I am the lab rat

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Shannonsparkles, Jul 12, 2006.

  1. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    No more am I the patient. As of today, I am the lab rat.

    The patient pines, hopes, has his hopes squished away, and hopes again. He invests, he immagines, and he mourns.

    The lab rat is the ideal. He eats food. He excretes waste. He washes himself. He is warm and sheltered. Today is the day that he lives in. Whether a treatment or drug or procedure does this or that to him, he is always, simply and honestly, himself. He can't be anyone else. He does not worry. He accepts who he is and how he is, and does his best in the circumstances.

    I am done with being a patient. The emotional shocks are too close together for it. Hopes fluctuate in size and shape and color from day to day, and can vanish as a mirage in a desert. Worry circulates. The god-like figure of the doctor dominates, experiments. There is the agony of waiting for news and for understanding. There is the anxiety of knowing that you know more about the disease than the person in power over you does.

    So, I shall now be the lab rat - an Independant lab rat - exercising free choice over every experiment and how it's done. I will always be seeking new ideas and new treatments to use. I will continue to test new ideas. A lab rat gets honest results. There is no worry, no placebo effect, and no pressure to perform. There is simply a record of what works and what doesn't work. There is acceptance. And, comfortingly, there is food and warmth and shelter all the while.

    I will always fight the disease. But I will not give my power away and become a Patient. So, as of today, I am the Rat!

    (( )) Shannon
    What's your response? xxx
  2. vbjess

    vbjess New Member

    That's exactly how I feel. After going to so many doctors, the one who finally diagnosed me has earned the badge of honor to do what he will to try and make things better. I am willing to try just about anything. At best, remission. At worst, bedridden (again). Some days, hope is almost asking too much.

  3. UnicornK

    UnicornK New Member

    ..."I am the Warrior"? Patty Smythe sang it. I think she was in the group Scandal. Maybe I'll check the lyrics and rewrite it. It can become our theme song! Just think...thousands of us singing "I am the Lab Rat" all around the world! LOL

    God Bless.
  4. spacee

    spacee Member

    I was studied by the National Institutes of Medicine for 5 years. I used to say that I had always wanted to donate my body to science but I had thought it would be after I died.:).

    But I think it is a great pschological place to put yourself for as long as needed.

    Hugs to you!!

  5. kholmes

    kholmes New Member

    How about a 95 year old lab rat?

  6. labrat

    labrat New Member

    I used to work in research labs. Then I got sick and felt like the lab rat, so that's what I chose as my screen name. Ha, ha-but not so funny then, more ironic. Yes, I feel like you described Shannon.


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