll be thinking of you on thur.
  11. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    doctor? Or his receptionist? They may have a name of a doctor who agrees with his methods of treatment if not his personal problems. Just a thought.
  12. mamaeagle0103

    mamaeagle0103 New Member

    My Pain Doc that just lost his license has closed up everything. I can't get my records, I can't get anything. The new doc is going to have to depend on the words of my shrink and my empty pill bottles with my original pain doc's name on it. I have also printed out the medical publications stating the trouble he is in and still have my appointment card showing that I was due to see him on May 30. That is all I have to take to the new pain doc. The local pain docs are really becoming aware of dr ****, because of the flood of people trying to get help. They know I am not making it up. By law, the pain doc is bound to release the records and refer all of his patients. It is called Patient Abandonment. My shrink says that because he is already in so much trouble, he just shut it all down because he doesn't want to deal with anymore. I'm sure someone will sue him over it. If things do not get better, I just might. Well, that is what is going on. Thank You for all of your support.